A reader came across this Unidentified Furry Object in Peru, and I thought maybe there was someone out there who could call out this fucker by name.
Why is it standing on a bench? Why is it drinking from a mug? WHY ARE ITS WHISKERS SO LONG BUT ITS TAIL SO SHORT?
If you can identify this animal and answer all of these questions, you and a guest will fly all expenses paid to Peru to have a beer with the animal and see what develops. (Offer void where you live.)
109 comments:
I felt myself die a little bit on the inside.
Mountain paca. Nasty fucker.
1. He's tired.
2. He's thirsty.
3. Pull whiskers, shorten tail.
It's one of the Rodents of Unusual Size from the Fire Swamp. I'm, like, 70% sure. Okay... 50% sure.
It could be a very lost Tasmanian devil.
It looks like an otter.
You know guinea pigs are food in Peru. There are like millions of them running around in rural parts of the country. They fry them whole, so you end up with a crispy rodent, nails and teeth and all, staring at you from your plate. I tried it...too many bones for me.
It's the Chupacabra! He just wanted some water, and some paparazzi fuckwad took his picture.. shamless fucks.
Whatever it is, it is so fucking cute that I may just kill myself. It's drinking out of a cup! What the hell is that crap?
Isn't that Danny DeVito?
NUTRIA, maybe!
I think he's a pacarana ("terrible rat"). See http://www.newquayzoo.org.uk/conservation/overseas-projects.htm for further horror.
OMG, the first photo was okay but I made the mistake of clicking on the link:
I just peed my pants. Thanks a lot. I'm a work, sitting in a puddle now.
You should've warned us on that, dude.
Seriously. WTF is that?
That's a rat on a miniature bench, with a miniature mug.
TICKETS TO PERU PLEASE
I sort of just want to know, WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS? It's like he thinks he has opposable thumbs, or something. Stick to what you know, mystery rodent.
I don't think it is a nutria, they have super long rat tails (because they are rats). But possibly it is a cuy, a Peruvian guinea pig, which are roasted whole and eaten. Which I think is even more barbarous than those whiskers.
My god - you found my long lost nephew. How can I repay you?
Ok, do you know the photographer, because I am missing a cup?
pfft that's no danny devito that's my ex boyfriend.. THAT SNEAKY LITTLE RAT!!!!!!
Haha, very cute!
good god, it's a fucking chupacabra...stay away from it!
It is most certainly a pacarana (Dinomys branickii)visit http://www.arkive.org/pacarana/dinomys-branickii/ to see it in all its glory
That is the ugliest damn guinea pig I have ever seen. I would fry it and eat it too.
Is anyone else worried by the red blood-ish looking liquid all around it on the bench, or is that just me? Whatever it is, keep a distance.
I think it may be this guy (he gets around):
http://www.hulu.com/watch/12319/ice-age-nut-in-the-rain
I wouldn't go to Peru if you paid me. Those little ankle biters are FREAKY looking.
Definitely ROUS'ses
And thos there did I behold a pale horse, and he that rode upon him was that thing, and its name was death.
holy sh*t. that f-er is terrible. i clicked the pic and got another taste of that little rat bastard, good god help me. he should be shot. and wtf he's drinking out of a cup, please kill me now.
Similar to those mentioned above. Watch out though!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_agouti
“When feeding, agoutis sit on their hind legs and hold food between their forepaws.”
“They are regarded as the only species that can open Brazil nuts without tools, mainly thanks to their strength and exceptionally sharp teeth.”
I Googled pacarana and that's not what it is al all. http://www.symbolicsound.com/cgi-bin/bin/view/Products/Pacarana
Ha! Did that little bastard actually think he could get away with being criminally cute and not get named? He didn't recon on me having photoshop and google at my disposal, oh no.
Well after upping the exposure a little I think we're dealing with an Agouti, very probably 'Agouti taczanowskii'.
'Fluffy, spotten Peruvian Asshole' more like.
Gay Penguins raising chick: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31123391/
is he a capybara?
