Thursday, February 12, 2009

South Korea real Korean threat to humanity

>>ANIMALS IN THE NEWS WEEK<<
What the hell, South Korea? You guys seem so awesome, what with your delicious food, nice electronics, and live octopus eating. You are like Japan but without the creepy porn (I mean this in a good way). So what are you trying to pull here? Are you seriously telling me one of those puppies isn't cute enough, YOU NEED THE SAME FUCKING PUPPY TWICE?!?! A normal country (like, say, Peru) wouldn't even need the whole puppy, it would be cool with just that impossibly pink nose.

I used to think you were the "cool" Korea. People would bad mouth Korea, and I would be like, "Man, you must mean North Korea, 'cause that South Korea, that's one boss fuckin' place." (I was in the 1960s at the time.) But now, I really don't know, South Korea. I think you need to rethink your relationship with the puppy.

I'm not even going to say anything to these puppies. They know what they did.
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44 comments:

  1. Tim McNuttFebruary 12, 2009 at 5:48 AM

    Are you sure those are two separate puppies? What if that is the beginning of some two-headed super puppies bred only in South Korea? If only they could clone eyeballs because I just stabbed mine with a fork because those puppies are....SO FUCKING CUTE!!!

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  2. gradschoolknitterFebruary 12, 2009 at 5:50 AM

    This is South Korea's attempt at WMDs. Everyone knows you can't be in the same place as yourself, whether past, present or future. Just watch Back to the Future. These two puppies (which are, essentially the SAME puppy) napping in the same place at the same time are threatening the space time continuum.

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  3. HRH King Friday XIII, Ret.February 12, 2009 at 6:00 AM

    two headed beast!

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  4. The Cheap-Arse Film CriticFebruary 12, 2009 at 6:02 AM

    It's like "The Clone Wars."

    Only not crap.

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  5. DHFebruary 12, 2009 at 6:05 AM

    Why, those aren't puppies at all! That's actually the president of South Korea, lee Myung-bak, and Kim Jong-il, great leader of North Korea, deeply involved in talks to de-escalate tensions between the two countries.

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  6. foreverinautumnFebruary 12, 2009 at 6:06 AM

    Fine, I'll say it.

    "that's pretty fuckin' cute"

    I got nothin...

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  7. GojiroFebruary 12, 2009 at 6:09 AM

    One of those puppies is actually from the Mirror Universe, and not a clone at all. See how their noses are pink on opposite sides? True clones would be EXACTLY IDENTICAL. Obviously, one of these puppies is a vicious, bloodthirsty motherfucker.

    The question is ... which?

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  8. Life Is A Road TripFebruary 12, 2009 at 6:12 AM

    OMG, Did you know that South Korea is CLONING puppies?! Coincidence? I think not.

    http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/02/06/cloned.puppy/index.html

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  9. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2009 at 6:13 AM

    OMG, i wanna have those fucking cute doggies!

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  10. JFebruary 12, 2009 at 6:20 AM

    They're not really sleeping. They're waiting for you to pet them and they will then proceed to chomp your hand off.

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  11. WalterFebruary 12, 2009 at 6:20 AM

    Shamefully adorable.

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  12. TrishFebruary 12, 2009 at 6:52 AM

    You can't tell where one begins and the other ends, can you?
    I think these are really Siamese puppies, and the South Koreans simply hi-jacked them.

    ReplyDelete
  13. MishaFebruary 12, 2009 at 7:09 AM

    Don't they know that blush is supposed to go on your cheeks, not your nose.

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  14. ShimmyFebruary 12, 2009 at 7:10 AM

    Rank, febrile puppies! Yep, they know what they did.

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  15. yellaphantFebruary 12, 2009 at 7:13 AM

    what the FUCK was that octopus shit? I seriously think I'm going to be sick for the rest of the day. With the tentacles wrapping around that dude's wrist and squirming and wiggling. Oh my god I'll never recover from this one.

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  16. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2009 at 7:36 AM

    They probably have really awesome puppy breath, too.

    Fuckers.

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  17. Kafka Stole My BikeFebruary 12, 2009 at 8:04 AM

    What a load of crap! These punk puppies are just laying around with their adorable, wrinkled eyes and cheeks. Enjoy it while it lasts!

    You just wait: your looks will fade and you'll both find yourselves in your late 20's, with a receding hairline and mediocre writing job, livid that you forgot your breakfast and the you have walk in the cold to a corporate coffee chain to eat. ARGH!

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  18. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2009 at 8:12 AM

    that was the most disgusting video I have ever seen, and yet so romantic at the same time. Mixed in with these puppies, my heart stands no chance....

