Got word that this asshole prances around like he just won Westminster, asking everyone to rub his paws while he stands on his hind legs. Have to check him out in person to do a hardcore intervention/exorcism and see what I can do to help his victims. I'll be gone 'til next Monday, but while I'm gone DO NOT GIVE THESE PEOPLE MONEY:
RSPCA Australia
Wildlife Advocate
Red Cross Australia
They help koalas, which means that if you give them 5, 10, or God help us, 25 dollars, there will be more pictures like this. Which will lead to more pictures like this. BANDAGES ON YOUR PAWS!?! AFTER EVERYTHING THEY'VE DONE FOR YOU, KOALA?
I trust you all know what's the right thing to do.
If he stood on his front paws in front of me I'd punch him square on the nose.
ReplyDeleteWhy does it look so WEIRD? What's with the red eyes? Are we supporting animal substance abuse too? This sucks.
ReplyDeletei bet his name is snoopy or some cliche shit too.
ReplyDeleteFuck you and your droopy red stoner eyes. Don't move my fucking water dish to the wrong side of the kitchen floor! Don't even think about it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the links! I hope your readers respond with help.
ReplyDeleteI will definitely not give them money. I will not even look at those links.
ReplyDeleteLook at that face. He carries al the world's pain and suffering on his tiny paws.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hate him for it.
That koala rules!
ReplyDeleteprops for posting those links. of course, you realize that now the koalas are that much closer to reaching their goal of total world domination...
ReplyDeleteScrew you droopy eyed dog. Don't try your dirty mojo on me--it won't work 'cuz my eyes are open and I see what you are doing! And it makes me puke! And as far as you koala-lovers in Australia you won't get 5, 10 or 25 dollars from me. You'll get twenty and like it, bitches!
ReplyDeleteaussie dollars are like monopoly money. i wouldn't get so worked up about five or ten of them
ReplyDeleteNooo!!! what shall i do for hours on end while you are gone?
ReplyDeleteThis dog is a joke. He makes me wish I didn't have a dog like him.
ReplyDeleteBut then, my dog isn't a poser, and wouldn't be caught dead at the Westminster, such stuffy stuffed animals.
Dog - so what. Koala with burnt paws wrapped in impossibly cute bandages falling in love with another Koala named Bob - so what. FUP on hiatus for a week - WTF!? NO warning? Just, "Hey, I'll see you in a week," and that's it!? Okay, maybe donating daily to the koala fund will get me through the week. Hurry back, dammit.
ReplyDeleteThis Idiot
I don't know if I can handle a week's hiatus, as protest I donated some money to each of those links! That'll teach you to abandon us!
ReplyDeleteIf you leave us, who is to take a principled stand against the kind of depravity displayed by dogs on bicycles?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOO4Q1T069Y
Please come back soon and save us from the evil worldwide conspiracy of cute animals like fluffy kittens and spiky hedgehogs, Mr. or Ms. Fuck You Penguin.
Listen up, mutt. Think I'm charmed by you? Hell no. Before you pull that mournful look on me, why don't you at least put some Visine on your eyes so it's a little less obvious that you were up all night drinking Jägermeister and Red Bull and smoking Swisher Sweets. I'll bet your breath smells like a septic tank. Fuck off, loser.
ReplyDeleteThat dog's name is Heidi. She likes to make people think she's all, like, serious and sensitive.
ReplyDeleteIt's all an act. She's a whore. For two bits and a can of Alpo she's all yours.
Oh, wait I was thinking of my wife.
The intervention has become a fad and is on its way out. Try the exorcism!
ReplyDeleteGif Card Gif-away on my Daily Gif Blog!
DB
As someone who lives in Melbourne, and who's heard more horror stories than I care to hear again, I want to say thank you to Fuck You Penguin and to all you guys who are(n't) donating to the cause. We're all pretty gutted down here (out my window, the city is blanketed in smoke as I write this) and our little guys can use all the help they can get.
ReplyDeleteHugs sea-monkey...
ReplyDeleteAs a Melbourne-born gal living in the Middle East this has really upset me too.
Moreso because I come from Panton Hill which is the next town on from St Andrews and Kinglake, which were both destroyed.
I gave 20 each to those links. Its great to hear others doing the same.
