Wednesday, July 22, 2009

This is just a giant pile of wrong


Cuddle parties have finally made their way into the Degu community. This is making me super pissed-off because it's a bunch of fucking degus laying on each other in a mess of ears, whiskers, and tiny noses. But the parties are also leading to a greater level of inappropriate degu behavior. We all know that cuddle parties start out as innocent ways to have fun, but quickly degenerate into this.

Degus are particularly susceptible to this because they already have low self-esteem since guinea pigs and chinchillas get so much more attention. If you have a degu, DO NOT LET THEM GO TO A CUDDLE PARTY. I don't care if they say it helps them "keep warm," just tell them you go to work every day to put a roof over their heads so they aren't out in the cold, which is exactly where they'll be if they don't listen to you. Trust me, it's for their own good. They will thank you when they are older.
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48 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 22, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    LMAO!!! Those dang Degu's...trying to go off to "cuddle parties"...

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  2. AnonymousJuly 22, 2009 at 12:03 PM

    And don't kid yourselves. You know at least two of those Degus are pooping WHILE cuddling.

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  3. Anne HJuly 22, 2009 at 12:12 PM

    Its like Degu view all over again!

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  4. the Constantly Dramatic OneJuly 22, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    OMG!! How the hell did you get that second photo? OMG!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!

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  5. NoelleJuly 22, 2009 at 12:31 PM

    Dumb ass degus. If any of you ever dreamed of a career in politics - forget about it.

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  6. @elohJuly 22, 2009 at 12:34 PM

    Very interactive post..and thanks for presenting the WHOLE ugly story. One day I hope that I too will get flowers from my pets and children for steering them clear of the demon sex.

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  7. Laila PJuly 22, 2009 at 12:36 PM

    WHAT THE HELL? Bunch of idiots. Although the last pic got me.

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  8. Mister 1-2-3-4July 22, 2009 at 12:48 PM

    Now that is just a hot mess right there. What, do they think it's still the seventies? Casual sex isn't cool anymore, Degus. Put away your bell bottoms and gold chains and GROW UP.

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  9. Life With DogsJuly 22, 2009 at 12:51 PM

    I'm seeing a giant pile of hats....anyone up for singing Davey Crockett?

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  10. BarbJuly 22, 2009 at 12:54 PM

    Wait a sec. Are you sure you aren't jumping to conclusions?

    Maybe this is the start of a world record attempt for how many Degus you can fit in a cage?

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  11. DHJuly 22, 2009 at 12:55 PM

    That's almost as big a cluster fuck as Congress.

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  12. nltismeJuly 22, 2009 at 1:12 PM

    Oooohhhh I wanna be in a cuddle party too, especially one that leads to something like the second photo....cuddle cuddle cuddle!

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  13. James EstallJuly 22, 2009 at 1:17 PM

    You reckon they flipped for who went on the bottom row?

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  14. Mike!July 22, 2009 at 1:41 PM

    I'm sorry, did I miss a memo? Is it slut week on FUP?

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  15. WR July 22, 2009 at 2:01 PM

    First I thought 'okay, let's get a group of right-wing ladies together and ask them knit little suits for the Degus - to help keep them warm and then ergo - morally correct (like a chastity belt but different).

    Then I changed my mind.

    Knit suits will have to be dry cleaned and who exactly is going to pay for that?

    Didn't James Kirk have this exact same problem in the Trouble with Tribles. Are Degus really Tribles?

    Damn, it is always complicated with FU,P!
    ;-)

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  16. MardelJuly 22, 2009 at 2:11 PM

    OMG - thanks for the laugh. You made an old woman's day! (okay, sort of old)

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  17. hiphophippie.comJuly 22, 2009 at 2:13 PM

    That looks like a giant pile of Care Bear poop.

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  18. jflorekJuly 22, 2009 at 2:47 PM

    That place probably stinks to high heaven.

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  19. UnknownJuly 22, 2009 at 2:49 PM

    Looks like an orgy in fur coats!
    That's one party invite I'm glad I missed! EEEEEEEEEwwwwwwwwwwww!ww

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  20. UnknownJuly 22, 2009 at 3:19 PM

    They can cuddle all they want and live in denial. It won't change the fact that we all die alone!

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  21. trulymadlydeeplyJuly 22, 2009 at 7:45 PM

    Hmm.
    I had a suspicion that you were into softnfuzzy-core porn.

    Confirmed.

    Just don't let your wife catch you f!$ing another bitch.

    Dgystyl

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  22. AlexaJuly 22, 2009 at 9:06 PM

    You know where else they made piles like this? Abu Graib. You can just see the soulless dejection in these Degus' eyes.

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  23. AnonymousJuly 22, 2009 at 9:31 PM

    Lol, the wikipedia link is too funny...

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  24. TamaraJuly 22, 2009 at 10:34 PM

    Another pileup - http://mcfarlanddesigns.blogspot.com/2008/07/blog-post.html

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  25. girl6July 22, 2009 at 11:52 PM

    Oh my g--think of the children, you morally bankrupt tossers. This, THIS! is what we're talking about when we talk about the threat to marriage in America. Six of my friends are divorced now from being exposed to deviant crap like this.

