Friday, October 30, 2009

I doubt Nathan Lane feels threatened


This nudibranch apparently thinks it's the cutest thing on the block just because it's the neon equivalent of a drama kid. Prancing around the ocean like you have a spine doesn't mean you should pose jazz-hands style like you're in a college production of Fame, asshole.

Talk about cheesy. Was this the nudibranch's headshot for auditions? I've got news for you, Nudibranch, no one is looking for an overenthusiastic mollusk to take Broadway by storm. I hope you're good at pouring coffee, because I see a bright future for you in table-waiting.
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66 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 30, 2009 at 6:55 AM

    I seriously thought that this was some kind of porcelain figurine from hell.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Trixie BedlamOctober 30, 2009 at 6:56 AM

    and, come on - Nudibranch? obviously a stage name.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sarah {The Student Knitter}October 30, 2009 at 7:15 AM

    or porn name perhaps? Maybe this IS his backup plan!

    ReplyDelete
  4. trulymadlydeeplyOctober 30, 2009 at 7:16 AM

    Sick! You sick, sick person!!
    Look at that smile! Look at it!!
    Tell me that is not the most innocent, fun-loving creature this side of Atlantis!
    How dare you corrupt his youthful attempt at sea swagger and self expression with preposterous assumptions of famewhoredom. Pfffffff

    This is more ridiculous than that dinner scene in Birdcage, all of it!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousOctober 30, 2009 at 7:17 AM

    i don't believe of his existence

    ReplyDelete
  6. UnknownOctober 30, 2009 at 7:39 AM

    We all know what you do with those feathers on your back. You're not hiding anything.

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownOctober 30, 2009 at 7:39 AM

    What the hell are you???

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Cool CookieOctober 30, 2009 at 7:58 AM

    Somewhere a SpongeBob SquarePants episode is missing a character...

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousOctober 30, 2009 at 8:11 AM

    This is possibly my favorite post ever. This horrible creature almost made me cry.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Julia BolchakovaOctober 30, 2009 at 8:57 AM

    Wow before I saw this picture i didn't know I had a gaydare...

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousOctober 30, 2009 at 9:24 AM

    Is that thing even real? :-O

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousOctober 30, 2009 at 9:32 AM

    WTF is that? An ink blot with color?

    ReplyDelete
  13. AliciaOctober 30, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    nudibranch: (Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Animals) any marine gastropod of the order Nudibranchia, characterized by a shell-less, often beautifully coloured, body bearing external gills and other appendages Also called sea slug
    [from nudi- + branche, from Latin branchia gills]

    ReplyDelete
  14. BunneeOctober 30, 2009 at 12:00 PM

    Don't hate, Nudibranch be totally pimpin' yo! He got so much swagga, it breaks my heart. All he needs now is a tiny purple cane to keep his bitches in line with.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Maria-Thérèse ~ www.afiori.comOctober 30, 2009 at 12:13 PM

    lol @ last comment :D

    ReplyDelete
  16. tcs3600October 30, 2009 at 1:16 PM

    Typical. Back in school, you were just "Sea slug," now it's "Call me Miss Nudibranch." La di da!

    ReplyDelete
  17. BabyonBoredOctober 30, 2009 at 1:38 PM

    How'd the Nudibranch get hurt in all this? He's just swimming around in jaunty sea cap with feathers, minding his own business, sporting a big old cheesy purple grin and you have to hate on that? Shame on you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. UnknownOctober 30, 2009 at 1:40 PM

    On a positive note, you could have mentioned the darling hat...but no, you continue your negative ways!

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousOctober 30, 2009 at 2:22 PM

    Nudibranch, I question what do you have to smile about? They drank your best friends in a Smoothie last week on Survivor.

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousOctober 30, 2009 at 2:46 PM

    That's a mollusk?! I thought it was a mushroom or something...

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousOctober 30, 2009 at 2:59 PM

    They are great on a cracker with a smidgen of brie if you can catch the little fuckers!

    ReplyDelete
  22. UnknownOctober 30, 2009 at 4:24 PM

    I think it looks like a scallop in an Easter bonnet.

    ReplyDelete
  23. hiphophippie.comOctober 30, 2009 at 6:53 PM

    Ahh, I think there was LSD in my sandwhich.

    ReplyDelete
  24. WR October 30, 2009 at 7:29 PM

    A sea slug that works as a waiter and leaves sea slime on the coffee cup...pretty damned disgusting.

