What's that, Elephant? You have a large trunk? I had no idea, because it's not like you are putting it DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING FACE. You know, I'm pretty tall, too. I can reach the top shelf in my kitchen. I also spray water out of my nose to bathe myself practically every day. So please, stop pretending that just because you can do math and recognize your buddies you should get a fucking Presidential Medal of Honor. Hey, there's Jim, with four other friends whom I recognize, which makes five people total. NOT THAT HARD ELEPHANT, STEP YOUR GAME UP.
It's been a long time since I nearly choked to death on coffee shooting from my nose while reading a blog. Last time was purely coincidental. This time it was something legitimately hysterical. Keep putting those animals in their places, dammit.
ReplyDeleteAnd you know what? Splurge on a goddamn nose- and ear-hair trimmer from Sharper fucking Image.
ReplyDeleteChrist, you pachyderms have no sense of hygiene let alone self respect.
Douche.
hahah!!
ReplyDeleteDear Mom & Dad,
ReplyDeleteWell it's finally happened, I've finally met the blog of my dreams, and we're getting married and I'm having its babies AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!!!
xox,
me
I was just introduced to your blog today. You might be a genius. Have you taken a test for that recently?
ReplyDeletei love your blog, LOVE LOVE LOVE! one of the best I've come across, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteTake that Fuckin' Elephants
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou know what? Your writing FUCKING SUCKS DONKEY DICK. You can tell that last sentence was funny because it was in caps, and had curse words in it. It even has an animal in it.
ReplyDeleteStop this shit. lolcats weren't funny and this shit sure as fuck isn't either.
ArKaiN said...
ReplyDelete"lolcats weren't funny"
Are you kidding me? LOLCATS were hilarious...
Your blog makes me cry. In a very good way.
ReplyDeleteWow - so much repressed anger. In that anteater, I mean. And don't get me started on the elephant. The nerve of that guy! The bear doesn't threaten me, though - are you sure you're not 'projecting' on that one? It just looks like he's had his share of porn for one day, and now he wants a nap.
ReplyDeleteFUCK You too Motherfucker!
ReplyDeleteShove it up your ass!
YOU SUCK!
I find this POS word verification challenging.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteok. step down david attenborough. you were the nations favorite natural historian... but there's a new fucked up penguin in town stealing the thunder.
ReplyDeletetell it like it is you bad mammajamma... and let those critters have it nagdamit.
I think I love you.
ReplyDeleteIt's good that someone is telling wild animals how it is. I support that. At the same time, it's a little silly to neglect all the cute kitten/puppies that are produced right here at home. In terms of sheer numbers, they're a much bigger problem, prancing around with their attitudes as they do. Just look at http://icanhascheezburger.com/
ReplyDeleteI mean, why go out and deal with animals far away when animals right here at home are making things hard? Is the writer of this blog interested only in going after high-profile animals? Then this becomes a celebrity blog, instead of an engine for social change-- which is what we sorely need.
Don't hotlink straight from wikimedia.
ReplyDeleteElephants are great harmonicaplayers (Asian elephants not african)
ReplyDeletethis elephant is showing off also...
ReplyDeletehttp://farm4.static.flickr.com/3090/3098882540_62ce9f86b0_b.jpg
I think ArKaiN is a fucking cockholster.
ReplyDeleteArKaiN, might I make a suggestion? Find a good proctologist and get the stick removed from your ass. INTERNETS ARE NOT THAT SERIOUS A BUSINESS 4 REALS.
Let us not forget that they are also art snobs.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.elephantart.com/catalog/default.php