Thursday, January 8, 2009

This snake has zero game

>>INTERSPECIES WEEK<<

So this snake was supposed to eat this hamster, but supposedly it decided that the hamster was just too wonderful to eat and now they hang out and stuff. People think this is a metaphor for world peace.

Personally, I'm not impressed. I think the snake waited too long to eat the hampster because there were people watching, and now it's stuck in the friend zone. All they do is hang out and watch TV, and every time the snake says "Hey, wouldn't it be weird if I ate you?" the hamster is like "Haha, you're so funny" and changes the subject. So fuck you, Snake, for making people think world peace is achievable, when all you need to do is grow some balls.
at

64 comments:

  1. Joan of Argghh!January 8, 2009 at 7:28 AM

    Fuck the snake! He looks to be in a molt, shedding his skin.

    He's got priorities, dammit!

    But just you wait until he's all shiny and spanky-new, you Hamster. No "Peace on Earth" shit. Just a bit of Silent Night, stupid rat.

    ReplyDelete
  2. jezebelJanuary 8, 2009 at 7:30 AM

    marry me.

    it'll be a short marriage; i'll die laughing and you'll get my riches.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Will NiccollsJanuary 8, 2009 at 7:34 AM

    Snake, ya gots to step ya game up!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Marquis MarcJanuary 8, 2009 at 7:34 AM

    my brother-in-law didn't eat his meal (rat) once. they were buddies for a month or so, but the snake finally got hungry and that was the end of a very ugly albino rat with big gross pink testicles. burp.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Marquis MarcJanuary 8, 2009 at 7:35 AM

    a thousand pardons! my brother-in-law's SNAKE. not my brother-in-law himself. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2009 at 7:42 AM

    This blog is evil! Please visit http://animalsneedkisses.wordpress.com/ to read some sensible, kind things about animals instead of this horror and monstrosity! :'(

    ReplyDelete
  7. kingstreetfarmJanuary 8, 2009 at 7:44 AM

    STFU ConcernedCitizen, and grow a sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dr.SaltJanuary 8, 2009 at 7:44 AM

    If this blog is evil I don't want to be good.

    ReplyDelete
  9. MeghanJanuary 8, 2009 at 7:47 AM

    I'm not gonna lie, that hamster is damn cute. I wouldn't be able to eat it either...

    ReplyDelete
  10. DHJanuary 8, 2009 at 7:58 AM

    Or, as Barbara Mandrell should have sung...

    "If lovin' you is wrong, I don't want to be rep(-tile)..."

    ReplyDelete
  11. wombatJanuary 8, 2009 at 8:03 AM

    Snake, I've known a lot of snakes and you know what? You suck as a snake. Just plain suck. You should be ashamed of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  12. DerekSmallsJanuary 8, 2009 at 8:15 AM

    I ate snake once in China. It tastes like chicken. Snake is an chicken impostor. SO Fuck You Snake, you could have tasted like snake but instead you decided to be an original bastard.
    http://comewhinewithme.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  13. MermandaJanuary 8, 2009 at 8:36 AM

    Grow some balls, you freaking snake bastard!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Carole SharplessJanuary 8, 2009 at 8:37 AM

    OMG. I seriously need to invest in Depends. Every time I read your blog I always pee my pants laughing. Now I have ruined chairs. Nice...

    You are consistently brilliant.

    Not every professional athlete has a stick up their ass. This is GREAT stuff. Keep it up.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2009 at 9:01 AM

    Good snake for not eating the hamster... :-)
    That hamster is just waaay too cute.

    ReplyDelete
  16. DanielleJanuary 8, 2009 at 9:03 AM

    That hamster is clearly evil and deserving of being eaten too. I mean he is trying to stare into my soul. Snake needs to take care of that business!

    ReplyDelete
  17. BrookeJanuary 8, 2009 at 9:09 AM

    Wouldn't it be funny if the hamster ate the snake? Then who'd be laughing? Hamsters can't laugh, so probably just me.

    ReplyDelete
  18. ACEJanuary 8, 2009 at 9:29 AM

    Also the snake is blind I think.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dr. MabuseJanuary 8, 2009 at 9:34 AM

    Aren't snakes supposed to hypnotize their victims before they strike? I think this snake has met a Svengali hamster, with stronger powers, and now HE is hypnotized.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Your baby is an assholeJanuary 8, 2009 at 10:09 AM

    if he's not eating you...then he's just not that into you

    ReplyDelete
  21. DarkheathJanuary 8, 2009 at 10:49 AM

    Ah... the evil "friend-zone". Just type "Friend-Zone" into your GPS and odds are it will lead you to me. :-p

    ReplyDelete
  22. UnknownJanuary 8, 2009 at 11:17 AM

    Hamster to cute to eat? Are you kidding me??? He looks freaking delicious!

    ReplyDelete
  23. JediJeffJanuary 8, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    He could probably grow balls, if he didn't slither on the ground rubbing them off every day. I suggest growing legs first, then work on the nuts.

