While there are some animals that just straight don't exist, the dik-dik is very real, only you can't see it except in photos. (Proof: Show me a dik-dik on the internet that isn't in a photograph.) This photo was taken of an out of focus tree, but when it was developed, there was a dik-dik right there, smiling in its little creepy adorable way. Trust me: you do not want a dik-dik to show up in your photos. Minutes after this photo was taken, both the man and the dog were killed in a freak accident involving a water ski, two pairs of wool mittens, and a lion (it was mostly because of the lion). Dik-dik's are doomed to this kind of work because they are really just a giant rip-off of an antelope with a little bit of anime thrown in to make them look really creepy in a Disney kind of way.
The best way to get rid of a dik-dik in any photo is to tell it to get lost. Personally, I like focusing on its lack of originality, e.g. HEY DIK-DIK IF I WANTED TO GET TERRIFIED BY WEIRD LOOKING PHOTOS, I WOULD JUST WATCH THE RING OR READ THE GOOSEBUMPS BOOK SAY CHEESE AND DIE. Don't try to get rid of them by looking at various pictures of them in cute poses for hours on end, or by thinking it's ridiculously cute that they are named after the sound they make when they are alarmed, because I've tried that already, and it doesn't work.
Bwa ha ha ha.... good to know that staring at their cuteness will not help. :)
ReplyDeleteBTW, thank you for not calling this adorable Disney thingy a Dick. I can always count on you to take the high road.
ReplyDeleteThat dik-dik better be careful or he might get shot by an even bigger dick-dick--Cheney.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure how to search your archive, but I will bet you gave the Harp Seal Pup a well deserved blistering entry that would shrivel flowers, right? You are my hero.
ReplyDeleteLove that name... Dik-dik..
ReplyDeleteUm...the dog in the photo you linked to has an erection.
ReplyDeleteThere's more than one dik-dik in that photo.
When you take a photo of a dik-dik, IT steals YOUR soul.
ReplyDeletethis emo-faux hawk-eyeliner-wearing-androgenous-son-of-a-bitch needs to get a job!
ReplyDeleteThe Ring gave me some pretty hectic nightmares. For about a year. And now, it's all coming flooding back. But this time, it's a dik-dik coming out of my TV.
ReplyDeleteMust. Not. Sleep.
I'd like to see that doe-eyed dik-dik take on a chevrotain. Vegas would call that fight at 10-1 I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteFucking mouse deer. Are you a deer or a mouse!? You can't have it both ways! Go on and get your cute little feet stuck in the coral rag terrain and listen to them snap like twigs.
And what's with the false eyelashes?
Holy shit! I knew there was something fishy about you, Dik-dik!
ReplyDeleteDo not show your adorable little face in any of my pictures. I mean it. Asshole.
What a lame small antelope. Maybe that dik-dik should grow up into an antelope liek all the other antelopes. Stop trying to be the Peter Pan of the antelope world.
ReplyDeleteAs if that thing exists outside of Area 51. Little black ops motherfucker.
ReplyDeleteNice fake eyelashes every time you leave the house.... who are you, Oprah???
ReplyDeleteIn the picture you link to, I'm pretty sure the Jack Russell's red rocket is out, which suggests that the dik-dik is actually seducing him. Also, I have seen one in person, at the Philadelphia Zoo, and they are even more terrifying/adorable than you can imagine. It's a miniature deer! I think I blacked out.
ReplyDeleteA dik-dik? No, just a DICK! Don't bat those eyelashes at me! no... no... OK, fine, we'll go see Nights in Rodanthe.
ReplyDeleteGoosebumps Say Cheese and Die! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteLMAO @ a little touch of anime. I was hoping to see a Pokemon reference in this one, lol.
ReplyDeleteAnimal that doesn't really exist: lemmings. Seriously. You only hear about them when you're really young, then they disappear from your life entirely. Ergo, it's all a lie.
