Friday, January 9, 2009

Act quickly, Tiger

>>INTERSPECIES WEEK<<
The cunning, evil piglets run to the tiger, smothering her with their small hooves and short snouts. Made weak by the cuteness of the piglets (and undoubtedly aware of the fact that she is only making the situation worse by being in the picture herself), she reaches out her paw, licking her lips, grasping for an errant piglet she can stuff in her mouth. That would really ruin the moment, she thinks to herself, desperate for some way - any way - out of this moment of terrifying cross-species affection. But alas, the piglet turns, just out of the desperate tiger's reach. And as the piglets climb towards the tiger's belly and begin playing with her tail, her moment has passed. All is lost. Fuck you, Piglets..., the tiger thinks to herself, just as she loses consciousness.
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40 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2009 at 7:03 AM

    Haha, this is just too cute!

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  2. Will NiccollsJanuary 9, 2009 at 7:16 AM

    Oh hell no. You think I'm not having an extra helping of bacon tomorrow morning because of this?? Oh make that two extra slices please.

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  3. UnknownJanuary 9, 2009 at 7:22 AM

    oink oink...so cute! im adding you to my blog roll - this is great entertainment!

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  4. AeroentropyJanuary 9, 2009 at 7:23 AM

    You are so twisted. I love it.

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  5. DanielleJanuary 9, 2009 at 7:25 AM

    Look out, Tiger, I think they might be zombie pigs. That one is sniffing your brain to see if it is still fresh!

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  6. UnknownJanuary 9, 2009 at 7:26 AM

    Fucking piglets!
    They totally drugged that poor tiger and then ATE IT.
    Piglets are fucking cunning little killers.
    Do you know where your children are?
    Hopefully, not with a piglet...

    ReplyDelete
  7. roseJanuary 9, 2009 at 7:26 AM

    the tiger has just converted to Judaism, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't still yearn for the taste of bacon.
    fucking tasty piglets. taunting him when they know that he's just trying to be kosher.

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  8. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2009 at 7:28 AM

    You know, all this negativity with these inter-species and what not, if only we can learn to interact like them, maybe the world would be a better place...

    but no, we must suffer watching their adorableness through the glowing monitors, curse you cute animals, curse yooou!!

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  9. Joan of Argghh!January 9, 2009 at 7:55 AM

    "Fuck you, piglets. Get in mah belleh! I already gave Peace a chance! You know what it tasted like? Dog Chow. Screw that!"

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  10. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2009 at 8:33 AM

    Poor Helpless Tiger.

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  11. MattJanuary 9, 2009 at 8:47 AM

    that tiger is in a piglet induced coma. out cold w/ any kind of animal prancing on you is just humiliating. that it is potential breakfast just inches away is disheartening, at best. i hope he wakes up. alas, he is reduced to pig fodder. sadness.

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  12. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2009 at 8:49 AM

    You are so not a pet blog.

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  13. wombatJanuary 9, 2009 at 9:02 AM

    the pinkness. oh god, the pinkness.

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  14. ColleenJanuary 9, 2009 at 9:24 AM

    It's not the first time Tigers and Piglets have gotten together for some evil cuteness...

    http://www.google.com/images?q=tbn:Wql7vDhDUDhIbM::i261.photobucket.com/albums

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  15. DHJanuary 9, 2009 at 9:48 AM

    "Oh my God," Pooh thought to himself. "Piglet's relatives are wearing poor Tigger out...he has no bounce left. Whatever shall I do? Think. Think. Think. Hmmm...I wonder if there's any hunny in the cabinet...."

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  16. dotcommieJanuary 9, 2009 at 9:49 AM

    I think these pigs need a pop'n

    http://tinyurl.com/5mgk6z

    (iPhone game where you explode pigs)

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  17. Jenny DeMiloJanuary 9, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    The cuteness... its hurting my eyes!!!

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  18. Your baby is an assholeJanuary 9, 2009 at 10:11 AM

    im disappointed with this one.....someone didn't have their coffee this morning

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  19. Jay, aka The Angry Little ManJanuary 9, 2009 at 10:52 AM

    Has no one read ANIMAL FARM?!

    fucking piglets are here to take over the WORLD!!!

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  20. Kennedy SmithJanuary 9, 2009 at 10:56 AM

    I'm so gonna miss Interspecies Week. Can we make it like Shark Week or Bond Week, and bring it back every couple of months?

