Friday, July 17, 2009

Are you shitting on my book?

Owls think everything about owl civilization is better than everything about human civilization. That is why this pretentious prick (whose goddamn name is Sanders) is pretending to sun himself on this table, but is in fact VIOLATING THE SYMBOL OF ALL THAT IS KNOWLEDGE AND MEANING.

What's worse is that he is teaching the next generation of owls to shit on us too. (Don't even get me started on that blog. A whole blog dedicated to raising an owl? THIS OWL?!? Why don't you just invent a time machine so you can actually stab Plato in the back?) There's no way I'm buying the whole sun thing, either. I know what you're doing, Owl. Stop disrespecting humanity, put your wings away, and make your kids look less weird so I don't want to teach them the secrets of humanity.


Anonymous said...

Lol, I've never seen an owl chillin like that...

The Silver Spring Penguin said...

Why are its wings splayed out like that? Are you sure it's just shitting on the book - or is it humping it?

Perverted fucker.

. said...

America's Next Top Model LOOK OUT ... what a poser!

Anonymous said...

Who said you could take a break, Owl? Get moving, the mail is not going to deliver itself.

Michael Jason said...

He thinks he is a solar panel! Too late Owl, being 'green' and 'environmentally conscious' is soo last year. Why don't you and Al Gore, hold hands and skip on down to burning man. Damn hippy.

Anonymous said...

"Give a hoot don't pollute" my ass... I am ashamed that this creature is my universities mascot...

James Estall said...

Stupid owl - made a break for it, flew into window, fell onto desk, pooped on book with fright! Arse!

Lisa said...

Have you seen this bizarro site:

Animals With Casts:

Very strange yet cute, in a "Boxing Helena" sort of way.


trulymadlydeeply said...

You've got it all wrong. Again. Sigh.

The owl is notorious for claiming books as its mating ground. That wing stance and 1/2 on, 1/2 off the book lounge is how it readys (no pun) itself for copulation.

I wouldn't stare too deep into its eyes at moments like those if you are not an owl as well. You see, sex and agression are closely linked, that book underneath his loins probably goes into this more at length.
Regardless, he might beak your eyes out if you're not careful.

DH said...

The bird isn't shitting on the is learning through owlsmosis.

Pretty Zesty said...

That bird is chillin' like a villain! Agreed, get back to work, Owl! Harry Potter will get pissed!

Unknown said...


Hayley said...

this owl disturbs me. everything about it is pure evil. you can tell by its eyes...

Anonymous said...

Isn't it stapled to the page? FU JK Rowlings and your new Harry Potter pop-up book!

Michaela said...

He looks like he is doing owl yoga or prepping for a Cirque D' Soleil audition

Anonymous said...

That is one relaxed bird.

Unknown said...

THAT is one steely glare!

Byron said...

So much for wisdom, huh owl? You'd rather leave a pellet than take a lesson. said...

He's totally trying to steal those coins to buy some more heroine. Get up, Owl. Go do something with your life!

@whut said...

Better than to "shat on the flag" in the words of David Cross playing Ben Franklin.

Kat said...

Who the fuck taught this owl to smile with its fucking eyes? Mother of fuck.

Dee said...

What the hell kind of name is "Sanders"? The only way he could sound more arrogant would be if he were wearing a monocle and top hat.

Anonymous said...

As usual, the Onion sums up my thoughts perfectly on this matter:


WR said...

Looks like alcohol abuse to me...hope they took his driver's license away!

nltisme said...

What an arrogant, self righteous looking bastard. Bet he is a fundamentalist religious whacko too!

Mike! said...

That fucking owl is drunk, plain, simple, no questions asked. Just look at this complete asshole. What a jerk. I'm talking flat out falling ass down shitfaced. And so is his jack ass fucking buddy for that matter. I guess these miserable fucking owls are all just worthless drunks. I mean, even the little fucker is clearly piss drunk. He didn't shit the book, he puked on it and fell in it. Oh, and he's not a happy drunk ether, the kind that are a million laughs and fun to be around. No, he's a stinking mean ass drunk, the kind that pukes on your nice book, wallers in it then laughs about it to your face, with owl barf breath. He'll take your last beer and cuss you for being out, then break something. I don't care if you can turn your head all the way around, you know that's just Linda fucking Blair creepy. Worthless drunk fucker.

Anonymous said...

weird, but owls remind me of Harry Potter.

BioPeach said...

Funny, I was just reading Harry Potter and my parakeet shitted on it- why are birds so anti-literate?

Anne H said...

"Hairy Pot-Head" from the looks of this pic!

Grahame said...

Clearly this is some kind of post-modern owl who thinks reading a book and fucking a book with his little owl penis has equal narrative value.

Farnnay said...


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Unknown said...

What would be hilarious is if that book was a copy of Harry Potter


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