Save it for the tourists, Reindeer, because there is no way I'm buying that "surprised" act. Talking like, "oh, it's Christmas already? I didn't even have my good horns on!" when we all know you're back there marking your calendar, counting down the days. You can't hide how you really feel about Christmas forever, Reindeer. My guess? You actually were surprised one year, but then you saw the picture and felt like it really made you look thinner, so now you do it every fucking year, like the weird girl in high school that everyone knew was getting plastic surgery the minute she turned 18.
So don't think it's going to work on me. I know you wanted to come over my house last night and give me that iPod. Merry fucking Christmas, Reindeer.
Reindeer are stupid bitches and Santa whores. They thinl they're better than us. At least we don't poop where we stand. Unless we're super drunk. Kiss my ass, reindeer.
ReplyDeleteBastard! Who does he think he is? Only thing he's good for is to be made into a Reindeer Hot Dog. Think I'll have a couple of those today.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to one and all.
ReplyDeleteLoose shingles on the roof? ALL YOUR FAULT, reindeer.
ReplyDeleteAnd what the fuck is up with your name? Ever heard of 'i before e' bitches? You're breaking the rules!!!!
I'm sure you don't need help finding pictures of jerk off animals, but in case you do this one is pretty awesome. http://www.zooborns.com/
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me L.O.L today of all days,when right about now I've had it up to here with all of it! ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd you just know they drink all the booze you left out for Santa.
ReplyDeleteThey can't really fly, they're just tripping off their Christmas balls.
this blog is amazing. thank you a thousand times, thank you.
ReplyDeleteWho does this reindeer think he is? Listen up antler head! Unless your name is Dasher or Dancer or one of those other 7 sleigh-haulers, you're a nobody! Just a fucking deer with an over-active ego. If I see you on the street you're venison, pal!
ReplyDeleteAnd don't think anybody wants to look at you just because you've got a nice rack.
Reindeer are just caribou who have been enslaved. It's that fat bastard who's constantly whipping them who is the real jolly ass clown.
ReplyDeleteWhere's my ipod, ass clown?
You lazy prick. You work one day a year? You're the bastard that shit down my chimney last year, aren't you? Don't give me that "who me" look. You knocked my Dish off too, asshole!
ReplyDeleteDamn you, you ungrateful little fuck.
ReplyDeleteThe North American equivalent of reindeer is caribou. Caribou live in Alaska. Alaska's governor is...
ReplyDeleteSee where I'm headed, meat?
"And don't think anybody wants to look at you just because you've got a nice rack."
ReplyDeleteThe one on my wall has nicer.
Yeah right. You don't want to be famous. Millions of adoring fans. Diving on groupy pussy like a mad bomber. Yeah, you're just like the rest of us. Tell it to your fucking coke dealer you arrogant prick.
ReplyDeletewhy are people trying to leave unwitty - mirrored comments about your blog? it's almost making me not enjoy the blog anymore due to the imitations.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, much appreciated and useful post, congrat and keep on track!
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