Presenting the Signature Series

Is your Fuck You, Penguin shirt lonely? Or perhaps you hate penguins so much that you couldn't bear to wear them on your shirt... Fear not, for here are the first two shirts in the Fuck You, Penguin Signature Series. Each design has been hand-crafted with the same care, love, and thoughtfulness that goes into each post at Fuck You, Penguin only, unlike the posts, it actually was. In a hundred years, when the penguins have taken over the world and we are all slaves, these shirts will fuel the underground, and will therefore be serious collector's items (think books in Fahrenheit 451, only you won't have to write a book report about it).

In honor of the Pulizter Prize-winning Puffin exposé Puffin hoax revealed!, we have the dainty but firm "Puffin My Ass" shirt:

(Also available in blue, pink, and different styles here.)

And for those of you who like to sit and contemplate your clothing, I give you a shirt inspired by the Nobell Prize for Literature-winning haiku from The red-crowned crane is a straight con, the "Zen Crane" shirt:

I hope when you pass these shirts down to your great-grandchildren, they make them as happy as they undoubtedly make you right now. Unless your great-grandchildren turn out to be dicks, in which case I suggest you burn these on your death bed.