    Get thee behind me, you sleepy-eyed, fuzzysoft, warm, chubby demons. And you two on the ledge, get a fucking clue and a room.

    ha! word verification: hoties.

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  26. AnonymousJuly 23, 2009 at 12:10 AM

    I once went to a cuddle party and got meself 5 pairs of slippers!

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  27. AnonymousJuly 23, 2009 at 12:14 AM

    Come on, they are all just trying to avoid the wet spot, duh!

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  28. kathcomJuly 23, 2009 at 5:27 AM

    That image is so upsetting. If you just put a few hoods and electrodes on them, they look like a guy pile from Abu Ghraib. Add Lynndie England pointing the finger guns and you have a nice shot to send home to the folks.

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  29. terraeliseJuly 23, 2009 at 5:45 AM

    I'm pretty sure I now need one of these.

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  30. xrayunicornJuly 23, 2009 at 8:25 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  31. xrayunicornJuly 23, 2009 at 8:32 AM

    I'm sorry to break this to you, FUP, but that is not a cuddle party. That is a cheerleading squad of fat teenage girl degus, and this is their first practice.

    The one on top there (I think her name is Cindy) lied about her weight. "Oh, no, guys, it's okay, I only weigh 4 ounces, I won't fall off the top of the pyramid. You can hold me up." And the ones underneath her are all thinking, "No way are you even a pinch less than 8 ounces, but also no way am I going up there where all the teenage male degus are going to see my thigh fat on their way back from soccer practice."

    So FUP, I see where you're coming from, but also let's have a little compassion. Because even though we may not all have taken part in a pile, we've all taken part in puberty. It's just one of those disasters that can't be avoided, and all we can do is watch in sympathy and have a stretcher at the ready when Cindy comes tumbling down.

    Sincerely,

    xrayunicorn.blogspot.com

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  32. UnknownJuly 23, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    ;)

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  33. Independent GeorgeJuly 23, 2009 at 2:12 PM

    Don't be fooled by the flowers - that last one is giving you the finger!

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  34. Glory von HathorJuly 23, 2009 at 3:02 PM

    Sometimes the whole is not greater than the sum of the parts. You suck at Gestalt, Degus.

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  35. AnonymousJuly 23, 2009 at 5:11 PM

    I tagged you for the honest scrap award... Go check out my blog to get the deatils!

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  36. Marina M.July 23, 2009 at 7:15 PM

    That's just bad !!! -Leaves- -second thoughts- -peeps- -Loves it- LOL Animals have the right to have fun too ! ;)

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  37. The LaVya InitiativeJuly 23, 2009 at 8:08 PM

    I can't breathe!

    I guess the Degu's are getting sex education in school, either.

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  38. yarravillewahineJuly 23, 2009 at 9:03 PM

    I showed that picture to my cat Willie. Now he wants a Cuddle Party of his own. Every few minutes.

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  39. Simon LeongJuly 23, 2009 at 11:29 PM

    very funny !!!!! love the blog :-)

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  40. ferretluvboneJuly 24, 2009 at 4:37 PM

    2 words - Deep fry.

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  41. KPBJuly 25, 2009 at 5:20 PM

    I wonder how many babies came from that furry gang bang?

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  42. UnknownJuly 27, 2009 at 8:58 AM

    Degu: "Oh, wow! My first year at college was soooooo awesome. I just met so many interesting people, you know."

    Degu Mom: "How are your classes going honey?"

    Degu: "God mom! They're fine - but college is really so much more about new experiences than it is about grades."

    Look Degu. You're parents are mortgaged to their fucking eyeballs to pay for you to get an education. The least you can do is go to class and graduate.

    This shit with the X parties leads straight to you dropping out the second semester of your sophomore year and working at the coffee shop until you are 27. Unlike body fluids, that kind of shame doesn't wash off.

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  43. Robert CraneJuly 27, 2009 at 6:23 PM

    what you fail to mention is that it is a cuddle party for women of the same sex. i think that will change th opinion of some of your male readers, like me for example.

    you go degu!

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  44. UnknownJuly 30, 2009 at 8:46 AM

    Fuck Yous, Degus

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  45. MelissaAugust 4, 2009 at 1:45 AM

    I was bitten by a degu. Took a ful year to recover feeling in that finger! Fuck you degu!

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  46. UnknownAugust 24, 2009 at 4:55 PM

    You guys are awful funny...

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  47. UnknownAugust 30, 2009 at 12:58 AM

    God, these things disgust me. I want to take a big handful of them, and toss them into a wood chippper, record the screams, and save it as a ring tone.
    these fucking rodents are too hairy to be rats, and not cute enough to be chinchillas. They look like mice on steroids! Hope you're banned from baseball, you ugly, black death carrying rodents!

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  48. rustyoneillAugust 19, 2010 at 10:36 PM

    those bastards love orgies. especially blind orgies. they don't care who they're doing as long as they're doing it. freaking nasty mc-nastys!

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