What is it about weird antelopes? Gerenuk, you are so adorable, yet so terrifying, like a Disney character that ends up torturing Bambi's mother while Bambi watches. You have a normal torso, but other than that I am creeped out by literally everything else about you.
It's the head that really gets me, though. You could have weirdly long legs, a bushy mohawk tail, a weirdly thin, long neck, and ears with pitchfork marks inside of them, and if you had a normal-sized head, I would be like, "Touché." But your head basically makes me want to write my congressman about starting a government agency to monitor your movements and make sure you haven't started any international money laundering networks to pay for your secret takeover of my brain. So just keep eating from that tree, hold your hooves where I can see them, and don't appear in any movies where you can talk in a funny voice, Gerenuk. I wouldn't want to have to do anything we'd both regret.
58 comments:
Seriously, that is one bizarre- looking dude! Like some kind of genetic mutation that grew up too close to Chernobyl! Arghhh!
That's one creepy looking bastard. He's totally ripped from the shoulders down, with rippling leg muscles and a thick torso.
But then that long, thin neck and its shrunken head. Looks like a fucking Q-Tip. I wanna jam it into my ear canal and swipe away all that wax.
Thats definately an antelope born from the rape of its mother by a dwarf giraffe.
Motherfucker stole my name and thinks I won't recognize it because he replaced the I with a U. Fuck you, buddy, get your own goddamn name! How about "Antelopey the Pinhead"?
Creepy-ass bastard.
That's the weirdest looking thing I've ever seen.
I can see where the puppeteer puts the arm in to operate the head segment - that's fooling no one. But where does the rest of the puppeteer's body go? I don't get how he holds it.
He reminds me of a witch doctor with a shrunken head.
Thats a weird pose...
It's head is tiny so it can tunnel its way into your brain like that evil insect from Star Trek. Clearly this abomination is also from outer space. Probably somewhere where they breathe creepiness instead of oxygen.
It's called a gerenuk, there is no such thing as a generuk.
Oh, yeah, Goldfish? Well, I did it on purpose because it's opposite day, so I guess the jokes on you!
PS. I'm sorry about when I was five.
I think Fred Blassie describes this weirdo best: "Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak, scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique."
What a creep.
http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/
Big body, little itty, bitty head
It's called a gerenuk, there is no such thing as a generuk.
Are you saying I don't exist?
reminds me of the push-me-pull-you
Fuck You!! You really should watch how much acid you take.Its out there buddy! Whoaa!!!
Notice that head is smaller than ALL other body parts. Ewwwww
He's totally using that long neck to peep over your hedge, the pervy bastard.
Dude, and why the hell do his front legs look like they should be his back legs? The fuck? Get it together, Gerenuk.
THB
http://thingsithinkithinkithink.blogspot.com/
Holy Mother of God! This thing is so creepy it makes me think, "hey, extinction of an entire species might have a bright side." I'm just sayin'...
Reuben's gonna be PISSED someone's taken his schizam: http://www.freakingnews.com/Ruben-Studdard-Pictures-31920.asp
www.hollysdailyrant.blogspot.com
Hey, who got that shot of Olive Oyl?
It's not that the thing has an unusually small head, it's just that his neck is 17 feet long. The photo captures him with the head further into the background than the rest of his body....
That thing's other car is a spaceship.
You know what they say about Gerenuk's with small heads!
I think this weird looking thing is messing with all of us, but I agree: it sure is creepy. I wonder, does its body get stuck in small openings it can get its tiny pinhead through but not its fat ass?
No self respecting hunter would ever bag one of those things. Imagine dragging its carcass to a taxidermist.
You: "Hey, can you mount this thing's head? I want it to hang over my fireplace>"
Taxidermist: "What the fuck is that thing? Is that one of those weird ass jerry-nooks? Gear-nooks? It's some kind of nookie."
You: "Just stuff it!"
Taxidermist:" No you stuff it! No motherfucker comes into MY shop and gets mouthy with me! Now get out! And take that mutant burro with you!"
I hope its rabid.
I usually don't post more than once, but this creepy bastard had me up all night, thinking about it. Its part antelope, part giraffe, part goat. Little fucker can't be trusted! And it's waving its penis around in front of children! It is living PROOF of evolution because no god would ever create something as goofy and fucked up as this.