    Now listen up people - no. one. hires. the. Nudibranch. (no matter how brightly colored it is!) And where is his damned shell? No doubt, in the coffee.....

    ReplyDelete
  25. NikkiOctober 30, 2009 at 7:52 PM

    Do you realize the DEPTH of your awesomeness???!!! I truly love you.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Mike!October 30, 2009 at 8:08 PM

    E-freakin'-gad, Pokemon are real!
    Who the fuck knew?

    ReplyDelete
  27. BioPeachOctober 30, 2009 at 8:23 PM

    Don't they serve these at Red Lobster?

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousOctober 30, 2009 at 9:15 PM

    That's a weird lookin' animal.
    Looks like a gay version of Stitch (from Lilo & Stitch)

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousOctober 31, 2009 at 10:32 AM

    For more of these fabulous nudibranchs go to http://bouphonia.blogspot.com/search/label/nudibranchs.

    Every Friday the author publishes a new photo.

    ReplyDelete
  30. bonnieOctober 31, 2009 at 1:43 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  31. bonnieOctober 31, 2009 at 1:47 PM

    Mike's right. That has totally got to be a Pokemon that escaped from it's videogame & is trying to pull one over on everybody by pretending it is a real animal.

    Somebody find the Pokeball, quick.

    ReplyDelete
  32. bonnieOctober 31, 2009 at 1:47 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  33. RicoOctober 31, 2009 at 7:55 PM

    Okay, I'm confused . . . all I see is a pumpkin wearing a hat with feathers on that is reading from a script.(?) Some kind of homage to Halloween?

    My eyes hurt from trying to find its focal point. Ah, fuck it - I hate it for existing regardless of being able to articulate exactly why.

    On a side note, I found my verification word very amusing -

    coedd

    Hmmm . . . I like the "double D" + "co-ed" angle.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Marie SimasNovember 1, 2009 at 1:04 AM

    I knew you were going to say Jazz Hands. I just KNEW IT!!

    ReplyDelete
  35. kanishkNovember 2, 2009 at 5:45 AM

    Tell me that is not the most innocent, fun-loving creature this side of Atlantis! Work From Home

    ReplyDelete
  36. Dances With CupcakesNovember 4, 2009 at 7:27 AM

    SeaSlug SquareSmile

    ReplyDelete
  37. j.l.rameiorNovember 5, 2009 at 7:33 AM

    Matt, are you OK? Haven't seena new post since Friday 10/30. NEED MORE!

    Best Regards, JLR

    ReplyDelete
  38. Andrea BergerNovember 5, 2009 at 11:46 AM

    As Peter Sarstedt sang, "Where do you go to, my lovely?"

    ReplyDelete
  39. AnonymousNovember 5, 2009 at 12:11 PM

    I think it's adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  40. AnonymousNovember 5, 2009 at 4:19 PM

    Sometimes I come here and there is nothing new posted and I wanted to let you know that even when I have read your posts before, even when I know the most recent titles... I still snort out loud when the headline pops up. ALWAYS. All of the headlines. You crack me up.

    I doubt Nathan Lane feels threatened

    ReplyDelete
  41. IsonomistNovember 5, 2009 at 7:23 PM

    The nudibranch is forcing me to question my sanity. How can I feel maternal toward a worm? It's wrong! Wrong!!

    ReplyDelete
  42. MalNovember 6, 2009 at 12:35 AM

    My favorite creature of all time finally made it to FUP. Greatest post ever.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Shauna (Fido and Wino)November 6, 2009 at 9:52 AM

    Just came across your blog- hilARIOUS.

    HA!

    ReplyDelete
  44. catherineNovember 6, 2009 at 2:48 PM

    looks like a freekin' pokemon...what is his special power?? Cuteness? And how can some kind of wierd sea creature be cute?!?

    ReplyDelete
  45. AnonymousNovember 7, 2009 at 4:04 PM

    Holy Shit...I just spent a ridiculous amount of time laughing to TEARS in the middle of Barnes & Noble. Funniest stuff I've read, seen, heard in a looong time. You are my new hero, man. Prairie Dogs...

    ReplyDelete
  46. Alex TrebekNovember 9, 2009 at 3:28 AM

    What is an ocean creature whose bright colors and shell-less form has yet to earn a PBS Sunday Morning Cartoon?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Some GirlNovember 9, 2009 at 4:21 AM

    you even post cute nudibranches! i think i love you, you mean bastard!

