You sick fuck. It's funny to make fun of those kids on the charity television commercials? Is that what you're saying with your big droopy eyes and your sad little face? Because a bunch of people were going to send them 5 cents a day, but then you showed them how easy it is to fake and they're starting to question the kids' authenticity.
Does that make you happy, Slender Loris? I bet it does, you child-hating bastard. You know, humor is a delicate thing. You are not supposed to just fling it around, making innocent creatures who cannot defend themselves the butt of your jokes. PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN GENUS, LORIS.
Jesus Christ, some animals have no self-awareness.
Christian Children's Fund meet Loris. Thanks to him I'm spending my 95 cents a day on coffee again.
ReplyDeleteWhat a bastard.
ReplyDeleteAnd look at the stupid, stupid nose. Hey Loris, get a real nose, why don't you. It looks like you constantly have a cold.
ReplyDeleteHey Loris, When you ride your motorcycle, do your eyes become caked with bugs? You probably like that, don't you? Yummy bugs.
ReplyDeleteNo insight at all, this one. Little c***.
ReplyDeleteAnd what's worse, I didn't know you existed until I read this post! Learn how to politely introduce yourself, LORIS! I DON'T LIKE BEING AVOIDED.
ReplyDeleteLoser Loris! You're no better than a stinking kinkajou!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sick of your BULLSHIT Lorus!
ReplyDeleteI am sickened by your lack of compassion. I'd like to poke a needle in your dinner plate sized eyeball!
Dammit Loris! I NEED that 5 cent! Why the hell are sabotaging me? Huh Loris? Huh?
ReplyDeleteYeah I will get more money then you with MY eyes. Yeah, what you think of that Loris? Nothing? Yeah...respect.
Why do you put a Loris in a blender feet first?
ReplyDeleteSo you can watch those eyes get even bigger when you turn the blender on.
Fuck you, Loris
Lay of the 'shrooms bud.
ReplyDeleteAny decent safety or cornerback knows you are about to catch the pass, Loris...get ready to take a really big hit in that smug little face. And next time, wear a helmet, dumbass.
ReplyDeleteIt's National Signing Day so even this pathetic creature can't get me riled up. Where's your scholarship offer Loris? What was that, you didn't get one? Fucking shocker there since you have no football skills. Today is about high school athletes going to college, not your self-centered ass!
ReplyDeleteMy mothers name is Doris...I hate her name even more now than I did before.
ReplyDeleteIf this was like some postmodern metropolis, I would defiantly literally fuck your words.
ReplyDeleteThat didnt make any sense. I think i'm still pissed. I should have just led with an "I like you"
Fuck this thing looks like it came out of a fucking Dr.Seuss book.
ReplyDeleteI hate Lorises more than I hate Precious Moments Figurines. What's next? Are you gonna show up with a little snowglobe and try to get me to shake you? Back off, jerkface.
ReplyDeleteThose little nubs don't count as opposable thumbs! Can you use a tool? I don't fucking think so loris.
ReplyDeleteI am now thinking that all the causes I get from my friends on facebook are not very authentic now! Now I do not know what to do about it on facebook! Do I now never at any time accept any facebook request stuff now?!
ReplyDeleteI now feel like Piglet! Oh strepsirrhine primate of the subfamily Lorinae in family Lorisidae was it worth it?!
Where can I send my 5¢-a-day to make sure that li'l loris stays well fed with a shiny coat .. uh. unh ... I mean .. Fuck You Loris!!
ReplyDeletefuck off loris,
ReplyDeleteyou'll never be as cute as me,
bambi
Whats with the stink eye Loris?
ReplyDeleteFuck off and die and then shut up!
Let's all sing the chorus to "Pop Goes the Loris"?
ReplyDeleteI LOVE sites dedicated to angry love, it makes me so mad and happy at the same time - total conflict of emotions :)
ReplyDeleteomg his fur looks so soft and prettyyyy!!! awww cute loris... i mean, stupid little shithead loris.
ReplyDeleteWho do you think you're staring at wish those bugout eyes! Stop staring me Loris!
ReplyDeleteYou make me sick with your selfish child-hating ways!
OMG!!I love, love your posts!! I have never laughed so hard. I even christened my laptop with my diet coke, just so you know. You may need to post a disclaimer, for people like me, at the top about not drinking when reading the posts. Just as a courtesy to the computer of course. Love the clothing line!!! Great stuff!!!
ReplyDeleteChristine
I just had deja vu. After reading the "Genus" line. This is not me saying that this post seems like a post you've done before. This is me saying that I just had legit BLOG DEJA VU.
ReplyDeleteoh life.
you should look at the slow loris.... even more ridiculous than the slender loris
ReplyDeleteFor several years, my wife and I have been sponsoring this kid with big eyes in Haiti named Senio St. Jules through another Christian charity -- Compassion International.
ReplyDeleteHe sends us really sweet letters. We felt good about this, especially after Haiti, and Senio's family, were severely battered by a hurricane, and we felt we could help.
Well, thanks to Loris, I now realize this was all just a crock, a big scam to rip off gullible Americans. Thank you, Loris, and fuck you, Senio, you little parasite prick. Your free ride is over. Get a job, prick. Game over.
I really need you to tell off this koala. He can NOT get away with this.
ReplyDeletehttp://jezebel.com/5146381/happy-hump-day
He ain't making fun of sick kids on charity teevee commercials, are ya, Loris, my man?? He's haunted by the vision of Sally Stuthers big ol' hind end coming to snuff his ass for that lousy nickel. Sheesh.
ReplyDeletehaha. love this blog. awesome.
ReplyDeleteGod Damnit Loris. The only thing you provide to this world is shame, and Gigantic landing pad eyes so insects have something to feed off of. Sweet sweet eye nectar.
ReplyDeleteAss
I want to own you, Loris. In fact I want to own you and several of your Loris friends. I want to dress you all up and be loved by you. That won't happen though because you're too damned "good" to be somebody's pet. Why can't you love me back?
ReplyDelete;-)
ReplyDeleteHey Loris, is that a nose or a nipple on your face? Either way, its extremely unsightly. And while we're on the subject, nice job on your name rhyming with a part of the female anatomy, but I think I liked the joke the first time I saw it on Seinfeld. Copy cat Mother F***er!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDude...this shit is FUNNY! LOL
ReplyDeleteLoris - a.k.a. King of the Evil Eye
ReplyDeleteLoris goes straight to video with cute antics, bypasses local theaters
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9f-6jygRJk&feature=player_embedded
well, at least this isn't the dreaded slow loris, a little bigger version also heavy on the noxious cute with its damn metallic eyed you silly solitary nocturnal forager...I could spit.
ReplyDelete