British people (I know you're there) I need a favor. ADOPT THIS DOG RIGHT FUCKING NOW. This article depicts a cunning dog that is using sympathy to infiltrate my mind and make me sad. SAD, PEOPLE. I don't have time to be sad: I HAVE A BOOK COMING OUT.
The dog's name is E.T., which makes the whole thing worse because in the movie E.T. was just trying to get home and now this dog wants a home and if you people don't take this fucking dog out of that cage and bring it home and give it a biscuit I'm going to be VERY UPSET. Look at him. He's regal, people! Once he is adopted, he'll be just another dog. His power will be neutralized!
British people, we have done so much for you. Now is your time! Trust me, it was a huge hassle to cart all the money you were making off of the colonies back across the Atlantic. We did you a favor! I promise if one of you takes this dog, we can call it even. I don't even care what misguidedly cute things you do with it. You can dress it up in a medieval costume and paint portraits of it for all I care. Just, please, get it out of my sight.
Goddammit, dog! The very sight of you is burning holes through my retinas. You're like a sick hybrid of "101 Dalmatians" and the dead Taco Bell chihuahua.
ReplyDeleteGet a goddamn life.
oh dear, what happened to that dog!
ReplyDeleteI'm British but...I'm sorry, I don't want it.
ReplyDeleteIt appears to be a Chinese Crested...just another product of China gone horribly wrong...
ReplyDeleteOh, poor doggie... Someone give him a home! I bet he'd be the best, friendliest, most appreciative dog ever!
ReplyDeleteNo, I don't want it, you can't make me. Stupid Mexicans why do they think we'd want a hairless dog. Surely the fur is part of the dogs appeal.
ReplyDeleteThis dog has scarred me for life.
Was that dog born anywhere near Chernobyl? Will I get sick patting it? Man, what happened to it? It's like, genetically modified to be ugly assed!
ReplyDeleteThat dogs not doing the friggin Vulcan greeting is it? Get it the fuck away from me!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat dog is ugly.
ReplyDeleteYou should see my bosses attention whore kitten, if he rubs up my leg purring and licks at my toes one more time, so help me god....
are you sure it's even a dog?
ReplyDeleteIt just looks like an old man who spends too much time in the sun. Except with the head of a dog. Perhaps it's the ancient greek god of melanoma?
I think he's cute! But, who wants to pet a hairless dog? The idea of stroking that spotted skin kinda makes me wanna puke.
ReplyDeleteI don't know who I hate more...sad looking dogs or the heartless British who won't adopt them...
ReplyDeleteAre they liver spots? That means its bloody old and has no bowel or sphincter control! Its not pooping on my carpet! Be gone baldy!
ReplyDeleteOh poor dog!
ReplyDeletewhy is that giraffe stealing that dogs face?
ReplyDeleteseriously. put your own face back on and chances are you'll be adopted.
i wish i was british.
ReplyDeletejust for a day.
FUP writer, is this a fake picture or is there a kennel to actually get this dog at? I am German and I will reinvade those tea baggers to get to that dog! But seriously, how do we get the dog?
ReplyDeleteHello- aren't spots out of style? What respectable Brit would be caught dead walking an outdated dog?
ReplyDelete'We've done so much for you'...what you mean the Big Mac and 'The Hills'? Gee thanks...
ReplyDeleteI was all ready to get in the car and welcome him with open arms but fortunately my cat saw past his little game and promised me that if 'that thing' came within 100 miles of HIS house, he'd shit in my favourite pair of slippers every day for the next 12 months.
He's the master of tough love, my cat.
That's not a dog...
ReplyDelete...that's a panda bear with a severe case of the mange.
Don't let that motherfucker lick ya' whatever you do.
Man that dog is so awesome! I wish I lived there, I'd adopt it in a heartbeat!
ReplyDeleteThat's Vivienne Westwood.
ReplyDeleteThis one truly makes me feel bad.
ReplyDeleteDamn you, FUP, go back to cotton balls and dead stuffed ermine.
Aw, jeez. God damn it. Look at him. We can't all be supermodels. He's probably the best fucking friend you'll ever have in your whole damn life. He just wants to go home.
ReplyDeleteET phone home D:
ReplyDeleteI have one of these dogs!! He is the best dog i have ever had or met!!! Hairlessness RULES!
ReplyDeleteThe Mail Online?! And I thought you were cool man.
ReplyDeleteGive me a tiny break FU,P. Bad enough that I already live with THREE rescue dogs - now you post this! It will be fretful moment after fretful moment wondering if the F'in dog was adopted! BTW: Ugly is the new pretty.
ReplyDeleteLooks a bit giraffey...
ReplyDeleteThat may be the ugliest dog EVER! Good God.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what that is, but it is NOT a chinese crested. Chinese cresteds have long silky hair, not fur, on their heads but not their muzzle, nor on their body, not even a little as this one does. They have ears that stick up. They have a lean fine-boned physique similar to a whippet and are much much smaller than this dog is--part of the toy breed.
ReplyDeleteThis looks like a dog that has suffered some sort of skin disease.
I want this dog.
ReplyDeleteWARNING: DO NOT CLICK ON THIS PICTURE TO ENLARGE!!!
ReplyDeleteI saw titties and have been blinded. Looks like a possums head but I still think it is a Chinese Crested because of the spotted skin and the tail.
That's the most beautiful doggie I've ever seen. <3<3<3 I wish I could take him home.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so he's ...ummmm.."different"; has fur where he shouldn't and hasn't fur where he should...:D
ReplyDeleteI like this dog-alien, just don't know if my cat would...probably not.
Well but I'm not British, so I'm passing the buck XD
Well, I have to admit being a dumbass...I went to the site and it says in fairly big fucking letters that it is indeed a Mexican Hairless....can't get any clearer....I guess I was just blinded by the titties.
ReplyDeleteI would like to apologise to the Chinese but, hey, the dog probably got especially ugly eating the tainted Chinese dog food.
I woke up this morning to some chinese porn spam comments on my site.
ReplyDeleteLukily, my daughter was up and told me what it was. I was all into translating when she pointed out it was all links...sex...oh my
My daughter said I should feel very proud that a shitty little blog like mine got "hit".... so FUCK YOU CHINESE PORN SPAMER...and thanks...I think.
He's been adopted! Yay. :)
ReplyDeleteAre those liver spots?
ReplyDeletewhere are all the new posts? Have not seen anythign since 11/09?
ReplyDelete