We place a lot of blame on the animals on this blog, and yeah, this dude has his tail curled up over his body and he's fitting on the top of a rose which basically makes me want to JUMP UP AND DOWN AND RUN INTO THE STREET WAVING A GUN SHOUTING "IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS."
But the truth is the dormouse didn't fall asleep in the rose, he was put there by the photographer, a person he thought was his friend. They were having a late night hanging out, and the dormouse had a little too much to drink and fell asleep. At first the other guys were doing stupid shit like putting Cheetos all over him and putting his hand in warm water so he would wet the bed, but then this one dude came up with the idea to curl up his tail and sit him in the middle of a rose. Now he's an internet sensation, and next month he is going on the market for a ladyfriend. Do you really think with stuff like this out there, it's going to be easy to find someone who respects him?
Not cool, photographer. Not fucking cool.
The bastards even named him "Dreamy". Callous mofos.
ReplyDeleteI want to chew on his jerky foot
ReplyDeleteShameful.
ReplyDeleteFuck you, photographer. All has happened before and will happen again. End of line.
ReplyDeleteDude, next time lay off the tequila! You're lucky it wasn't the sharpie all over your face again (though that was hilarious last time!)
ReplyDeleteBed of roses is not what it sounds like.
ReplyDeleteIt's so fucking cute, I could puke.
ReplyDeleteI've been lurking for a while - this blog is hysterical.
I actually had a pet dormouse. Little fucker took off, haven't heard from him since!
ReplyDeleteI like this dormouse! It think that more than likely, that me and this here dormouse would probably be pretty good friends! As far as I can tell anyway!
ReplyDeleteboy, i'm jealous, i've always wanted to wake up smelling my own butthole and feet
ReplyDeleteOOOOHHH... a rodent rolled into a cute little ball! How original! Well I'm not falling for it!
ReplyDelete*sniff* Aww...
OK. I fell for it. He's just lucky he's not an edible dormouse.
I'm not willing to let the dormouse off so easy. If he'd handled his liquor better, he wouldn't have found himself in this mess. Fucking lightweight.
ReplyDeleteYou call it a camera. I call it a WMD. You’ve totally fucked this little guy’s chances. A rose??? Any lady dormouse who sees this will have one thought: Pussy.
ReplyDeleteHe deserves every little thing he gets - the stupid a**hole.
ReplyDeleteThat link you've posted goes to what my computer is calling a "reported attack site." What the hell?
ReplyDeleteIt gets worse, next the wildlife people that rescued him from the photographer is putting him in a coconut to sleep in. The poor guy just never gets a break!
ReplyDeleteTwo assholes for the price of one? That's fucking great. What the hell is a dor anyway Dormouse? Is it short for dorkus extremus? If I could, I would spit in your face Dormouse. And if I ever see you in public, photographer, I'm gonna bitch slap you! Believe it!
ReplyDeleteThis picture is made by Richard Austin the photographer of the most cutest things on earth!
ReplyDeleteAs soon as we start pissing off the animals,
ReplyDeletethat's when they're all going to bond together and fucking come to KILL US.
Shush. Let da widdle thing sleep.
ReplyDeleteThen slam him and that rose in a book later on and let them dry for a month.
Resulting "Pressed Flower and Dormouse" picture will be framed and sit on my mantle.
i bet this dipshit photographer also made this his default on eharmony...
ReplyDeletereal nice photographer... what the hell is wrong with you?!?!
Very true. I feel so bad for him that he was used like that. Also, I feel bad for him that he obviously has to smell his own farts while asleep. Not cool dormouse.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Poor lil thing!!
ReplyDeletejust wait for the glitter graphic on this to pop up as the next biggest MySpace comment
ReplyDeletesincere regret,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com
that adorable, little punk.
ReplyDeleteonly one thing to say about this: Photoshop, bitches!
ReplyDeletehe was their friend
ReplyDelete.....
HE WAS THEIR FRIEND![/HPPoA]
All "Animal lovers", are suspect
ReplyDeleteYou know I worked my ass off to make payments on my sleep number mattress, had to wait forever for its delivery, had to fiddle around to find my right number and get it all comfy...and as soon as I get it all sorted out and I'm finally having a restful slumber...here comes this asshole sleeping on a rose to show me just how green the grass is on the other side! Thanks MEffer!
ReplyDeleteThat ohotographer should be locked up.
ReplyDeleteFUCK YOU MOUSE
ReplyDeleteJerk photographer didn't even leave any room to tuck the dudes Dignity in with him. At least that way the Dormouse could have brushed it off for next time. Now there is. no. hope.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for him too.
ReplyDeleteNo one ever curls me up and puts me on a rose when I'm drunk, they usually just throw a blanket on me. I have it made compared to this guy....
Dear Dormouse,
ReplyDeleteNext time you go drinking, please be aware of your dangerous surroundings.
Regards,
Everyone
http://regardseveryone.blogspot.com/
I'm sorry, but that itty bitty mini-guy is precious. I wanna pick him up and cuddle him and kiss on him and all that cutesy stuff, so stop fucking with him.
ReplyDeleteSomeone did that to me, once.
ReplyDeleteNow here's a little critter you need to be telling it straight to!
ReplyDeleteThat's just like that photgrapher Anne Geddes who exploited children by dressing them up as bees and putting them in watering cans! Those kids would be young adults now and are probably seriously damaged.
ReplyDelete1. I totally agree with clubwah- Anne Geddes must be stopped.
ReplyDelete2. I noticed this in the article: "But his blissful slumber was rudely interrupted by a dog."
What an asshole. Dormouse was trying to sleep off his hangover, and that asshat comes along. Jerk.
This is what happens when you "befriend" the Media. Learn your lesson you jerk!
ReplyDeleteI think the photog should be required to grow a tail and shove a thorny rose up his arse for a photo op. Oh yeah ... that poor little mousey guy, never knew what hit him, right? Am I right?
ReplyDeleteYeah ... I am
Hilrious blog!
I once sat that little fucking mouse on my ass-hole. Photograph that.
ReplyDeleteDamn good thing Shakespeare didn't see this photo, or we might have ended up with something like:
ReplyDeleteO, be some other name!/ What's in a name? that which we call a rose/By any other name would smell as a rodent's arse....
Just be glad that rose wasn't glistening with dewdrops. He'd never live that shit down.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHe's trying to lick his own balls.
ReplyDeleteThis is the funniest blog evaaahhhh! I'm looking forward to your book coming out in August. It'll make a sweet gift; better yet, it'll be perfect for a curmudgeon like me!
ReplyDeleteYou know what's even LESS fucking cool? That you haven't won a god-forsaken Blogger's Choice Award. I had to get off my lazy ass and nominate you mySELF. Ingrate.
ReplyDeleteYou mighta' won it in China, but who the frig can even TELL? The fuckin' panda ain't talkin'. Hairy little bitch...
Poor thing!
ReplyDeleteNice blog!
=)
That...is the cutest thing ever. Diabolically cute. WMD cute.
ReplyDeleteDormouse is bitesize
ReplyDelete