um, fuck you?

Yeah, YEAH! What? Um, no, I didn't say anything, Lemur. No, who said I said that? I bet it was that FUCKING PENGUIN! You seem cool, lemur. Really. Don't get up. Do you need anything? No? Okay, well if you need anything, you let me know.

Newfie Pups Don't Faze This Motherfucker

You fucking bastard. Why can't both of your eyes be the same size? I'm on to you puppy. You can't stop me. Stay out of my way, you goddamn asshole. And if you EVER put your chin on ANYTHING again, so help me, puppy, so fucking help me...

Elitist Polar Bears

Oh, you think you're better than me, polar bear? Cause when I lay like that it just looks like I am drunk? Well, you can go FUCK YOURSELF. At least I don't walk around rubbing blood off my FUCKING fur in the snow all day! You probably hang out in Starbucks and watch television shows like 30 Rock and Mad Men. WELL FUCK YOU SOCIALIST.

Inaugural Address

GODDAMMIT penguin. You think you are SO FUCKING CUTE. I'll show you, penguin. Maybe not today. But soon, penguin. Watch your adorable fucking back...