FUCK! Horses were all prance-y and I could ride them and shit. It was totally kick-ass. At one point, I even said "Who needs the ocean when you have horses?" And I lived my life like that meant something. Now, I see a seahorse and that all goes out the window. How did you get the head of a horse? That shit is I-N-S-A-N-E.
Often times, animals with combo names are total crap, like that porcupinefish from last week. (wtf? Still not over it, get a real name, loser.) But this fucker really lives up to his billing, and I'm not going to let him get away with it. Yeah, I see the curved tail, and I know the males have babies (apparently nature's rules don't apply to everyone if you're "special" enough). But that doesn't give him the right to simultaneously look like a horse, some coral, a fluke, and a creamsicle. Pick a style and run with it, Seahorse. Stop freaking me out and let me have the normal horses that eat apples and let flies sit on their eyeballs.
Hahaha! Too funny :)
ReplyDeleteI lost $500 on a Seahorse race once. The fix was in... Bastards.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIf I were a mermaid, I would totally have an army of sea horses wearing fez hats to pull my royal carriage. (Obviously If I were a mermaid, I'd be a princess too.)
ReplyDeleteFlicka, Flicka Flicka, king of the ocean, ocean, ocean...I predict a Disney film...
ReplyDeleteYou're not really a seahorse at all, seahorse. You're not even related to horses.
ReplyDeleteYou just have a long nose and neck, and people are too dumb to differentiate that from what a horse looks like.
So fuck you and your awesomeness!
ahh yes, seahorses, the most pussy whipped of all in the animal kingdom. the males carry the babies. great job seahorses
ReplyDeleteHaven't these creatures heard of intellectual property right? I mean, do you ever see horses flouncing around looking like something with gills? Ever heard of a barnfish?
ReplyDeleteSo a seahorse walks into a bar. That's wrong for a start. (They would kind of *hover prissily* into a bar.) The barman says, "Why the long face? You're a fucking fish! Stop it!"
Haha when I was little I found Seahorses very fascinatig...
ReplyDeleteFuck You, Seahorse.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you go find yourself some Sea Monkeys, and start your own little Sea Circus. Freak.
What's with the prehensile tail? It's not like it has to fly through the sea, swinging from one piece of coral to the next.
ReplyDeleteCopies the horse's head and the monkey's tail. Nothing original here.
I'm a little concerned that seahorses look kind of like anteaters.
ReplyDeleteNo Kentucky Derby though. How pathetic! Cool how you do all the birth crap. thanks for that, dude....
ReplyDeleteThat seahorse is the same color as my mother-in-law's hair.
ReplyDeleteSeahorse, you give Stay-at-home-dads agita. Are THEY going to have to start having the babies now as well as quitting their jobs and running the kids here, there and everywhere? Do you CARPOOL Seahorse? I didn't think so. Loser. Quit having the babies so human dads don't have to keep up. Geeze.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, seahorse.
ReplyDeleteYou're not a horse, you just live in the sea. Quit acting so silly and look like a real fish already!
none of you are funny
ReplyDelete..brilliant..
ReplyDeleteFUCK YEAH! There needs to be a SEA PONY EXPRESS! I can see it now, Aqua-cowboys with underwater lariat skills, roping Manatee's and whales and hagin out Aqua-cowgirls and branding sharks as to like, mark their cattle and shit! Doin all that shit on the backs of GIANT SEAHORSES! FUCKIN-A DUDE!
ReplyDeleteDear Seahorses,
ReplyDeleteYou are a crime against nature.
Regards,
Everyone
http://regardseveryone.blogspot.com/PS: Haha. This also reminds me of that Dan Deacon video with the lizard! "Drinking out of cups" ... skip to about the 2m 7s mark and you'll see the bit about seahorses: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skCV2L0c6K0
Seriously, head of a horse! Stupid fish who thinks he is a stallion! Who does shit like this except sea-(w)horses?
ReplyDelete;)
ReplyDeleteyou finally did it...
ReplyDeleteyou made fun of my favorite animal....
they are so cute....
i want to keep one in my pocket and feed it M&M's.
Love,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com
http://nicoleburron.blogspot.com
Can I ride you, seahorse?
ReplyDeleteNo?
Then quit calling yourself a horse. Lying little bastard. Maybe change it to "seafreak", because that's what you are.
Freak.
Creamsicle??
ReplyDeleteNow I want one. Mew.
I think its just a plastic bath toy anyways!
ReplyDeleteSeahorse that rides the seven seas
ReplyDeleteYou evolved way before land horsies
Unlike those domesticated 4-leggers
Asian-mystic-fucks grind ur carcasses
Ostensibly to harden their penises
Swim free fair seahorses, swim free!
Kinda makes up for SAWHORSES, which don't look like horses at all, don't even have a head, usually. Just a bunch of boards nailed together. Yee-haw, ride 'em cowboy...
ReplyDeleteThe only thing worse than a seahorse is a Leafy Sea Dragon.
ReplyDeleteSeahorse, seahorse,
ReplyDeleteBet you have remorse
That you weren't born with legs,
And all your males lay eggs.
But that's okay,
We still like you.
Even more disturbing: the leafy sea dragon. This thing doesn't know whether it's a horse, a seahorse, a dragon, or a plant.
ReplyDeleteDo they make dogfish food out of seahorses?
ReplyDeleteYou should read about their sex life
ReplyDeleteZOMG, loveeee seahorses [= Preeeetttyyy
ReplyDeleteLess interested in "real horses" - wash your key board out with soap!
ReplyDeleteThis line is genius. How did you get the head of a horse? That shit is I-N-S-A-N-E.
ReplyDeleteMales have the freaken babies!!??? You asshole!! There is no freaken excuse for doing that. What the hell happened dude. You've changed.
ReplyDeleteAnd how to treat lameness in seahorses? Do they swim horizontally?
ReplyDeletewhen i was little, i used to write book reports about seahorses and give them to my mom.
ReplyDelete(yes, i wrote book reports for fun)
i was hoping it would lead to her buying me my own seahorse as a pet.
it never worked.
"...and let flies sit on their eyeballs."
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT!
Hhahahahah you are fucking brilliant and I love you.....now come by my blog I have a woodpecker story that's right down your alley....I think I can say fuck you woodpecker.
ReplyDeleteCheers
JB
i knew a seahorse a long time ago.
ReplyDeletepostmodern.
and a creamsicle rofl
ReplyDeleteI am SO JEALOUSE of these hor-al-uke-sicles. RAR! SMASH!
ReplyDeletehave you seen these cocky fuckers? http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/efc/seahorse.aspx
ReplyDeleteoh my goodness, this is hilarious!!
ReplyDelete...But male seahorses don't have the babies. The eggs are laid into a pouch on the male by the female. They're like...marsupials underwater.
ReplyDelete