You know, there was once an ugly duckling who got picked on all of the time by the other ducks, who couldn't understand why the duckling was so ugly. But then it turned out that duckling wasn't really a duck at all, but was in fact a TOTAL FUCKING DICK.
Take this world-class douche, for example. Everyone is just hanging out, having a good time, and Mr. "My wingspan is bigger than yours" decides to unload on the scene. Even his swan friend is embarrassed. He probably does it all the fucking time because let's be honest: that's just what swans do. Me personally, I wouldn't be caught dead with a fucking swan.
That is BRILLIANT. Fucking BRILLIANT.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI've fucking had it with swans.
ReplyDeleteTotal Porsche drivers. They probably have special swimming gloves that they wear and will cut you off in the middle of a lake for no reason.
ReplyDeleteHey, if I had a wingspan like that, I'd show it off too...
ReplyDeleteDude, they totally suck dick!
ReplyDeleteWe should try to promote the regular consumption of swan. I like animals that fill my stomach.
ReplyDeleteIn my youth I was friends with a swan. I cringe to think of it now. But I was young and drunk.
ReplyDeletei just found your blog yesterday and i fucking love it.
ReplyDeleteseriously, this is genius.
fuck swans.
I think...I love you! No, I do, I DO LOVE YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteDude, you're fucking amazing! My friend just showed me this blog like 2 days ago and I'm already hooked.
ReplyDeleteAnd fuck swans and everything they stand for!
yeah, i feel ya on the swan thing. i question their motives too.
ReplyDeleteSwans can bite me.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is fucking awesome.
I hate to admit it but swans can realy bring it when you want to get laid.
ReplyDelete"Honey", and "Mustard"... You must be kidding you mustachioed Prick. Those two flavors do not even belong on the SAME SALAD! Catch me with some Worchestershire and some A1, you bodyless Punk, and we will see who has the biggest bottle. Dont make me get Heinz into this... If Kikkoman shows up, please tell that terrifying 300 year old ninja sauce that I have absolutely no beef with him. None. But the Honey-mustard thing.. ohh. it is on and its deadly.
ReplyDeleteRightOnn!
ReplyDeleteWas I the only one who read the last line as "Me personally, I wouldn't be caught dead fucking with a swan."
swans are pure fucking evil. I have seen them attack children and small dogs. Stay the fuck out of their way.
ReplyDeleteMost of the problems in our world today can be traced back to swans.
ReplyDeleteHigh gas prices, unemployment, global warming, you name it. Bastards.
love...you
ReplyDeletehate...swans
Ah, foo. You folks just don't Get It.
ReplyDeleteSwans may be Porsche Drivers, but Geese are the Cadillac drivers, and, as Niven and Pournelle state in Inferno, "Cadillacs belong in Hell".
I will take a pair of Swans over a flock of @%#$%#%$^$%& Geese any day, and the Geese are one hell of a lot uglier.
> Dude, they totally suck dick!
Yeah, I wanna see you try and stick your dick into a swan's mouth....
Can I videotape it? I am certain I will be able to take credit for crashing YouTube.
:oD