    ReplyDelete
  24. TrishJanuary 8, 2009 at 11:47 AM

    Honestly, Concerned Citizen, where did you find that silly site? Talk about evil. I went there, and learned way too much about kissing animals.
    I am not sure, but I think I actually liked it.

    ReplyDelete
  25. roseJanuary 8, 2009 at 11:59 AM

    i think the snake is just to lazy to unhinge his jaw for that fat fuzzy bastard of a hamster. he doesn't want a fatty meal.
    hamster, get on your wheel and shed some pounds so the snake can have a nice lean cut of meat for dinner.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Dughallmor BeaglesJanuary 8, 2009 at 12:18 PM

    OMFG....friend zone....too funny!
    Can't live without this blog now and i'm telling everyone!
    Linked to it on my blog and facebook!

    ReplyDelete
  27. AeroentropyJanuary 8, 2009 at 12:23 PM

    What Joan said at the beginning. When that molt is done and those caps off his eyes, mr Hammy is toast!

    ReplyDelete
  28. UnknownJanuary 8, 2009 at 12:27 PM

    Stupid "no game" snake! just goes to prove if you want something done right...you gotta do it yourself.. now if you'll excuse me, I've got a hamster to eat

    ReplyDelete
  29. EduardoJanuary 8, 2009 at 12:50 PM

    I love this blog, bashing animals for their cuteness, it's so funny, so bad, yet so oh I don't know amusingly sinister. I wouldn't care if you bashed me for my cuteness! Your blog is now one of my guilty pleasures.
    Hugs & Snugs
    Eduardo the Snuggle Puggle

    ReplyDelete
  30. Johnny GJanuary 8, 2009 at 1:10 PM

    The milky color of the snake's eyes tell us that the snake is ready to start the shedding of its skin. The snake won't eat it shedding.

    ReplyDelete
  31. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2009 at 1:30 PM

    Well, we all want what we can't have, apparently also in the animal kingdom. Snake is obviously charmed by Hamster's luxurious fur coat and has hibernated into a self-loathing depression over his slick, scaley self. Hamster, on the other hand, is paralyzed by shame over his itty bitty teeth which he though were quite fetching until he got a look at Snake's Fangs stretching the length of his face.

    Fuck both of yous. Envy is the real winner here.

    ReplyDelete
  32. SirFWALGManJanuary 8, 2009 at 1:54 PM

    A snake and a crab had become friends and were living together. The crab had a straightforward character and he urged the snake to change his wicked ways but the snake refused to follow the crab's good advice. So the crab kept an eye on the snake and when he found him sleeping he grabbed the snake by the neck and squeezed him to death between his claws. As he was dying, the snake stretched out straight. The crab then remarked, 'Hey, if you had been this straightforward to begin with, I would not have had to punish you for your crooked behaviour!'

    WATCH OUT SNAKE! YOUR IN DANGER!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Jay, aka The Angry Little ManJanuary 8, 2009 at 2:35 PM

    Satan will come to earth in the form of a Dwarf Hamster.

    ReplyDelete
  34. TeeJanuary 8, 2009 at 2:59 PM

    If this snake is so peace loving why isn't he over in the Gaza Strip working his magic? Lying bastard, he's not peace loving, just lazy!

    Sidenote: I'm really gonna miss interspecies week :(

    ReplyDelete
  35. raquel raneyJanuary 8, 2009 at 3:22 PM

    just came across your blog. hilarious. hate snakes but this made me smile. thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2009 at 4:58 PM

    I see evil in the hamsters eyes...

    ReplyDelete
  37. joeythelovespongeJanuary 8, 2009 at 6:02 PM

    I think the snake doesn't want to eat the hamster because he thinks it mught taste like Richard Gere's ass!

    ReplyDelete
  38. CynJanuary 8, 2009 at 6:30 PM

    The picture was merely snapped too early. That hampster is gone, my friends, gone.

    ReplyDelete
  39. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2009 at 6:54 PM

    I seen the title of this post on someone else's blog list and though it was a reference to Metal Gear Solid, the video game.

    Anyway, I hope the hamster and the snake are still living peacefully. Otherwise, I hope that stupid snake has been chopped in half and fed to starving children.

    ReplyDelete
  40. jasolaterJanuary 8, 2009 at 7:33 PM

    Clearly they are trying to promote world peace by imitating the Lion laying down with the Lamb. But for us folks who can see through their lame attempt at cuteness, it is clear that they fail for many reasons (the snake isn't even wearing a Lion costume for Christ's sake!! And the hamster doesn't even know that Lambs cannot pose with both front legs in the air like that), so they just end up looking like assholes.

    ReplyDelete
  41. JoshJanuary 8, 2009 at 7:33 PM

    We will not be ignored. Penguins shall have their day.

    http://gofuckyourselvesbabies.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  42. RebeccaJanuary 8, 2009 at 7:34 PM

    I loved this one...the best yet!