Gerenuk, you are a disgrace to the entire class mammalia, and I say that as an alpha male. Go soak your head. Maybe it will swell up and you'll look a little normal, you pin-head mutant fuck.
Love your blog -- surprised this morning, though, to see a photo by a photographer I know!!!! ATTRIBUTION! Can't you, like, link the photo back to his page at least or something???
http://www.despines.com/pictures/Animals/Mammals/Antelope/Gerenuk/mammals2.html
Other than that, keep up the great & important work...
;)
LOL! That damn pin head antelope. I'm just bothered by it all. Why the hell is he standing up like that. It's odd and really creepy...
stop looking at me like that you antelope!
He's made that way so he can jam his head up his ass with little to no effort. Did I mention he's in poltics too? As if I needed to tell you.
Is that a giant African toothpick?
Bald cats scare the hell out of me -> http://hollysdailyrant.blogspot.com/
The head scares you!!?? WTF, didn't you notice its freakin' ears?? Those fuckers probably pick up signals from space.
It's like God wanted to leave us proof of his own non-existence...
Your book is brilliant. Thanks for having so much talent.
how can u write soooooooooo many posts so frequently......fromwere do u come up with such ideas??? HATS OFF TO YOU......FIRST TIME THE READER IS FALING SHORT OF TIME BUT NOT DA WRITTER.....great work, keep writting, although i might not b able to comment all da time, but i do read all da post since i have joined u, infact tryin to read on all da ones i have missed, but its an ocean of posts which will take years for me to read.....
If you rotate the picture 90 degrees to the left and look only from the upper part of the torso to the neck (before the weird face)..remember to close your eyes a bit..and forget the fact that he is a antelopes, then you could see a different picture of a JUMPING KANGAROO
From the neck up it reminds me of Christian apologist/douchebag J.P Holding.
I love how your book made Entertainment Weekly's top 10. I about pissed my pants with excitement when I saw that.
Oh yeah, what the fuck is that freak deer reject sideshow of an animal doing?
LMFAO this shit is scary!
The gerenuk really is made by Disney. Here is a baby one fresh from their labs. Look how pissed he is.
http://land.allears.net/blogs/dnews/walt_disney_world/animal_kingdom/
LMFAOOOO @ Xila
That's strange...:\
All I can do is drop my jaw and let it hang. My god.
www.struck.blogg.se
oh sweet jesus...if i were an animal, that's what i'd be.
the gerenuk is the pixie-faced pinhead of the animal world.
help me.
www.TizandAss.blogspot.com
This "thing" is mentioned in the Bible you know: Genesis 2:79-82 "And on the evening of the sixth day, around five o'clock, God said, Behold! We needeth one more antelope! So he began to look for parts meet for to make a new antelope. But all he had were a few parts left over from other greater creatures. So, sighing deeply, he assembledeth a new creature entirely from parts he had around the garage. And when he had finished, he looketh at the clock an sayeth, "It's Miller time, and I'm taking tomorrow off." And behold, all of the angels of heaven didst laugh, and mock the new creature. And they called him gerenuk, which in the Aramaic means goofy-pinhead. and they stuck him in a closet outside of Babylon which was nowhere near Eden."
I'm trying to explain this blog to my mom and she doesn't get it. I've joined the buy-multiple-books Fuck You Penguin cult!
Bloody hell that thing is obscene!! The face alone reminds me of the forest god from Princess Mononoke... Which in turn makes me question why I like that movie so much o_O
That is unbelievable. I need a magnifying glass to see the dudes head. Totally effed. Made me lol.
Woah, Gerenuk, your junk is bigger than your head! You're like the Dirk Diggler of the jungle . . . rock and roll.
It looks the long necked peewee head monster in evil dead 2. Luckily Ash chopped that things head off with a chainsaw. But what about this one?
I've never seen a creature like that, but that was funny!
I was certain that you photoshopped this and were trying to pass it off as a real animal, but then I Googled it and it was all disturbingly real. They seem to be standing on their hind legs a lot in the pictures, and what the fuck is that about?
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