Thursday, January 29, 2009

Snow leopards: rare, majestic, dickish


Oh, no, don't turn around, Snow Leopard. I'll just talk to your giant ass tail. What's the deal with that thing, anyway? Do you lift weights with it? What exactly do you need a tail the size of a large boa constrictor for? Are you cleaning out chimneys?

Nothing, huh? Okay, Snow Leopard. I see what's going on here. You're too busy being an obscure cat. But you know, Snow Leopard, I have feelings, too. Sure, I may not have a tail, and there are more than six billion of me, so I'm not "SUPER FUCKING SPECIAL GUY" like you. But I'm on to you, Snow Leopard, and I think it would be a good idea for you to keep your eyes open, because you never know, Snow Leopard. You. Never. Know.
at

47 comments:

  1. kimJanuary 29, 2009 at 5:18 AM

    the spots he uses as "camouflage"...um yeah. You may want to rethink and pick something more up to date when you dress in the morning....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Joan of Argghh!January 29, 2009 at 5:19 AM

    Majestic? I don't think so, Snow Leopard. Mostly just selfishly disinterested in OUR needs.

    Like, for a nice winter coat...

    ReplyDelete
  3. David DustJanuary 29, 2009 at 5:22 AM

    Fucking Snow Leopard. I feel like cutting off your head and tail and using your warm, furry torso as a muff to keep my hands warm.

    Or are you TOO GOOD for that???

    ReplyDelete
  4. wordswordsJanuary 29, 2009 at 5:29 AM

    No.

    You. Never. Do.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tim McNuttJanuary 29, 2009 at 5:36 AM

    So when is snow leopard hunting season again? Never? No matter, I'm looking forward to poaching the shit out of you and your kind and making a huge snow leopard cape. Why you ask? Why the fuck not? You'll already be dead anyway. Just lay there on that rock and mind your own business, asshole.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Aaron DaviesJanuary 29, 2009 at 5:54 AM

    oh yeah? call me when you get an OS named after you, wise-guy.
    - snow leopard

    ReplyDelete
  7. DHJanuary 29, 2009 at 6:05 AM

    Majestic? You look like just another big pussy to me, s'no leopard.

    ReplyDelete
  8. MameJanuary 29, 2009 at 6:33 AM

    Look, we all know that the spots are out of the question, but you might want to try changing that attitude.

    ReplyDelete
  9. G double dash LOCJanuary 29, 2009 at 6:55 AM

    And to think I had respect for you after watching Planet Earth, the way you stalked that mountain goat, tore its face off and then returned to your lair to enjoy a feast with your mate...Ive been duped by the rarest of cats.

    ReplyDelete
  10. furiousBallJanuary 29, 2009 at 7:35 AM

    you're so fucking individualistic aren't you? you're just like that girl in high school that grew one shitty piece of her hair extra long into this special braid just like that lady from Til Tuesday and you probably give great hummers just like her too

    ReplyDelete
  11. superBadGirlJanuary 29, 2009 at 7:42 AM

    WTF is up with this guy? He's not even in SNOW. I think his name is a giant crock of false advertising, he looks like he's chilling in Costa Rica right there.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2009 at 7:49 AM

    That leopard print overload is early 80s Snow Leopard.

    I bet you're wearing shoulder pads underneath that.

    Other than that, I have nothing bad to say to you. You beat me because you are perfection.

    Smart ass.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2009 at 7:49 AM

    I guess his hotness melts all the damn snow.

    Jerk.

    ReplyDelete
  14. H-DiggleyJanuary 29, 2009 at 7:50 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. JAMES WOEJanuary 29, 2009 at 7:53 AM

    s- for sucking dick
    n- for never wiping your ass
    o- for ornery
    w- wimpish wang-loving worm suck

    l-licking your own balls, outrageous
    e-eating little cute monkeys
    o-orgasm like ranch dressing
    p-pulling meat from skunks ass
    a-ass kissing the lion
    r-retarded
    d-dump on your lame fur, fag cat

    ReplyDelete
  16. 1953buickJanuary 29, 2009 at 7:56 AM

    "oh yeah? call me when you get an OS named after you, wise-guy."
    - snow leopard

    nice one!

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2009 at 8:17 AM

    Lol, nice talkng to your ass, leopard. Very polite...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Will NiccollsJanuary 29, 2009 at 8:22 AM

    This picture made half of PETA recant.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jessica MooneyJanuary 29, 2009 at 8:34 AM

    Snow leopard you are about as majestic as my big white ass. Yeah, don't turn around cause I don't want to see that swarmy, holier than thou look on your face,asshole! And that tail is soooo yesterday's news. It's time to rethink your accessories douche.

    ReplyDelete
  20. TrishJanuary 29, 2009 at 8:54 AM

    You need to see this picture to understand real pain.

    http://www.thepiratescove.us/2009/01/28/sickeningly-cute-story-of-the-morning-meet-orla/

    ReplyDelete
  21. jflorekJanuary 29, 2009 at 9:00 AM

    What a spotted dick.

    ReplyDelete
  22. jeadlyJanuary 29, 2009 at 9:21 AM

    And what fuck is up with your scientific classification? Its in your damn name... leopard. You are clearly a sub-species of the... wait for it... LEOPARD! You and your freakshow cousins in the Neofelis Genus. What, you think you're so special cause you can't roar? That's ridiculous. I can't roar either, snow leopard, do I get my own genus and species? No. So get your ass over to Panthera Pardus before I really get angry. We're done here.

