Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Tasmanian devils misrepresent themselves


I went all the way to Tasmania to meet a Tasmanian devil I met online because I thought he was going to be super awesome. But instead of seeing the guy who was in the picture he had posted, I got this small dog-looking marsupial. Quite frankly, I was pretty disappointed, because if an animal is going to take the time to get to know me online, the least they can do is be honest with me.

So fuck you, Tasmanian Devil. Don't give me that "I know I was lying to you but look how hard I'm trying now" look, because I'm going to need a formal apology, AND IT BETTER NOT COME IN THE FORM OF YOU USING YOUR WHISKERS TO DETECT PREY IN THE DARK. I know all of your tricks, Tasmanian Devil. Your reign of terror is over.
at

41 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 22, 2009 at 5:47 AM

    Yeah fuck you Tasmanian Devil. You'll be the devil of me yet! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Devil's Daughter-In-LawApril 22, 2009 at 5:50 AM

    You know who is the REAL Devil?

    My mother-in-law.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ChoppyApril 22, 2009 at 6:02 AM

    What's up with looking like you have four ears, tasmanian devil? That's fucked up, even for a creature from hell.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ms Brown MouseApril 22, 2009 at 6:04 AM

    You know these poor little buggers are all dying of Devil Facial Tumour Disease - go here and help if you can - http://www.tassiedevil.com.au/

    ReplyDelete
  5. BarbApril 22, 2009 at 6:34 AM

    It's put a fake head on that picture. You can see the white join mark.

    ReplyDelete
  6. WalterApril 22, 2009 at 6:36 AM

    You're not the first to be fooled. That necklace was expensive, Tasmanian Devil.

    ReplyDelete
  7. MakuluwoApril 22, 2009 at 6:41 AM

    LOL!
    I love you, Fuckyoupenguin. ;D

    ReplyDelete
  8. KurtApril 22, 2009 at 6:48 AM

    You don't even spin real fast or eat holes in trees or anything, Tasmanian Devil. You're pretty much an asshole.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Tom BoutellApril 22, 2009 at 6:50 AM

    I made a vitally important mashup of Fuck You Penguin and Look At This Fucking Hipster. I commend it to your attention.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousApril 22, 2009 at 7:11 AM

    And did he also make that awful sound that they can produce?

    ReplyDelete
  11. UnknownApril 22, 2009 at 7:16 AM

    ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. MotorCopApril 22, 2009 at 7:29 AM

    And what's with your maniacal drum playing? Oh wait...that's Animal from the muppets.

    Nevermind. Carry on.

    ReplyDelete
  13. BrookeApril 22, 2009 at 7:30 AM

    :D Best one you've done in a while.

    ReplyDelete
  14. MaraApril 22, 2009 at 8:22 AM

    I think he's cute...you can send him my way since you're not interested!

    ReplyDelete
  15. GraApril 22, 2009 at 9:06 AM

    Yes, yes, we all know the image of the Tasmanian Devil as an aggressive manly beast, but as FUP points out the truth is 180 degrees from this. They are in fact insatiable bottoms, never happier than when they are on their knees about to try on a pearl necklace. Look at this one saying "give it to me stud". It's disgusting and i think something should be done about it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Laila PApril 22, 2009 at 9:08 AM

    Hahahahaha! Brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
  17. gregoryyyApril 22, 2009 at 9:39 AM

    Did you get one " I went all the way to Tasmania to meet a Tasmanian ..." T-shirts?

    That really really looks like the jumbo-rats that run around in my hood(daytime).

    Glad you made it back safe.

    ReplyDelete
  18. PhilBApril 22, 2009 at 9:44 AM

    Yeah...FU TD!!! I grew up watching you in cartoons. Then when I saw you in real life...you're a fucking dog with a strange-shaped head.

    I hate you TD...HATE!! You don't spin around and make that funny sound or nothin. FUCK YOU!!!!

    THANKS FOR RUINING MY FUCKING CHILDHOOD!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Soda and CandyApril 22, 2009 at 10:31 AM

    Don't let his size fool you, Tasmanian devils are badass. They will fuck your shit up.