    ReplyDelete
  48. off2fishNovember 9, 2009 at 10:34 PM

    That is the best nudibranch pic I have ever seen. No really, I used to study them, it's awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  49. nltismeNovember 16, 2009 at 1:52 PM

    A Tonka Tooth Toy?

    ReplyDelete
  50. El CaganerNovember 21, 2009 at 8:48 AM

    Cool mollusk. Can you eat it?

    ReplyDelete
  51. YayaDecember 17, 2009 at 3:24 PM

    i'm in love with a mollusk.

    ReplyDelete
  52. feathermarDecember 19, 2009 at 1:36 PM

    If only its giant mouth curved down.

    ReplyDelete
  53. myusikahDecember 25, 2009 at 6:00 PM

    ...Do you really hate animals? Or just like making fun of them?

    ReplyDelete
  54. spanky*December 25, 2009 at 10:54 PM

    that thing is creepy as fuck. i feel like i shuold spread it on toast, but i don't wanna get anywhere near it. eek!

    ReplyDelete
  55. JacobJanuary 9, 2010 at 12:17 PM

    That animal is f'd up. It looks like God dropped acid before he created it.

    ReplyDelete
  56. UnknownFebruary 8, 2010 at 10:54 PM

    http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2717730048
    Derp

    ReplyDelete
  57. RandyFebruary 21, 2010 at 8:32 PM

    What does it think it is? A fuckin pokemon? Nudibranch? Really?

    ReplyDelete
  58. LynnseyMarch 31, 2010 at 10:51 PM

    Oh that's awesome, you used my suggestion! Isn't he the cutest damn thing you've ever seen? Fuck.

    ReplyDelete
  59. BearsharrrkMay 19, 2010 at 3:29 PM

    I sigh long wistful sighs in bitter sadness that the bearshark was never covered. Alas, this hipster literary prowess lives to swim/traipse another day.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  62. rustyoneillDecember 9, 2010 at 9:31 AM

    Have you ever wanted to see what the AIDS virus would look like if it was living? Well, here you go. That som-omma-bitch (son-of-a-bitch) is attempting to sneak on by passively by trying to perpetrate as HIV. Well we know what you are you fucking bastard! Unfortunately for you, you cannot live outside a host for too long so your sinister, gleeful, lying days are numbered. You better find a dog to hide in for a while because you WILL NOT multiply inside a human anytime soon. We're all hip to your ways. You think you're a charmer, but you're really just a homo who hasn't come to terms with its true-self. Look in the mirror AIDS (can that be the new pejorative? C'mon guys let's make it happen... like, "Yo, man! You be all like AIDS man!") and not like Robert DeNiro, but really look and see if you don't hate yourself a little bit. Now put a fork in it, cuz you're done. Your punishment is roshambo, only you're the one that gets kicked by the world (do you even have balls?).

    ReplyDelete
  63. rustyoneillDecember 9, 2010 at 9:33 AM

    Have you ever wanted to see what the AIDS virus would look like if it was living? Well, here you go. That som-omma-bitch (son-of-a-bitch) is attempting to sneak on by passively by trying to perpetrate as HIV. Well we know what you are you fucking bastard! Unfortunately for you, you cannot live outside a host for too long so your sinister, gleeful, lying days are numbered. You better find a dog to hide in for a while because you WILL NOT multiply inside a human anytime soon. We're all hip to your ways. You think you're a charmer, but you're really just a homo who hasn't come to terms with its true-self. Look in the mirror AIDS (can that be the new pejorative? C'mon guys let's make it happen... like, "Yo, man! You be all like AIDS man!") and not like Robert DeNiro, but really look and see if you don't hate yourself a little bit. Now put a fork in it, cuz you're done. Your punishment is roshambo, only you're the one that gets kicked by the world (do you even have balls?).

    ReplyDelete
  64. AnonymousNovember 10, 2011 at 5:08 PM

    Well said.

    ReplyDelete
  65. AnonymousNovember 13, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    I think this adorable little creature has a big future ... with some wasabi, a little pickled ginger, a touch of soy sauce ... om, nom, nom.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Life's a beachJanuary 26, 2012 at 9:44 PM

    That thing looks like a nintendo character wtf!!!! lol
    This crazy species blog is the shit

    Visit my blog
    http://lifesabeach7.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete

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