Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Imaginary animals are supposed to, oh, I don't know, require imagination
COME ON, JACKALOPE. A rabbit with antlers? This was the best you losers could come up with? You know, if I was a fake animal, I'd throw in some cool shit, like wings, and laser eyes. All you did was put one thing from another animal onto a completely normal animal! Um, okay, a puppy with a trunk for a nose! I call it a elephuppy. A fox with a beak! I call it a fuck, and then I'll let it glance in your general direction.
Don't even look at me that way, because even if I could pet you I probably wouldn't, since you failed so royally. You had an infinite number of possibilities, Jackalope, and you picked this one. And now you are going to have to not live with it for the rest of your non-existent life. Deal with it.
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Is this "fantasy animals week" or "animal fantasies week"? HMMM? HMMM?
Okay. Normally I jump in and insult the animal in question, but I defer to your prowess and the excellence of this post.
"Elephuppy"? Did I just read that?
Lol a Jackolope....
I just vomitted my breakfast Jackalope! You're not gonna win friends or influence people being so damn hideous! Why don't you and your friend Unicorn go back to your fantasy land. And die!
I'm thinking a pot, some potatoe's...couple of onions. Dash of chili and he's ready!
fuck this shit.
WTF? Did he think we'd want to make a bunch of pathetic jokes, like "That's one horny rabbit" badaBUM! YOUR PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT HUMOR MAKES ME WANT TO HANG MYSELF.
Stupid rabbit. I've seen poodles dressed as reindeer that had more dignity.
Jackalope; what a dope!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackalope
i guess the shope papilloma virus was more than you bargained for, huh, rabbit? you got what you deserved.
my pet wolpertinger finishes his beer, belches, and heads back to the kitchen to see if his jackalope hasenpfeffer is ready yet....
I'm sorry, but you know fuck-all about jackalopes. I have encountered numerous specimens of winged jackalope, some with feathery legs to boot. Have you never been to South Dakota?
Laser eyes... not so much.
What a maroon!!
Wait, didn't another imaginary rabbit already say that?
Thanks to that hack Dave Coulier I used to think you were real! Totally lame that you're not. So, just... go. LEAVE! I mean it, Jackaloupe.
At least I still have dragons...
you are ridicious jackalope. and absurd. don't give me that vacant look, that "oh, look at me, I'm just a jackalope over here not existing." my cheetahlop will come and eat you for dinner. he's faster than you. and hungry.
Okay. Normally I jump in and insult the animal in question, but I defer to your prowess and the excellence of this post.
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Antlers aren't even cool, Jackalope. You could have at least gotten yourself some sweet wings or a few rows of shark teeth.
What are antlers going to do for you? Make you look scary? Newsflash. It. Didn't. Work.
If you are going to attack imaginary animals go for the Liger. It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
Wait, what the fuck? You have got to be kidding me...Liger you fuck. You just had to force your way into existence didn't you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liger
Ha ha ha ha seriously? There is also a Tigon!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tigon
Sporting those antlers. Like you're SOMEBODY.
I have a love hate relationship with Wiki...
A Pumapard? Really?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pumapard
That's actually some decent photoshopping.
Just remember...Fennec Fox's and Pink Dolphins are real...
scared & alone,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com
Jackalope, I aught to shoot you, and mount your head on my wall to use as a hatrack.
Oh wait, I already have one. Well, I guess a man can never have too many Jackalope head hatracks, so c'mere!
Jackalope April Fools pranks:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=By9sHP1MWVk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sg1CRgUjYVo
I <3 the supersuckers & not jacaklopes. They have a creepy eye.
ubuntu 9.04 jaunty is real :D.
Ate one today, in fact!
Tasted like chicken.
So if a unicorn's horn can neutralize poison, can a jackalope's antlers neutralize... um... carrot juice?
Someone needs to write a complaint letter about this high fiving mother fucker! I can't. He killed me with his wittle paws ARGHFFFF
http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photo_StoryLevel/080506/080506-jaguar-hmed-830a.hmedium.jpg
Fox + Duck + Female Sheep = Fuck Ewe
http://ww2.lafayette.edu/~hollidac/jacksforreal.html
jackalopes are real!
Dear Jackolope,
You're not fooling anybody. Your "antler" trick is no better than then ol' "arrow-through-the-head" trick that humans try to pull.
Get out of my face.
Regards,
Everyone
http://regardseveryone.blogspot.com
It's too early (or perhaps it is too late...) to be having existential flights of imaginary fancy. The horns, by the way, are so last year.
Go Eat grass somewhere else and stay out of California "Jack" ~ we don't need your mental complications.
Can we get pass the fantasy animals. Lets talk about the space bear. No really there is a space bear and it can live in suspended animation for years. Really look it up.
Pfft... you call yourself a 'jackalope'.
Why then, muthahfukkah, do you sport DEER antlers?!? You're not a jackalope, you're a REINUNNY!
What, you thought we wouldn't notice? That we don't know the difference between one ungulate-lapin hybrid and another?!?
WELL WE DO, YOU LITTLE CREEP!!
Listen, I know it sucks to be you. The Easter Bunny doesn't like you, Santa can't use you, and you keep accidentally goring the kiddies at the petting zoo.
But this is just sad, man. Be yourself. And get the fuck out of here.
as long as we're fantasizing...i want a zebrilla!
'Fuck' is just too good!!! ;)
I just found this out.
Their babies,are called" lookiloos" !
I'd like to see Rau "fuckwit" Comfort's crocoduck
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Crocoduck
This is not a jackalope. jackalopes have horns like antelope. this is clearly a jackadeer.
http://academic.wsc.edu/faculty/raberto1/explorers_club/black_hills_pix/Brian%20Franzone%20Photos/Jackalope.jpg
Thanks a lot, man. I had managed to keep the fact that the jackelope wasn't real a secret from my husband until he saw your post. He's crushed. With santa and the Easter Bunny discovered on our honeymoon, I thought I'd be able to salvage what little child-like wonder he had left with the jackelope. But thanks to you, he now has nothing left to believe in.
I fully expect you to cover the expense of our marraige counseling for as long as it takes to save our now crumbling relationship.
Fuck you, blog guy.
Wait, are you like trying to say I am a figment of my own imagination?
Fantastic !!
Jackalope. You should see that one short film by Pixar. It's got a Jackalope in it that says "heliotrope" which is epically insane.
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