...he's standing on a bench drinking out of a cup...he looks so casual about it.
...ahh...
I can't fucking handle this.
kalliesz is correct. It is a pacarana. A smart and dexterous one at that! Peruvians are in big trouble here
Capybaras. It's the largest rodent in South America. Disgusting. They're all over the streets of Buenos Aires.
This little bastard totally reminds me of "The Doubtful Guest" by Edward Gorey. Careful he doesn't move in with you and start hiding all your bath towels.
it looks very much like a chinchilla. check out the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinchilla
I think that sucker is some CGI test character for an upcoming sequel to Iron Man.
TOTES a pacarana:
http://www.arkive.org/media/7F/7FCBFEDD-D915-4D0B-823E-A1B2949FF72D/Presentation.Large/photo.jpg
Feast your eyes on THAT.
I blame this motherfucker for the hole in the ozone layer
Not Iron Man, Jeff...that's Wolverine BEFORE he has his first cup of morning coffee...
Rodents drinking beer... Next thing you know, they'll be talking on a cell phone and driving.
It looks like an agouti. They sit on their hind legs and hold their food between their front paws, so drinking from a cup like that is within spec. Agouti tails tend to be short.
What a frat boy. I can't take it. Some of us don't want to relive those college years, dude.
That thing is awesome! I want to take it to a strip club!
It's a Peruvian Fuck Rat.
pretty sure its a Llama
This is how it starts - first they drink from cups, next thing you know the little fuckers are building A-bombs in their burrow (or wherever these little shits live)...
Looks like a vile little bastard.
I'm going to catch it, then bum it. Dry. It will know pain, oh yes it will know pain.
Its a gerbil wearing a hairshirt.
It's Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
Its a baby Pacarana probably.
Looks like a puffin to me.
when we're gone, smart rodents can take over.
Could it be a northern Vizcacha perhaps?
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Northern_vizcacha2.jpg
I'll never drink from a mug again, fuck him and his small tail!
To the tune of Macarena...
Come and find me, my name is PACARANA.
Always at the party con las chicas que son buena.
Hey PACARANA! Ay!
Dirty little paws on something that clearly does not belong to him. Who does he think he is fooling with that cute "i am just finishing my meeelk" look? gross.
It's a Woodchuck. How may chucks would a fucking Woodchuck fuck, if a Woodchuck could fuck chucks?
He's on the list of the Top Eleven Most Wanted Rodents: I've seen his picture before.
http://media-2.web.britannica.com/eb-media/03/24103-004-955EBE73.jpg
I hope some twit in Peru doesn't give it a passport! Life here is already too complicated to share it with a rat relative who has boundary issues. I for one draw the line at sharing the car!
ROUS
This shit is too funny!
I think this is a baby lowland paca... Tasty!
oh you silly twat-
her tail is short because
10 years ago her (ex) boyfriend chopped it
machete style
whilst humming van morrison jamz.
"all the niiiiggghhhttttsssss magic"
AND CHOP.
like
men :::ahemcoughboys:::
tend
to
he didn't feel he'd inflicted enough damage,
so he punched her in the ovaries.
THEN
fate said:
o inbred squirrel. as if you ain't been through enough ish already. lets jack all your estrogen and load you up with what dem emos got. make you a prone to dark eyeliner and gun for insomnia. YEA, that's right. develop moon facies, christmas tree-like spotting.
you'll be one ugly squirrel.
and even less cute/more obnoxious animals will ignore you.
no wonder she's an alcoholic.
and can you blame her??
(word)
http://www.k9assistance.co.uk/uploaded_images/DSC02223-709619.JPG
Look at how big it gets.
;)
It's a Peruvian pygmy ground squirrel. That bench has been in his family for generations. His bisabuelo made the bench to commemorate the birth of his first-born son. Simply put: Standing on a bench is in his blood. The squirrel is also an alcoholic. His wife knows this, and threw out all the alcohol in the house in a fit of rage. But this crafty guy found a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a bottle of cough syrup and mixed the two in a ceramic mug so no one would see what he was drinking. As to the hairstyle: Party in the front, business in the rear. That's how squirrels roll, eso.