    ReplyDelete
  43. xJanuary 9, 2009 at 2:03 AM

    Dog and owl
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4075621/Bassett-Hound-and-owl-strike-up-unusual-friendship.html

    Chicken and horse
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bristol/7788747.stm

    http://www.thisissomerset.co.uk/central/news/Horse-head-bed-hen/article-565823-detail/article.html

    ReplyDelete
  44. MyshkaJanuary 9, 2009 at 2:32 AM

    HAHAHAHAHAHA. Funniest post I've read in a long long time. Genius.

    ReplyDelete
  45. TechnogeekboyJanuary 9, 2009 at 5:24 AM

    I think that snake is dead and I think we both know who did it.

    ReplyDelete
  46. KathyJanuary 9, 2009 at 5:36 AM

    I think the snake is blind and doesn't see the hamster and maybe his smelling tongue is just numb from dental work or something.

    ReplyDelete
  47. The BlauthorJanuary 9, 2009 at 3:29 PM

    Best entry yet! And I hate snakes.... of course, this all could be a ploy and for all we know the snake is holding a gun to the back of Hammy's head.

    Play it cool, Hamster.

    ReplyDelete
  48. LisaJanuary 9, 2009 at 5:45 PM

    Look at the Dalai Lama-like pose of the Hamster. Perhaps the snake, being from the Garden of Eden lineage, senses the holiness in the Hamster (even though he lacks his small saffron hamster robe.)

    Forget that we're crossing religious lines here. We're all one.

    Ommmmm.

    ReplyDelete
  49. PogriaJanuary 9, 2009 at 7:00 PM

    The hamster has his fingers together and is saying "Excellent!", ala C Montgomery Burns.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Angela MirandaJanuary 9, 2009 at 8:16 PM

    OH MY GOD I HAVE NOT LAUGHED THIS HARD IN A LOOOOOOOONG TIME. THANK YOU, BRILLIANTLY CREATIVE WRITER, FOR YOUR HILARIOUS BLOG!!

    ReplyDelete
  51. LisaJanuary 10, 2009 at 9:54 AM

    Pogria,

    I conceded, an excellent alternate take.

    ReplyDelete
  52. AnonymousJanuary 10, 2009 at 3:46 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  53. MichieGrlJanuary 11, 2009 at 11:39 AM

    And then the snake was like "I know, I was totally joking! I would never eat you... And I totally don't dream about it and stuff..."

    ReplyDelete
  54. UnknownJanuary 12, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    I'm just saying that this is one of the best websites I've seen in a long time... It's hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  55. KadjahJanuary 12, 2009 at 4:40 PM

    This is my favorite post yet!

    ReplyDelete
  56. xCOLDSTEELxJanuary 13, 2009 at 5:25 AM

    the snake bekomms a new skin, in this moment the snake is blind. whenn snakes becom a new skin, they dont eat!
    this is not cute, this is stress for hamster AND snake!
    and sorry for my bad english

    ReplyDelete
  57. Kendra HollidayJanuary 13, 2009 at 1:25 PM

    That snake is blind, not just to hamsters and world peace, but to how rodents are fucking delicious. Let's see if he'll eat an apple.

    ReplyDelete
  58. LeanneJanuary 13, 2009 at 6:14 PM

    Yep. I'm with the rest, I want the Hammster to attack and eat the snake. Actually the snake looks dead to me. Is it dead? That would explain it all.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Ntash449January 14, 2009 at 2:06 PM

    Natural order seizes existing when there is Peace on Earth. Thus the logical end to this little friendship, is THE END OF THE WORLD!!!

    ReplyDelete
  60. St. Sarah of the PicklebucketsJanuary 20, 2009 at 6:16 AM

    I knew of someone who used to let his younger daughter's hamster play with the older daughter's snake and he insisted the both liked it. When the snake got big enough he ate the hamster. Trust me, he's just waiting till he can get his mouth around his juicy, furry "friend". No peace here...just patience!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Onno SavageJanuary 22, 2009 at 1:44 AM

    Once upon a time an old lady was walking down the street. She passed a group of boys in a circle kicking something. As she got closer, she noticed it was a baby rattlesnake. Scolding the boys, she gently picked up the snake and took him home.
    After several weeks, she had nursed the snake back to health and was about to return him to the woods. As she lifted the snake, it bit her. "Hey," she screamed with her dying breath, " I saved you. Why have you killed me?"
    The snake responded, "Lady, you knew I was a snake when you picked me up."

    ReplyDelete
  62. DadaFebruary 2, 2009 at 6:44 PM

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! wow... dis is funny.. if i was dat snak i wudda been lik itll be funny if i eat u and b4 he can say anything CHOMP!! and then continue watchin tv!! yay...

    ReplyDelete
  63. AnonymousAugust 5, 2009 at 11:33 AM

    Obviously nobody has heard that calm hamster is succulent and delicious, nervous hamster has a bitter gamy twinge to it. The snake is luring the hamster into a juicy delicious state of tasty relaxedness......mmmmmm yummy-calm hamster treat! Smart snake. Silly humans.

    ReplyDelete
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