    ReplyDelete
  23. ScottJanuary 29, 2009 at 10:44 AM

    I am new to your site but i LOVE your tshirts. They are great!
    I think you would appreciate my sense of humor. If I link to your blog on my blog is there any way you could return the favor? I think we could both get more exposure!

    Check it out: Http://scottstipoftheday.blogspot.com

    Thanks so much! I think I am gonna buy me one of them tshirts....

    ReplyDelete
  24. WendyBJanuary 29, 2009 at 11:01 AM

    Leopard-tard.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Christine VaughnJanuary 29, 2009 at 11:33 AM

    Oh come on. Best animal ever.
    Big tails for a cold ass climate and long jumps.
    I want to be a snow leopard.

    ReplyDelete
  26. M@January 29, 2009 at 12:06 PM

    Arrogance.

    ReplyDelete
  27. kristineJanuary 29, 2009 at 2:05 PM

    Can't we just kill the rest of them and be done with it? There aren't THAT many left...

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2009 at 2:51 PM

    What a fucking wuss. Can't even roar.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snow_leopard

    Nothing more than a damned mime in a fur coat.

    ReplyDelete
  29. littleREDelfJanuary 29, 2009 at 3:32 PM

    That does it! No more donations to The Snow Leopard Trust for you jackass!

    maybe.

    sure are pretty.

    fucker.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Jon DefreestJanuary 29, 2009 at 5:08 PM

    I want to grab that stupid cat's tail and run with it. Let it snap back like a rubber band.

    I bet it would hurt like the dickens.

    ReplyDelete
  31. DJJanuary 29, 2009 at 5:41 PM

    Someone has tail envy.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Melody!January 29, 2009 at 6:21 PM

    I don't think I will ever-ever-ever be
    able to get this beautimous kittie-kat
    out of my mind's eye for a long time!

    I think I will see how long of a passage
    of time it takes me to get this beautimous
    kittie-kat out of my mind's eye!

    I will report back when I have got this
    beautimous kittie-kat out of my mind's
    eye!

    TTFN

    ReplyDelete
  33. Melody!January 29, 2009 at 6:29 PM

    I told you I would report back when
    I got that beautimous kittie-kat out
    of my minds' eye!

    Well I got that beautimous kittie-kat
    out of my mind's eye! It happened just
    now! I actually forgot all about that
    beautimous kittie-kat! I am now
    starting to wonder if he is so beauti-
    mous after all!

    Gay avek ya nebbish!

    ps! Eat smelly poo-poo and pass across
    the Rainbow Bridge you doodie head!

    ReplyDelete
  34. capebreton902January 29, 2009 at 6:34 PM

    Most cats are dickish - my dog says so! btw, my word verification is bartige. what the hell is that? a new website catering to people with crap to trade with each other? Paypal not needed there!

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2009 at 7:39 PM

    I bet you get a ton of these kinds of comments, but you have to do something on this little shit:

    http://external.ak.fbcdn.net/safe_image.php?d=fe0ef425bf5ed579764814a0f53f57e7&url=http%3A%2F%2Ficanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F01%2Ffunny-pictures-this-baby-panda-bids-you-hello.jpg

    Keep up the hilarious work. Your website keeps me sane during long days at an office job.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Noam Sayin'January 29, 2009 at 8:06 PM

    Funniest site I've read in a long time. Whoever you are, you're priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  37. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2009 at 9:08 PM

    Does this tail make my butt look big?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Lackluster ProcrastinatorJanuary 29, 2009 at 9:46 PM

    hmmm...so you ARE a guy.

    ReplyDelete
  39. IrlandeseJanuary 29, 2009 at 11:45 PM

    We girls will tell you that size doesn't matter just to make you feel better....but it does, SnowL, yeah, just let it hang there like you don't know it's making us crazy. Prick.

    ReplyDelete
  40. the Constantly Dramatic OneJanuary 30, 2009 at 4:29 AM

    Is your tail that fat or that's just fur? In which case get a fucking tairlhair cut you dick!

    ReplyDelete
  41. teriannlabuwiJanuary 30, 2009 at 11:04 AM

    here kitty kitty
    mama wants a new coat

    ReplyDelete
  42. Ginger ManJanuary 30, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    Who the fuck does he think he is? Miles Fucking Davis?? Is he gonna turn and face us just to drain his spit valve?

    ReplyDelete
  43. gibsongirlJanuary 30, 2009 at 1:59 PM

    I could dust my whole freakin house with that swiffer tail of his.

    ReplyDelete
  44. SMJanuary 30, 2009 at 4:11 PM

    Snow leopards' tails are long and flexible which help them to maintain their balance. The tails are also especially thickly covered with fur which, apart from minimising heat-loss, allows them to be used like a blanket to protect their faces when asleep.

    you're corny

    ReplyDelete
  45. SMJanuary 30, 2009 at 4:11 PM

    Snow leopards' tails are long and flexible which help them to maintain their balance. The tails are also especially thickly covered with fur which, apart from minimising heat-loss, allows them to be used like a blanket to protect their faces when asleep.

    you're corny

    ReplyDelete
  46. J. CullinaneJanuary 31, 2009 at 5:20 PM

    Majestic? Pfff, WHATever. Majesty of what? The Lazy-Ass Animals Club? Why don't you just join the male lion in the contest for "Most Overrated Cat EVER." Yeah, EVER!

    ReplyDelete
  47. coolpillowsAugust 28, 2009 at 7:12 AM

    Yeah.....as if he'd use that "ass tail" to clean out chimneys...if he'd get up off his ass!

    thanks for finally slapping these cats upside their cute big heads

    ReplyDelete

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