Tortoises always want someone else to do their dirty work

Are you fucking kidding me, Tortoise? You are so lazy you can't get up and go see what's going on over there? You don't think someone else is going to take pity on you and just tell you what it is, do you? Because it sure as shit isn't going be this guy. And you know, Tortoise, just because you are like three thousand years old doesn't mean you shouldn't use some lotion once in a while. That neck looks like a petrified tree trunk, and not in a good way. MOISTURIZE, TORTOISE.