Monday, March 16, 2009

Start fucking, Donkey


AHHHHHHGH. There is a long-haired donkey, and it's named the baudet de poitou? Ho. Lee. Shit. How can there only be 400 of you cute little fuckers!?! This is a serious problem, seeing as I personally need 400 of you. You better find a mate and start knocking boots, Donkey, so you can start sprouting up like American Apparels. I don't understand how you can be such prudes, seeing as you are French. What, are you saving yourself for the right donkey? YOU AREN'T WEARING A FUCKING PROMISE RING, ARE YOU DONKEY? BECAUSE I AM GOING TO BE SERIOUSLY UPSET. Anyway, stop being so picky, you're a donkey. This is serious business, Donkey. Make it happen.

64 comments:

  1. Someone needs a haircut!

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  2. Rasta Donkey Fari mon ... cha!

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  3. Maybe they're all gay or something....

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  4. I love that you need your own personal heard of 400 hairy donkeys. :) Bwa ha ha.... that makes me happy. Well, that and the fact that you are now a donkey sex advocate.

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  5. Those dreads are all ratty looking, Donkey. Maybe it's time to cut the locks and opt for a weave.

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  6. Love it...keep it coming buddy! (no homo)

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  7. Donkey, I thought we had an agreement. You make those stupid noises and i would just go on hating you. Then you had to pull this shit.

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  8. An Ass with dreadlocks?? No!

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  9. you are so ugly you were turned down for the donkey show

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  10. I think I see a dingleberry in that rat's nest of a haircut. Maybe time for a shave?

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  11. Looks like a damn mop.

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  12. Way to go Rasta Donkey,I heard you were broke so I didn't ask for the rest of the money on the messenger bag i sold you.No worries Mon.

    You said your back hurt.(?)Well,i don't see you wearing it OR my money.And you look pretty high right there,so i kinda know whats up.

    Peace out Donkey.

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  13. This is what happens when your species specific mating ritual is called the "donkey punch"...

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  14. ew his hair is so gross.

    if that donkey had sex with another donkey it would be like two huge mops going at it.

    yucky.

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  15. sounds like they need to have a heart to heart with the panda's

    sincerely,
    www.yourbabyisanasshole.com

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  16. Oh and yeah, Donkey? Say hello to your mother for me.

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  17. Who do you think you are, the Jason fucking Castro of donkeys? Yo seriously man you're hot. Go out and get it on. Start with the french girls, they're easy.

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  18. This is serious, Donkey. What’s it gonna take? Listen, put on some Barry White, open a nice bottle of Château Margaux, lay down a little fresh hay, and then FUCK DAMMIT!

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  19. Maybe she just feels like she's let herself go and wonders "who would want to tap this Ass??"...

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  20. Pass the donkey on the left hand side...

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  21. what happened to you donkey? you were so great in marky mark and the donkey bunch. boy, you've really let yourself go. well, say hello to your mutha for me.

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  22. No wonder there are only 400 of you. With that hair, how can you tell dick from dread?

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  23. AAAAAAAAAaaahahahahah

    it must be a promise bracelet, as they dont have fingers!

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  25. I just don't trust a European with dreads... even if he does have a donkey dick.

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  26. Donkey, do you get it? Extinct is as serious as it gets. Wake the f-up. Don't even think about telling us that you are on birth control!

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  27. "Maybe she just feels like she's let herself go and wonders "who would want to tap this Ass??"..."

    BEST. RESPONSE. EVER.

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  28. He got da natty dreads mon!

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  29. I just took my car through a brushless carwash, and now I know why there are only 400 of those fuckers left....

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  30. I just threw up into my mouth a little bit.

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  31. Sheesh, like I really needed another reason to hate the French.

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  32. This donkey's favorite singer/musician is Bob Marley

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  33. I believe the title for this entry should read:

    "Fuck, you donkey!"

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  34. This damn adorable donkey is just holding out for it's own stimulus package.

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  35. that is a donkey in a field of ponies...hope they enjoy the feeling

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  36. Rumor has it, Donkey has bunny ancestry.

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  37. I see long haired/ dreadlocked mules in our future.

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  38. How the HELL do you manage to be so original and so hilarious?! It's amazing. Seriously.

    And yes, I am also feeling the need for a bunch of dread donkeys--but I'll take only two and leave the other 398 for you, Oh Wise Fuck You Penguin Author, because that's how much I lurve you.

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  39. Dear Donkey,

    Cut your hair. Get a job. This economy isn't going to fix itself.


    Regards,
    Everyone

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  40. It's my long lost brother!!! How ya been bro?....wait, you haven't learned english.....HEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAW!!!!!

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  41. This is a dreadlock rasta dokey. He/she/it looks higher than a muthafucka.

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  42. I just died laughing. Fell over and died.

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  43. not as cute as the donkey, but close...
    http://beefandsage.com/2009/03/manbabies/

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  45. Put on some cologne, fluff up, find a girlie and FOOK my friend....we must have many of you in this world!

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  46. I was only recently introduced to this website and I have to say it is seriously funny. Out of all your rants, my personal fave is the french donkey.

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  47. I just came across the book in the store and now I'm addicted. This is probably my favorite one because of the French comment. I'm French and I'm definitely not a prude, so whats your F'ing excuse donkey?!

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  48. maybe if they'd wash and groom more often they'd procreate more. Who want's to have sex with a clip on their nose for prolonged periods of time. Take a shower Donkey, put some nice perfume on and VOILA! Sexy Times!

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    others are thinking out of the [cake] box, too!

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  50. Graham Cluley, omegle a researcher at security firm Sophos, told BBC News that Twitter needs seslinefes "much tighter control" over what users can put tirtikla in a tweet to prevent similar problems in the future.

    He also sesliklas warned users to seslidunya continue to be on their guard, as once superonlinesesli an exploit had been found seslimekan there would be a raft arifcorlu of hackers looking for new Xat ones or ways to circumvent the patch.

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  51. Yep, they are cute and sweet too....I have one!!! yep sure do...

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