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousApril 22, 2009 at 11:23 AM

    Taz growls snarkily at the humans viewing him virtually. "Fuck you human plague, I'm too busy going extinct in hopes to meet up with my marsupial buddy Thylacine to bother with your species' twisted sense of what I am. Fucking enjoy the Earth without me, and may your existence be as two dimensional as your perception of my kind."

    ReplyDelete
  21. nature show hostApril 22, 2009 at 12:28 PM

    The same damn thing happened to me with a wombat!! So lame....

    Fuck you Australian marsupials, you all suck!!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Jessica MooneyApril 22, 2009 at 12:30 PM

    Did you ever wonder why they keep you on one island Tasmanian Devil? To keep you away from the rest of the world! You're a very bad animal, Devil. Very bad.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Mike The SpikeApril 22, 2009 at 12:41 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Mike The SpikeApril 22, 2009 at 12:44 PM

    And why do you got to be so stuck up? That whole "looking down your nose" at somebody thing doesn't work when you barely come up to their ankles. Fuck you Tasmanian Devil.

    Nobody likes a short dick.

    ReplyDelete
  25. ZenGrouchApril 22, 2009 at 2:14 PM

    Tasmanian Devil: Mainly feeds on naive masseuses, met on the internet, as they're trying to pull their floded massage table down into it's burrow.

    ReplyDelete
  26. ZenGrouchApril 22, 2009 at 2:31 PM

    A few hundred years ago the Tasmanian Devil was actually quite docile, feeding mostly on twigs and berries...

    ...Years of sexual abuse at the hands of castaway British scum, turned them mean.

    zengrouch.com

    ReplyDelete
  27. AnonymousApril 22, 2009 at 2:53 PM

    And you know what else? It's Earth Day. The least this freak could have done is respect the inherent worth of all living things and shown you the respect you deserve, FUP.

    ReplyDelete
  28. JApril 22, 2009 at 4:18 PM

    So typical of the Tasmanian Devil. Trying to trick honest people. little motherfucker. www.johnincharge.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  29. JApril 22, 2009 at 9:47 PM

    Dear Tasmanian Devil,

    You give all those other Tasmanian Devils a bad name.

    For shame.


    Regards,
    Everyone
    http://regardseveryone.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  30. WR April 22, 2009 at 10:04 PM

    Okay, FUP... exactly which internet dating service did you use?

    ReplyDelete
  31. cermedesApril 22, 2009 at 10:52 PM

    you don't look anything like the tattoo on my ankle tasmanian devil. i always knew you were a complete and utter fraud. now kindly tuck in your snaggle tooth. that's jewel's trademark.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Ms UnreliableApril 23, 2009 at 12:21 AM

    Lying bastard. I bet his internet dating profile said he was single too. LIES! He's married and has 4216 kids.

    ReplyDelete
  33. AnonymousApril 23, 2009 at 8:41 AM

    Oh, man. Your site is hilarious.

    http://cuteobsession.com

    ReplyDelete
  34. TorontoVetApril 23, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    Same thing happened to me but it ended well: it was the Tasmanian Devil from "Looney Tunes," and he's just adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  35. matatattApril 23, 2009 at 11:45 AM

    Fuck you Tasmanian Devil go stick your head in your pouch and hide

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnonymousApril 24, 2009 at 1:37 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  37. AnonymousApril 24, 2009 at 3:08 PM

    Put this little 2-bit loser into a blender and turn it up to 11. THEN maybe he'd look a little bit like those bullshit lying cartoons say he looks.

    ReplyDelete
  38. TGIkatyApril 25, 2009 at 12:53 PM

    Fuck you Tasmanian Devil for never coming out to let me see you at the Zoo.

    ReplyDelete
  39. AnonymousMay 1, 2009 at 2:45 AM

    This is hilarious! You've got me all in stitches.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Kendra HollidayMay 1, 2009 at 4:11 AM

    Should be called Tasmanian Puppy.

    ReplyDelete
  41. riverJuly 18, 2009 at 9:40 PM

    I found this page accidentally whilest googling "Fuck Tasmania". I think the blanket approach "Fark the whole Island" covers anything you might have missed, flora and fauna inclusive.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.