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  21. DavidJanuary 9, 2009 at 12:28 PM

    That tiger knows exactly what he is doing. Lull them into a sens of security and then BOOM all you can eat McRib sandwiches.

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  22. JoshJanuary 9, 2009 at 12:36 PM

    The tigers are our animal brethren. We seek justice.

    http://gofuckyourselvesbabies.blogspot.com/

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  23. Becca DuJanuary 9, 2009 at 12:38 PM

    I knew the tiger would never make it, good job Piggies!

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  24. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2009 at 1:30 PM

    hey, the penguins are pissed. and they have begun approaching small children ...

    http://fromlaurelstreet.wordpress.com/2009/01/09/what-is-that-penguin-saying-to-that-child/

    ReplyDelete
  25. scooterJanuary 9, 2009 at 2:28 PM

    It's about time somebody did a blog like this. They sent me over as a flying monkey from Rumproast.

    Great blog, you have my vote.

    Can you do something with a PUMA, and maybe swarming fire ants, or a crocodile or something?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Lodo GrdzakJanuary 9, 2009 at 3:52 PM

    That tiger nose is so sensitive he's already got the taste on his tongue. "Just leave your body Tiger. Leave your body."

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  27. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2009 at 8:29 PM

    i'm a bit late in the game as i just found out about this site yesterday, but it's pretty brilliant. in fact, it reminds me of mitch hedberg (rip you fantastic genius) if he'd covered the subject of cute little furry fucks.

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  28. TechnogeekboyJanuary 9, 2009 at 9:20 PM

    Just out of the shot, the tiger's friends are slowly dying inside, knowing that from this moment forward they will be known as "The Pathetic Sissies of the Jungle."

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  29. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2009 at 10:04 PM

    These young lords of the flies
    stare into the enemies eyes
    then only after proper snorting,
    squealing, grunting and cavorting
    the children of the magic sties
    titter as the tiger dies.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Dughallmor BeaglesJanuary 10, 2009 at 4:08 AM

    Newfie pup is still my favourite, straight in there with the hate...no messing, but this is a close second, I need a bacon sarnie now....but...
    Oww....cheeks...hurting...eyes...watering....sides...aching....just ..about...lost ...consciousn...

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  31. AnonymousJanuary 10, 2009 at 4:54 AM

    Keep your friends close, and your edibles closer. The tiger will awake and have at it!

    ReplyDelete
  32. AlexJanuary 10, 2009 at 1:08 PM

    I hope you don't take this wrong - your site is funny and all - but that quote you linked to ("There is no pet and the author seems to hate animals") is even funnier.

    PET? THERE IS NO PET.

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  33. WeaverJanuary 10, 2009 at 4:24 PM

    Just cause you monkeys aren't cute - jealous bastards

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  34. Your baby is an assholeJanuary 10, 2009 at 4:31 PM

    i need a new post LIKE NOW

    ReplyDelete
  35. Madam MiaowJanuary 10, 2009 at 5:13 PM

    Ha! You are hilarious. Just voted for you. Again.

    ReplyDelete
  36. MothermavenJanuary 10, 2009 at 6:57 PM

    May you be triumphant clinching the shiny blog award you were nominated for. May other blogs be devoured like the little piglets will be certainly devoured in this photo. They think they are safe. Bwahahaha! It is wild kingdom, kiddies.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Donna G.January 11, 2009 at 12:28 AM

    I found you because I was voting for CuteOverload for Best Pet Blog ... I love that site ... but your site is just fucking hilarious. It's more my sense of humor. I think I'm leaning toward your site for my daily voting. I just read all of your blogs ... thank God it started just last October so I could read back to the inaugural post! I LOVE THIS SITE. Keep it up. :)

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  38. Fat TonyJanuary 12, 2009 at 3:43 PM

    I think I saw a show on animal planet about htese rare Jewish tigers. The pork isn't kosher therefore.....Piggies attack!!!

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  39. tea_pleaseJanuary 13, 2009 at 7:39 AM

    This is what happens when animals meant to be in the wild are kept by humans. The tiger has only eaten Purina Tiger Chow and has no idea how tasty ham can be.

    Sick.

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  40. TomJanuary 14, 2009 at 6:55 AM

    What's worse than dogs wearing jackets---It's piglets wearing tiger-striped jackets around a Tiger.

    Check out the video of "pigs-in-a-blanket"

    lovableanimals.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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