Monday, July 27, 2009

I'm dreaming of a white jackass


Here I am sweating away in the heart of summer and this little jerk decides to prance around in his Winter Wonderland for the day. Look at him, standing on his hind fucking legs picking berries for the '10 poster. THE AIR CONDITIONING IN MY CAR IS NOT WORKING RIGHT NOW, ASSHOLE. Way to be a heartless weasel.

And what of your supposed purity, Ermine? I know you act like you would show me a world of peace and joy where candy canes dance among the lollipop trees. But what happens when I join you among the berries and the snow? Your belly would keep me warm, Ermine, but your empty promises would leave me cold. And soon the weather would warm, the snow would melt, and you would go back to being just another loser in a brown coat. So chew on that next time you think you're Rudolph the fucking reindeer.

34 comments:

gregoryyy said...

I just rode my bike to the Coffeehouse just trying to get a little reading done and you know what show-off?

It's already 90 fucking degrees.My ass is on fire,

Why did you have to show yourself it such Chilly Jollyness???

(even your fucking name is pissing me off)

THANKS or ruining my Monday ,and,my week.!!!!!!

Laila P said...

Is that thing even real?!

Anonymous said...

That thing is scary looking.

ensalaco said...

Weasels, ferrets, mostelids in general have been dead to me ever since I met a ferret named Penelope who used to burrow under me while I was sleeping, like I fucking needed that shit.

Bunnee said...

Don't let the dainty look and pristine coat fool you! Its soul is a black hole of pure, unadulterated evil!

Alex Headrick said...

No joke. Stay away from this thing. From the wikipedia entry: "The ermine is capable of killing animals much larger than itself. When it is able to obtain more meat than it can eat it will engage in 'surplus killing.' ... Like other mustelids it typically dispatches its prey by biting into the base of the skull to get at the centers of the brain responsible for such important biological functions as breathing."

The Woeful Budgie said...

Hope those berries are poisonous, you little fucker.

You heard me.

Anonymous said...

I am so jealous at that f***** weasel.

Unknown said...

What fucking nutcase would even think to do such a thing!

Anonymous said...

That friggin weasel will be my winter coat next year...mark my words!I'm already wearing your granny!

Kelly said...

Exposing your soft underbelly makes you vulnerable to my wrath, sir.

The Peach Tart said...

this little prick is pure evil

hiphophippie.com said...

Nice stubby legs, jack-off. I'd like to see you try to find pants that fit.

Glory von Hathor said...

CGI or oil-paint? You decide.

girl6 said...

...and put some fucking clothes on, you bastard.

Unknown said...

I'm pretty sure this photo is from some sort of Taxidermy expo -- like at a Bass Pro Shop or something.

...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I bet there's no snow in hell you little psychopath.

nltisme said...

My air conditioner in my car is not working either so I am not happy with this little weasel for reminding me. It is hot as hell down here in Mississippi right now!

tea_please said...

At least you have the comfort knowing Mr. Has It All will end up with the shits. Holly berries are poisonous.

Mike! said...

Fucking dickless wonder. I'd call him a jack-off, but with no dick, how could that be? Know what? I don't care. You miserable little fucking winter wonderland, berry kissing jack-off! Go put your head in an oven!

WR said...

The HEAT of the summer makes us MEAN you little f#@%^r. 101F here in the Central Valley and this is one of the cooler days. No snow here, snow bunny...but a lot of hunters...go back to the holiday card you came from and leave us alone!

With friends like you - who needs enemies!

Dr. No said...

No worries. I poisoned those berries last week.

Lizzie said...

http://www.treehugger.com/files/2009/07/china-frozen-sperm-could-save-pandas-video.php?dcitc=th_rss

how about that for cute

clypod said...

That's an ex-ermine.

Can't shit on an animal that's already been fuck-you'd to a literal fare-thee-well.

Hayley said...

It looks stuffed. (and not stuffed cuz he ate so many berries, but stuffed like a taxidermist got a hold of him like somebody else said).

thwany said...

preach on.

Unknown said...

Weasels are heartless, yo. And that purity is really just camouflage. I'm surprised you were taken in.

Trish said...

Ferrets are great at flying across a room when they burrow under the covers and nip at people's feet.
I know. Was there, and heard the thud. This guy here has a terrific aerodynamic look to him too.

Pipes MacFads said...

well as far as youtube had shown me, these things kill other CUTER animals.

i don't like him. not one bit.

Dindrane said...

I am NOT going to spend the rest of the night thinking about kissing and nuzzling that soft little fluffy belly.

Nope, I'm NOT.

apotheosis said...

I don't know what the hell this effete little putz has to smile about. He's the one reject Vegan in an entire species of relentless carnivorous killing machines.

I assume it's happy because it's winter break, and he won't have to dread to all the REAL mustelids snapping his ass with towels in the school locker room for a couple of weeks.

Unknown said...

If it makes you feel any better...

I'm pretty sure the berry he is trying to eat is poisonous.

Carmelle said...

At least the little fucker isn't donning tiny fake reindeer antlers.

J said...

Dear Ermine,

We hope to God those berries are poisoned. Die, you little rat. Die.


Regards,
Everyone
http://regardseveryone.blogspot.com/

Unknown said...

Nice try, Ermine. But you will have to do better than pose for some Christmas card to get me. You are getting closer, though. Just not there yet.