Also, the squirrel is clearly an asshole. I don't know if I made that clear or not.
I haven't really lived for ages. God, I hope I win.
I think it must still be imaginary animal week, cuz I refuse to believe in that wretched creature. Fuck that.
Obviously in jail. And using a plastic cup because they just turn any metal object they can get their paws on into a shiv.
damnit. nancy wins.
genius
What the hell is it y'all...for real....this is driving me nuts!
It's probably a gibnut, also know as paca or "halay" in Mopan Maya. I ate it when I lived in Belize. So did the Queen of England, apparently, when she visited Belize.
Love your blog!!! Only wish it didn't require s Net Nanny intercepts to get to it each time.
This is freaking brilliant. The sould quakes a bit at the cuteness.
*soul* damn.
This is the most hilarious blog I have ever seen.
It looks like a cross between a spotted quoll and a tasmanian devil that got very confused.
what's it swigging, I wonder?
Isn't he the mentor of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Who stole his freaking robe?
I love it!
I think that was my date from last week. Actually, this fucker has one-up on the 8th dwarf of a date because he looks to have a sweet tail.
I DONT KNOW, JUST DONT DRINK THAT SHEEET, LOOK WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO!!!!!!
Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't believe they exist!
He loves gatorade and a glassy eyed sugar rush. Check out a video of him in action:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gringoesloco/3380949650/in/set-72157615698755133/
or here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gringoesloco/3380128013/in/set-72157615698755133/
Guinea pigs don't have tails, you idiots.
Sneaky bastards too...
"Don’t expect him to reveal a lot about himself though! The Pacarana is a very secretive animal. No one was even aware of its existence until 1873."
I've got one up my arse as I type.
"(offer void where you live)"
fucking hilarious :)
I believe that's Jeff.
what if i post this where i work, and not where i live, will the offer to identify the thing still apply?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg
Warning...these scenes contain material of a graphic nature, don't look if you have a weak stomach or mind.
what's up with the person sitting next to IT?! why doesn't s/he DO something about the situation; like, at least take the fucking cup away from IT!! jeeeeeze.
I have been to Peru. I have eaten guinea pig and that's not one of them. Oh, and you also don't really want their beer either.
Awww.
This fucker makes me wish I'd voted Republican. You can totally tell he hates America:
http://www.k9assistance.co.uk/uploaded_images/DSC02223-709619.JPG
WTF?! Go be cute somewhere else!
He hates America AND the troops. I can see it in his filthy, beedy eyes.
Word Verification- 'restican'. As in, restican't until this image is gone from mine eyes
Cute? Oh sure it is. But what's most distressing is that it seems to have thumbs, Focker... Which means that the Tweeting can't be far beind the drinking. FROM A CUP.
Don't know what it is but I wouldn't wanna fuck with anything can chug a jug that size....
it is a paca
Looks like one of Bin Laden's offspring
Looks like one of Bin Laden's chidren
looks like a quoll I saw in the outback of australia
Beware the jabberwock, my friends.
Didn't Paddington Bear come from darkest Peru?
Look, It's a Pacarana, Dinomys branickii. I'm a biologist and am completely right in this. I don't care what everyone else says. It's a Pacarana. Thank you.
Its a Borugo, the world's largest rodent. Its a herbivore, and pretty passive/slow much like a 3 toed sloth. In peru they call it a jungle pig. You can see it in zoos there, but it is also eaten. It gets to the size of a small pig. It is cooked in stews, much like cuy (guineapig), but more in the high jungle (Amazon) than in the sierra itself. It goes by lots of other names though, depending on which indigenous language you are using...
BORUGO- LAPA - GUAGUA or PACA
http://travel.mongabay.com/colombia/images/co06-1292.html
http://www.pluralismundus.com/index.html?target=p_92.html&lang=fr
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