Petting zoos are a hotbed of animal hubris. With children constantly saying how cute they are, it's important to let the goats know that not everybody is on their dicks 24/7. This dandy here hasn't gotten nearly enough humble pie, because he apparently thinks he's next in line on the runway in fucking Milan. Ummm, not every goat just gets to lie around all day waiting for little 6 year olds to come and rub them behind the ears. Some goats actually have to work hard all day to find 6 year olds to rub them behind the ears.
What I'm trying to say, Goat, is that you can't have this carrot. I know I promised it to you earlier in a moment of weakness, but I also know goats can't use tape recorders, and there are limited legal avenues that you can pursue. TIME TO FEND FOR YOURSELF, GOAT. Hey- no- stop doing that! Ah... dammit.
26 comments:
And, Goat, that has got to be the worst imitation of Billy Gibbons I have ever seen!
Sharp-dressed bovidae, my ass!
I have a nice goatskin jacket I enjoy wearing to the local petting zoo.
That tends to put them in their places.
Fucking arrogant ass goats think it's SO easy to get a head rub from an unassuming child. Do me a favor, goat, and clip that hair in front of your eyes. Who do you think you are, some Hollywood movie star that can hide behind his shades all day?! I can't stand you, goat, but your cheese is quite tasty in my salad...
and what's with your pupils going the wrong way? WTF? you just HAD to be different. it's not cute, it creeps me out and i am not spending a quarter to give you pellets, have my hand get messy and smell like ass.
but i WILL have a goat cheese pizza any day, just don't give me stink-eye with those fucked up pupils.
and i am SO honored to give you inspiration.
Like any other washed up celebrity, he looks doped out as well. Hmm...is that your scam goat? Are you using children to get you the dope?
Ok, Goat, having your bangs tinted like that just makes me want to smack you...and don't scapegoat your overpaid stylist.
I've got one word for you, Goat.
Soup.
Goats. Everyone knows they're the whores of the petting zoo.
what's with the fringey bangs, goat? you think you're a hipster or something? like you're cool cuz you have two toned hair, bangs that cover your eyes, and ironic facial hair?
That goat is a total emo kid.
That's the same goat I saw cutting off an old lady in the cross walk today.
Goat cheese sucks. One reason I hate goats. He seems to have attitude too. I never thought about it before. You think you're special goat? Are you punk, emo, or an unshaved hippie? Make up your mind goat. Your eyes are weird and you creep me out.
Such an adorable, clueless, silly beastie cannot be tolerated. And so entitled.
Merry fucking Christmas?
http://www.zooborns.com/zooborns/2008/12/otter-you-glad-for-the-holidays.html
I saw that goat on TMZ. She flashed her hunaner getting out of her Jag, then hoof-slapped a paparazzi.
i think adam sandler said, "well fuck me in the goatass"
The problem with goats is that they have tiny penises. Gotta play up that "I'm so awesome" thing so the chix will notice 'em. Why do you think goats are the catchers?
I met this goat when he was playing bass for Skynyrd. He's not only a huge cockface, but he's unrepentant about walking around, begging for attention all day. Actually, I think he's a she-goat.
Dumb whore goatess.
Know what that goat is saying? It's saying, "Eat me, muthaf***er!" You gonna let him talk to you like that? Huh?
damn you goat, for having a cooler haircut than me.
i hate you!
Hey you stupid piece of shit goat...your hairpiece looks ridiculous. Everybody knows you're chrome-doming it under there so, dammit just own it.
God, what an asshole. Even by goat standards.
Discovered your blog 3 days ago and I think it's fucking criminal to deprive of my sleep and keep my neighbors awake with the sound of my loud laughter while going through the entire archives. Certainly among the most consistently funny and clever blogs I have ever encountered.
"work hard all day" picture made me lawlz for like ten minutes.
Paula Abdul wants her bangs back ya thievin' little barn dweller!
Looks like Brad Pitt in one of those period pieces. I mean, Baaah-d Pitt.
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