ReplyDelete"Dik-dik's are doomed to this kind of work because they are really just a giant rip-off of an antelope with a little bit of anime thrown in to make them look really creepy in a Disney kind of way."
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Imagine one of those popping its head out from behind a tree when you were camping. It would immediately be just like the Blair Witch Project, but the dik-dik would be the witch herself. And next thing you know you're finding little bags of teeth everywhere
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysPQiF_kvX4
ReplyDeletethat is a dik-dik on the internet that is a youtube, not just a photo
And, omg, they think they're on some moral high ground! From Wikipedia
ReplyDelete"Dik-diks form monogamous relationships"
What do you want, a medal? Dik squared.
How do you know this dik-dik is not really an alien posing as a cute ruminant to lure in its victims? I mean just look at those freakish eyes in the linked picture. It's very suspicious I tell you!
ReplyDeleteCan't stop laughing!
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh out loud in class, awkward
ReplyDeleteI think I went out with her.
ReplyDeletesay cheese and die is my absolute favorite goosebumps book!!!!
ReplyDeleteHey dik-dik, I have something you can suk-suk.
ReplyDeleteOf it isn't real. What self respecting scientist would name something "dik-dik"? Like the Yeti, come on, it's a dead giveaway!
ReplyDeleteCute animals that stutter their names should not be allowed to be photos on the internet. Period.
ReplyDeleteAnd I see a hidden tinkerbell-esque quality in it's little (maybe a little TOO little?) adorable face. Hey dik-dik? TICK-TICK. Your 15 minutes are way past over!
someone beat you to it. I think that is a dead dik-dik in the photo with Little Red Rocket. Notice the stone used to prop up its head? I'd say that is a hunting trophy shot.
ReplyDelete;);)
ReplyDeleteMiserable nose job, dik-dik. What next, collagen lips?
ReplyDeleteDo what you will; your ass is NEVAH GONNA be on a runway, bitch.
We're done here. Tell it to the HOOF.
BULLSHIT!!
ReplyDeleteThat's a goddamned deer from the Neverland Ranch!! CLEARLY overdosed on plastic surgery provided by the King of Pop in an effort to cover up his own stupid mistakes. He figured that if everything had a fucked up looking nose then his nose wouldn't look nearly as bad.
I hear the elephant and giraffe have gone into hiding and are threatening lawsuits...
YiiHee!
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ReplyDeleteI think grisly is right. Also look at the eyes they don't look alive. That picture literally made me sad, not from cuteness. This pretty much makes the guy in the picture a dik-dik in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteThe dik-dik in the other photo with the man and dog is dead. One hopes the same fate will befall you, dik-dik. Dik-dik dead-dead. Tasty.
ReplyDeletegrisly is always right. Always. Dik-dik is dead.
ReplyDeleteHeh - saw one of these in a zoo once. They smell bad. End of story.
ReplyDeleteThe Goosebumps reference was, I want to say genius but it seems a tad over-exagerated.
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, quite original. And definately hysterical.
...Why does it need so many eyelashes?
ReplyDeleteThese creatures are hypnotic....I cannot stop staring at the damned ears!
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you Sesli sohbet for sharing! I'm in the midst of wedding planning, Camfrog 18 Odalar and both my fiance and I are NOT cake lovers, and can't imagine spending hundreds of dollars on one dessert we don't even like! Forum | Video | Site Map We're planning on doing a buffet of family recipes Sohbet Ruleti, Chat Ruleti pies, cookies, cheesecake, etc - and some of our favorite candies in apothecary jars :) I love to see that
ReplyDeleteothers are SesliSohbet, Sesli Sohbet thinking out of the [cake] box, too!
She the one that wanna ride hot whips, huh
ReplyDeleteSame one that ain't really got shit, huh
She want her hair done, then get her nails done
Go to Fifth Ave, just to shop for Shanell, huh
(She the one that ain't really got shit, huh
The little bitch that really ain't got tits, huh
Fuckin slut with a chest enhanced
Wouldn't dance if you ain't pay for her breasts implants)