Thursday, August 20, 2009

A very special Thursday note


Good Thursday, people. I'm sure you are all wondering why you are hearing from Fuck You, Penguin today, so let me explain and calm your beating heart. I've been getting some pushback on shameless self-promotion week, with a number of people wondering just how necessary it is since I've basically cornered the market on books about cursing at animals at this point and I'm in perfect position to eventually become the required summer reading in between tenth and eleventh grade at high schools nationwide. So I just wanted to address the concerns. First of all, while some people have expressed mild skepticism, I have also gotten an enormous positive response that has gone largely untold in the cute-focused media. Here is just one randomly selected email out of the literally HUNDREDS I send myself EVERY DAY praising the shameless self-promotion week:

Dear FU, Penguin,

Holy shit! We're loving the shameless self-promotion week over here! If you keep selling this book so well, we are all going to be filthy rich! WE WILL LITERALLY HAVE TO SHIELD OURSELVES FROM ALL THE LOSERS WHO DO NOT HAVE MONEY!!!!!

Love,

Your Corporate Overlords

See? By all accounts, this has been a crushing success. Second, and most important, I hope you all realize that shameless self-promotion week is for you people! It has always been about you people. You see, I just named it shameless self-promotion week in order to avoid patting myself on the back for doing such a selfless thing for you. You are all very welcome, and don't worry about it if you didn't see at first how nice I was being. I didn't see it at first either.

This very special Thursday edition of Fuck You, Penguin has been brought to you without commercial interruptions by FU, Penguin. "FU, Penguin: You've Only Bought One Copy?"

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20 comments:

  1. The Cool CookieAugust 20, 2009 at 5:53 AM

    Sell, Sell, Sell that book you shameless capitalist! Take no prisoners, take no shit! 100% behind you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello NakaAugust 20, 2009 at 6:33 AM

    go FU Penguin whoop whoop :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. JoolzGirlAugust 20, 2009 at 6:48 AM

    Shameless self promotion - its the rules. Its what the week is called for pete's sake. Hey, them's the rules, if you don't follow the rules, it all goes to hell in a handbasket. Go you good thing. I'll be so disappointed if you're not an overnight zillionaire. Oh, and I'd also like to say "RULES" just one more time.

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  4. UnknownAugust 20, 2009 at 7:01 AM

    ok, I'm convinced. I'm gonna buy your book now. Good job.

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownAugust 20, 2009 at 7:01 AM

    I don't suppose you'd consider sending me an autographed copy? Today is my 65th birthday.

    ReplyDelete
  6. DrunkBunnyAugust 20, 2009 at 7:03 AM

    People are complaining? What a bunch of whiners! I, for one, appreciated the reminders about the book, for television and pot smoking has reduced my attention span to that of a 2 year old in a room of bright, shiny objects. I pre-ordered my book yesterday and I can't wait! I not only intend on reading it for entertainment purposes, but I hope to pick up new and exciting ways to gripe out my cat, who is not a good cat at all.

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  7. AnonymousAugust 20, 2009 at 7:19 AM

    this doesn't explain why that lowland gorilla is so fat. Doesn't he know he's at increased risk of diabetes, heart disease and gastro-intestinal cancers? He's not going to live long enough to finish reading the book

    ReplyDelete
  8. dpasteAugust 20, 2009 at 8:47 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. dpasteAugust 20, 2009 at 8:48 AM

    If it weren't for shameless self-promotion, I'd still be a virgin, so I'm all for it.

    Looking forward to the book.

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  10. UlyanaAugust 20, 2009 at 8:56 AM

    Good save! I'll admit, I was one of those people who wanted the usual posts back, but now my eyes have been opened!

    ReplyDelete
  11. hiphophippie.comAugust 20, 2009 at 9:37 AM

    I'm all for it and have been inspired to follow your lead. I don't have a book so I'm just going around telling people how great I am. It's going swimmingly. Two cheers for shameless self-promotion week!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Annie LandryAugust 20, 2009 at 11:32 AM

    Dear FU Peguin,

    FU FU Peguin! I'm going to be broke from mass purchasing of your book, I'm going to break my ankles tripping over the mountains of copies in my house AND my cat Caramel (FU Caramel btw) will be cuter then ever surrounded by cute animal literature... THEN I'll be broker then ever from not being able to resist giving him extra treats. Thanks for ruining my life.

    I hate you,
    Banana

    PS FU again FU Penguin!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hedgehogs Running AmokAugust 20, 2009 at 1:10 PM

    Your awesomeness scares me. Please keep it up! Congratulations.

    BTW, my capcha is sellable, is that a sign from the universe or what?

    ReplyDelete
  14. HollyAugust 20, 2009 at 5:39 PM

    The average lowland gorilla penis is 1" long.

    That's something to say 'FU' about.

    ReplyDelete
  15. GrubermeisterAugust 20, 2009 at 9:10 PM

    Well said FUP! If people don't stop whining, you should start another site called fuckyouungratefulbastards.com. I'd buy that book too.

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  16. AnonymousAugust 21, 2009 at 3:20 AM

    LOL! Shameless Fucking Self Promotion... Just love it.

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  17. SidAugust 21, 2009 at 4:15 AM

    Actually this self promotion thing has worked pretty well for you. Going to look for your book right this minute!

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  18. ShastaAugust 21, 2009 at 6:03 AM

    Dood, it's your blog, so you can self-promote the hell out of your book all you want. Haters can suck it.

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  19. Entrepreneur ChickAugust 24, 2009 at 12:43 PM

    Good lord. And I thought I was shameless promoter! Well done!
    (Uh, I follow my own damn blog.)

    ReplyDelete
  20. ibrahimMay 11, 2010 at 10:08 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete

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