>>INTERSPECIES WEEK<< 
Monkey, I swear to God, if there isn't a gun just off camera or a man with a giant hammer running towards you, you are in SERIOUS FUCKING TROUBLE. I understand that in the event of an emergency you are advised to grab anything else in the area that is cute and therefore double your cute defenses, but Monkey THIS IS DEFCON 2 LEVEL SHIT. I would think even if you had personally murdered Whitney Houston and then said disparaging things about Muhammad (peace be upon him -ed.) Osama Bin Laden would be helpless to your powers. Come to think of it, if everyone had a monkey just out of reach of a dove, perhaps we could bring about world peace. Fuck you, Monkey, for hoarding the technology.
This monkey has no right to do what it's done, but I wouldn't give the dove such an easy pass either. What an attention whore! You'd think a full-grown dove would have more self-respect than to fly up to every baby in sight whenever a camera is around. It's you, Dove, that's the true whore. This poor monkey is doubtless one of your many victims. Let's hope more come forward and stop your reign of terror.
ReplyDeleteThank you for adding this element of humorous hatred into my life. you are fantastic.
ReplyDeleteKudos to whoever staged the photo. But its nothing more than a glorified pigeon.
ReplyDeleteThis monkey makes me as sick as these sea whores... I mean horses.
ReplyDeletehttp://bp3.blogger.com/_ySCIT3KO9Zc/Rhqns1s8MZI/AAAAAAAAElE/WRalxVjzMDM/s1600-h/Animal_love_13.jpg
Ha ha ha ha. How nice of you to put (PBUH) after Muhammad. So not the point, but you're nice. Even if you do yell at cute animals. WHO TOTALLY FUCKING DESERVE IT THE FUCKING HACKS.
ReplyDelete"Peace Be Unto Him" fabulous
ReplyDeleteThat pigeon better watch out for roving pelicans around meal time:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PO5ifLzLYiU
If you knew the history of the photo, you would be kinder. This was shot on the deck of the Ark...the monkey is consoling the dove because kind old captain Noah sent the dove's mate out to find land and it never returned (Gen. 8:12).
ReplyDeleteHave we even taken the time to think that this is NOT a monkey hugging some bird, but instead, some freak of Siamese twin nature and two poor helpless animals that are inseparable physically and are forced to work in some sick carninval side show?
ReplyDeleteNah - probably not. They are just too fucking cute. DAMN THEM!
The only way I can stomach this photo is with the belief that as soon as the camera shutter clicked, the bird flicked around and pecked that fucked up monkey's eyes out.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wanker.
ReplyDelete(I'm not British, I just have always wanted to use that word. Thanks for the opportunity.)
No, no, Jay you got it backwards! But no wonder - I see by your picture that you must be some kind of bird supremacist. What really happened was the moment the photo was clicked, the monkey moved its delicate, elfin, human-like hand, grabbed the dove by the neck and throttled it to death with its opposable thumb.
ReplyDeleteand in the back ground, some larger animal is thinking...
ReplyDelete"Penguin & Monkey, it's whats for dinner"....
This is the best thing ever. I love this blog.
ReplyDeleteDamned monkey, trying to look all cute and innocent. We know fucking well that YOU- YOU are the one who hacked all of the Soapblox blogs today and threw off the best blog catagory voting.
ReplyDeleteDamn you to H-E-Double Toothpicks, you simpering simian shit.
No no no, that monkey is one of BIN LADEN'S HENCHMEN! He's a fucking terrorist!
ReplyDeleteI always hated that monkey.
ReplyDeletePearl
"DefCon 2 level shit" - this is awesome.
ReplyDeleteIt's ironic the monkey is clutching a dove, the symbol for peace. We all know that monkeys stand for ANARCHY and DEATH. Why do you think they're always flinging their poo around, because their hearts are full of joy, NO because they're full of HATE. And, they just like flinging poo.
Finally. Someone telling the monkeys who the real boss is.
ReplyDelete"You may not be my Buttercup, but you'll have to do."
ReplyDeleteI ran into this blog by googling for the answer to "why do jews eat chinese food on christmas?". I assume it's for the animals...no no kidding! You're soooo gonna win the awardless award. Kudos.
ReplyDeletetoo... too... too much ... too much cute... brain hurt... bad monkey... bad monkey needs... bad monkey needs spanking...
ReplyDeleteI've been staring at the clock waiting for the 24 hours to pass so I can keep voting. That finger click is my final reason to live. Fuck you monkey, but thank you for keeping this blog one more post alive.
ReplyDeleteFlat out killer. Post on!
ReplyDeleteYou're sick, Monkey, with your little human eyes and your fake soul. We know it's not a real soul, Monkey. Think you'll fool us with your dove-loving? No soul, monkey. No soul.
ReplyDeleteMomma loves you... Momma laffs out loud. Thank jeebus for cuss words and little cuties.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to slap that fuckin' monkey in the face and give that dove a swift kick in the ass.
ReplyDeleteWow, everyone here really hates monkeys all of a sudden.
ReplyDeletemaybe the mokiey saw the dove flying and threw shit and drops of monkey love at it, knocking it out of the sky and is now holding it hostage and preparing to break it's neck.....just a thought
ReplyDeleteThat is the most adorable pic ever!!! Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteMan, that's no dove, that's a flying rat (pigeon). The monkey is listening to the lice on it's back whisper....whisper....."Islam is the light."
ReplyDeleteI really don't like monkeys. My life has been much more peaceful since I've admitted that.
ReplyDeletethere is no excuse.
ReplyDeleteIm saddened by the comments above. Cant you philistines just see this for what it is?
ReplyDeleteThe Monkey has roughly TAKEN this dove. Robbed her of her maidenhead. Taken her purity. And probably filmed it.
Wracked with guilt, Mr i-just-fucked-a-dove is caressing his trophy.
Please people, LET THAT IN.
I like to think of them as Hitler and Eva Braun.
ReplyDelete