Monday, December 15, 2008

This beaver is clearly up to something



I can tell you have some kind of grand scheme up your sleeve, Beaver, or you would if you were wearing a shirt (if you put on a goddamn shirt, I'm going to fucking go apeshit on you). I haven't figured out what it is you're planning yet, but beavers don't just go around tapping their fingers together like an evil genius for no reason. Look, I know you are jealous that we make way better dams than you guys, but that's no reason to plot for our complete and total annihilation. I'm not quite sure yet how to react, but I've got my eye on you, Beaver...

Also, your tail is showing.
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36 comments:

  1. H-SquaredDecember 15, 2008 at 11:45 AM

    Yeah, put that away, man. No one needs to see that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MISS BDecember 15, 2008 at 12:13 PM

    I just pee'd my pants. Tahnk you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. BrandonDecember 15, 2008 at 12:54 PM

    Please take this little cross-legged fucker out.
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/suzanneandsimon/2075822617/

    ReplyDelete
  4. H.December 15, 2008 at 1:18 PM

    I'm sorry, but that beaver looks like a steamroller ran over his crank.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bon ArcherDecember 15, 2008 at 1:36 PM

    Actually their dams are far superior to ours, being environmentally sound. The little rodents live in the lodges to boot. The largest on record was over a mile long.

    Impressive bastards.

    ReplyDelete
  6. SouthernBelleDecember 15, 2008 at 1:44 PM

    I just discovered this blog - you are a comic genius!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousDecember 15, 2008 at 2:27 PM

    Sure. You can keep your eye on that beaver, but look at him, he's clearly already six steps ahead of you. I don't know what you did to piss that rodent off, but I'm glad I'm not in your shoes right now.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Alexandra ErinDecember 15, 2008 at 5:28 PM

    "You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Beaver when death is on the line!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousDecember 15, 2008 at 5:32 PM

    this is, quite possibly, the funniest blog I have ever read. thanks for the belly laughs. It's been bookmarked.

    ReplyDelete
  10. HorribleLicensePlatesDecember 15, 2008 at 5:47 PM

    That tail. Goodness!

    In high school I had to do a report on an animal. I chose beaver. Try googling "beaver" on your school computer.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AkubiDecember 15, 2008 at 7:21 PM

    Fuck you!
    We are in a new post-beaver-era where stupid cunts aren't clueless and masochistic enough to pay money for Brazilians any longer.
    Fuck bush - throw a fucking beaver in his face. Asshole

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousDecember 15, 2008 at 7:34 PM

    Damn that beaver.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Gabz A LotDecember 15, 2008 at 8:19 PM

    Alexandra,
    OMG! That's fucking amazing! I'm saving that quote. And I love that movie!

    ReplyDelete
  14. KensingtonDecember 15, 2008 at 9:01 PM

    Oh, honest to God, FUCK YOU, BEAVER! Who the fuck do you think you're kidding?

    Also? Nice webbed feet, douchebag.

    ReplyDelete
  15. chelsea roseDecember 15, 2008 at 10:56 PM

    my new favorite blog.

    really, i'm not kidding.

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownDecember 16, 2008 at 7:22 AM

    that beaver looks like this squirrel: http://tinyurl.com/3fwqb2

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousDecember 16, 2008 at 8:04 AM

    That's hilarious. The beaver is my school mascot.

    ReplyDelete
  18. CassaundraDecember 16, 2008 at 8:40 AM

    in the grand scheme of things, beavers are the one we should fear (not god).

    damn you, beaver.
    you evil genius.

    ReplyDelete
  19. WardinDecember 16, 2008 at 9:44 AM

    Alexandra Erin: Inconceivable!

    By the way the I remember seeing this exact fuckin beaver on "The Angry Beavers"! How old do those damn builders live? See what I did there? : )

    ReplyDelete
  20. remyDecember 16, 2008 at 7:26 PM

    I just found this blog. My eyes are swollen from crying from laughing so hard.

    You rock Fuck You, Penguin.

    ReplyDelete
  21. FlidaisDecember 17, 2008 at 6:53 AM

    I can't stop laughing. Thanks for the great ab workout!

    ReplyDelete
  22. BSGDecember 18, 2008 at 10:33 AM

    It's hard to dismiss so cavalierly an animal that pretended to be playing with sticks in the water like a retarded homo sapiens (or genius homo erectus) even as he maneuvered successfully to have a human body part named after it -- and the most sacred body part of them all, at that.

    Look, I'm all for humbling the right animals -- which would be most of them -- but we HAVE to give the beaver props where due.

    ReplyDelete
  23. UnknownDecember 18, 2008 at 2:07 PM

    somebody tell the beaver that a car ran over his dick. I dont think he has figured it out yet with all the deadlines he has.

    ReplyDelete
  24. N1KDecember 19, 2008 at 7:57 AM

    True we build better dams than beavers... But they do it with their teeth! I love beaver. Nothing like a nice beaver around your head to keep your ears warm.

    ReplyDelete
  25. The UXPXDecember 19, 2008 at 9:21 PM

    That picture is of a beaver lodge, not a beaver dam.

    ReplyDelete
  26. RecoveryDecember 23, 2008 at 5:31 AM

    If that snarky motherfucker put on some glasses and had a pipe, hed look like a detective's assistant, which is all he ever could be, because he sure as fuck isnt smart enough to be the head detective. Not with gay buckteeth like that.

    ReplyDelete
  27. RecoveryDecember 23, 2008 at 5:38 AM

    and stuff

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousDecember 26, 2008 at 11:18 AM

    I think they started with the 'tude when they saw Leslie Nielson compliment Priscilla Presley on her stuffed beaver in one of the Naked Gun movies.

    One mention and it goes to their little fucking buckteeth heads. That was 25 years ago. Get the hell over it!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Lauren CelestiaDecember 31, 2008 at 10:09 AM

    i think the beaver is my favorite.

    ReplyDelete
  30. UnknownJanuary 7, 2009 at 6:28 PM

    Just to be anal, that picture is a beaver lodge, not a dam...
    Damn beavers, with their big floppy tails...

    ReplyDelete
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    Love
    Ch.
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    ReplyDelete
  32. AidanAugust 25, 2009 at 4:44 AM

    This beaver looks like Timothy Spall.

    ReplyDelete
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