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  19. UnknownFebruary 12, 2009 at 9:36 AM

    AAAGHH!!! He ate a living Octopus!!!

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  20. boobooFebruary 12, 2009 at 9:37 AM

    Hey, Puppies!

    What? Are you REALLY that tired?

    You expect us to believe that you've "put in such a hard day"?

    Yeah, right!

    You just can't get ENOUGH attention can you, Puppies?

    You're pathetic.

    And what's with the pink muzzles? Shaved a little too closely, did we? Trying to impress your dates with your "smooth complexions"?

    Go to hell, Puppies.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Jessica MooneyFebruary 12, 2009 at 10:29 AM

    South Korea, I am embarrassed for you. I'm not even sure you were ever "cool", but now I'm pretty positive you are not cool AT ALL. And overdoing it with puppies is not going to help your poor image SK. Hire a new publicist. Please.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dr.SaltFebruary 12, 2009 at 10:35 AM

    I hate puppies so much.

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  23. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2009 at 11:31 AM

    I don't know... I think they're fucking posers. Do you see those sharp-ass claws! They are probably some sort of new Korean weapon.

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  24. Ntash449February 12, 2009 at 11:44 AM

    OK, if nobody else is gonna say it I will... WTF is up with the octopus shit? That shit was so creepy and gross. That thing continued to move while he was chomping it down. I about just puked my coffee up.

    BTWs the puppies. I want them. Want them now!!! Too cute for words.

    That is all.

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  25. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2009 at 12:36 PM

    They prolly gonna eat those puppies too! You know they love a dog caserole.

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  26. get in hereFebruary 12, 2009 at 1:54 PM

    YOU know what YOU did. You fu**ed that puppy.

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  27. RachelFebruary 12, 2009 at 3:29 PM

    Oh come on, you know that you are secretly hoping for the day when South Korea steps it up a notch and begins to clone humans. The Arnold Schwarzenneger can save us and actually call himself "the Governator" on a world stage, while viciously beating up the clone army! With their puppies in tow!

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2009 at 3:40 PM

    I live in south korea! I have seen live octopus eating first hand. They sell it on the streets. Hahaha soooo crazy. Also, did nobody notice that the puppies names are Magic and Stem??? How much does life suck for stem?

    ReplyDelete
  29. AllgaulFebruary 13, 2009 at 5:06 AM

    Look! Admin Wikiplug cloned it's comments! If it were an cute animal, I would tell it what's what for you, FUPenguin, but it's not an animal, is it? It isn't talking about an animal, is it? But yet it cloned itself. Hmmmm. I shall ignore it until it goes away.

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  30. UnknownFebruary 14, 2009 at 2:33 AM

    ;-) ;-)

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  31. JennyBFebruary 16, 2009 at 1:56 AM

    OMG... that octopus movie? that will haunt me for the rest of my days...

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  32. Sophia La ChouetteFebruary 16, 2009 at 12:24 PM

    In Korea, those puppies are called breakfast.

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  33. ~EFebruary 17, 2009 at 12:23 AM

    DUDE! One word...

    CLONING!

    'Nuff said.

    ReplyDelete
  34. kilgoreFebruary 18, 2009 at 12:50 PM

    those puppies are just too much.

    that video was horrible, i couldn't even watch the whole thing. here is a more appropriate video. fuck you penguin.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_uFJo5ww0E&eurl=http://comment.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewComments&friendID=4749667&feature=player_embedded

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  35. tmossincaFebruary 18, 2009 at 9:34 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  36. Gutter DogFebruary 19, 2009 at 3:57 AM

    Serve them up for dinner...$100 a plate...www.gutterdog.blogspot.com

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  37. Sophia Draws.February 20, 2009 at 10:40 AM

    Ugh, those pink noses are so gross. Like, eww.

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  38. essbeseeFebruary 21, 2009 at 7:20 AM

    hilariousness geniusness. featuring your site on my blog asap.

    ReplyDelete
  39. OSweetFebruary 22, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    Koreans eat, and abuse, way more dogs than they clone, so this offense is forgivable.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Paintbrush BlondeFebruary 24, 2009 at 7:08 AM

    I was personally involved in this project. I glued those puppies together.

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  41. pulleaseFebruary 27, 2009 at 12:53 PM

    that is one puppy laying on top of the other one you degenerate momo of a toolbucket

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  42. umijinMarch 5, 2009 at 9:39 AM

    Hey now - remember that dog is a very important item on the Korean menu. So maybe they like their broiled puppies in standard form.

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  43. .July 10, 2009 at 8:56 AM

    heheh HUH?

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  44. AshleyAugust 19, 2009 at 8:01 AM

    Editor, please please tell me you don't actually think eating live animals is cool? :(

    ReplyDelete

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