Monday, December 15, 2008

This beaver is clearly up to something



I can tell you have some kind of grand scheme up your sleeve, Beaver, or you would if you were wearing a shirt (if you put on a goddamn shirt, I'm going to fucking go apeshit on you). I haven't figured out what it is you're planning yet, but beavers don't just go around tapping their fingers together like an evil genius for no reason. Look, I know you are jealous that we make way better dams than you guys, but that's no reason to plot for our complete and total annihilation. I'm not quite sure yet how to react, but I've got my eye on you, Beaver...

Also, your tail is showing.

37 comments:

H-Squared said...

Yeah, put that away, man. No one needs to see that.

MISS B said...

I just pee'd my pants. Tahnk you.

Brandon said...

Please take this little cross-legged fucker out.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/suzanneandsimon/2075822617/

H. said...

I'm sorry, but that beaver looks like a steamroller ran over his crank.

Bon Archer said...

Actually their dams are far superior to ours, being environmentally sound. The little rodents live in the lodges to boot. The largest on record was over a mile long.

Impressive bastards.

SouthernBelle said...

I just discovered this blog - you are a comic genius!

Unknown said...

Sure. You can keep your eye on that beaver, but look at him, he's clearly already six steps ahead of you. I don't know what you did to piss that rodent off, but I'm glad I'm not in your shoes right now.

Alexandra Erin said...

"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Beaver when death is on the line!"

Anonymous said...

this is, quite possibly, the funniest blog I have ever read. thanks for the belly laughs. It's been bookmarked.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

That tail. Goodness!

In high school I had to do a report on an animal. I chose beaver. Try googling "beaver" on your school computer.

Akubi said...

Fuck you!
We are in a new post-beaver-era where stupid cunts aren't clueless and masochistic enough to pay money for Brazilians any longer.
Fuck bush - throw a fucking beaver in his face. Asshole

Anonymous said...

Damn that beaver.

Gabz A Lot said...

Alexandra,
OMG! That's fucking amazing! I'm saving that quote. And I love that movie!

Kensington said...

Oh, honest to God, FUCK YOU, BEAVER! Who the fuck do you think you're kidding?

Also? Nice webbed feet, douchebag.

chelsea rose said...

my new favorite blog.

really, i'm not kidding.

Unknown said...

that beaver looks like this squirrel: http://tinyurl.com/3fwqb2

Unknown said...

That's hilarious. The beaver is my school mascot.

Cassaundra said...

in the grand scheme of things, beavers are the one we should fear (not god).

damn you, beaver.
you evil genius.

Wardin said...

Alexandra Erin: Inconceivable!

By the way the I remember seeing this exact fuckin beaver on "The Angry Beavers"! How old do those damn builders live? See what I did there? : )

remy said...

I just found this blog. My eyes are swollen from crying from laughing so hard.

You rock Fuck You, Penguin.

Flidais said...

I can't stop laughing. Thanks for the great ab workout!

BSG said...

It's hard to dismiss so cavalierly an animal that pretended to be playing with sticks in the water like a retarded homo sapiens (or genius homo erectus) even as he maneuvered successfully to have a human body part named after it -- and the most sacred body part of them all, at that.

Look, I'm all for humbling the right animals -- which would be most of them -- but we HAVE to give the beaver props where due.

Unknown said...

somebody tell the beaver that a car ran over his dick. I dont think he has figured it out yet with all the deadlines he has.

N1K said...

True we build better dams than beavers... But they do it with their teeth! I love beaver. Nothing like a nice beaver around your head to keep your ears warm.

The UXPX said...

That picture is of a beaver lodge, not a beaver dam.

Recovery said...

If that snarky motherfucker put on some glasses and had a pipe, hed look like a detective's assistant, which is all he ever could be, because he sure as fuck isnt smart enough to be the head detective. Not with gay buckteeth like that.

Recovery said...

and stuff

Anonymous said...

I think they started with the 'tude when they saw Leslie Nielson compliment Priscilla Presley on her stuffed beaver in one of the Naked Gun movies.

One mention and it goes to their little fucking buckteeth heads. That was 25 years ago. Get the hell over it!

Lauren Celestia said...

i think the beaver is my favorite.

Unknown said...

Just to be anal, that picture is a beaver lodge, not a dam...
Damn beavers, with their big floppy tails...

Ch said...

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Aidan said...

This beaver looks like Timothy Spall.

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