Damn I already gave $50 thinking it would be helping people.
ReplyDeleteThe koalas have been pretty quiet for a few years, but they seem to be on the rise. We should all be very wary. I'll never trust the bastards, they are rats with weally, weally cute faces and cuddly bellies. The evil fuckers.
The authorities are pretty sure that several of the fires were deliberately lit. They're even speculating that a serial arsonist has been operating in the Australian bush over several years.
ReplyDeleteUm... why has no one caught on? It's pyromaniac Koalas, obviously. And the smug fuckers are strutting their cute before an adoring world-wide audience. Look at them. They've got 'I did it' written all over their dopey pyro faces.
You have not pulled the wool over my eyes, evil arsonist Koala.
Stupid, adorable koalas. Stupid, adorable hand casts. I think those pictures took about six years off the end of my life and $40 out of my wallet.
ReplyDeleteAs for you, dog. Stay away from my daughter, stoner! I've seen those red, droopy eyes before, and I DON'T want to take her to the clinic again! Punk kids, with their rap music and baggy pants and marajuana pots!
ARGH!
WHAT THE FUCK!?!
ReplyDeleteI WANT MORE CURSE WORDS IN YOUR BLOG, DAMMIT. WHERE HAVE THEY GONE?
fucking koalas ruin everything.
Are you going to do anything about Chimpanzees? That they're not cute, so much as "plotting your violent demise?"
ReplyDeletehttp://1001thingsnottodobeforeyoudie.blogspot.com/
oh FUP, don't try to hide your tender heart. i'll bet you're on your way to help those koalas, aren't you?
ReplyDeleteThis is my new favorite blog. I think I cracked a rib, laughing. So thanks for that, FUP, you fucker, you made me hurt my ribs.
ReplyDeleteButthead.
I would eat one of my aunt darlenes pot pies before i would pet this pathetic pooch. She used to stuff em with horse shit and mayonaisse.
ReplyDeletei am posting songs to spank animals to. stop by.
www.gizzardsandgravy.blogspot.com
;-)
ReplyDeleteI'm a cat person. Why don't you have tags or categories on your blog so that I can find all the cat posts?
ReplyDeletewhere have you gone??? why have you left us???
ReplyDeletelove,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com
they've co-opted the bbc.
ReplyDeletehttp://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/7897090.stm
Solid post, as always. Nice work.
ReplyDeleteI'm pleasantly surprised, and I do indeed enjoy your blog. If you can mix vulgar language and adorable animals and still keep a firm grip on reality... Well that, my friend, is pure talent.
ReplyDelete(If I had a Fuck You, Penguin shirt, I would wear it rather often.)
Just wait till one of those koalas goes on a rampage...see how proud of themselves Mr. friendly-ass firefighter and Ms. cute little girl in the kitchen are then....
ReplyDeleteThey belong in the gutter...here with me www.gutterdog.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteIs the matchbox really necessary, turtle?
ReplyDeleteRun out of funny pictures, huh? Or funny things to say?
ReplyDeleteDog show!
ReplyDeleteThe disabling concentration of cuteness particles appear to be centered around the nose area...in many animals, especially koalas and puppies. Do not look directly at the nose.
ReplyDeleteAwwww, I lurve English Spring Spaniels, but I will give you special dispensation because I *sometimes* think you are funny. :-p
ReplyDeleteRheumy eyed asshole.
ReplyDeleteLooked for a new chapter today (Mon 2/23), sad not to find one. I hope you'll be back from your trip --to where? -- soon. Desperately needing a new dose of insulting adorableness.
ReplyDeleteSuper witty. I mightmaybe like this almost as much as cleaning.
ReplyDelete高収入 アルバイト
ReplyDelete高収入 アルバイト
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Oh, thank you Sesli sohbet for sharing! I'm in the midst of wedding planning, Camfrog 18 Odalar and both my fiance and I are NOT cake lovers, and can't imagine spending hundreds of dollars on one dessert we don't even like! Forum | Video | Site Map We're planning on doing a buffet of family recipes Sohbet Ruleti, Chat Ruleti pies, cookies, cheesecake, etc - and some of our favorite candies in apothecary jars :) I love to see that
ReplyDeleteothers are SesliSohbet, Sesli Sohbet thinking out of the [cake] box, too!