Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Clearly, lemurs have zero personality

>>ANIMALS IN THE NEWS WEEK<<
I don't know about you people, but it is incredibly easy for me to tell the difference between my mother and a teddy bear. This lemur, however, cannot seem to figure out that this is not his mother. Hasn't the lemur figured out that the teddy bear hasn't moved in, like, ever? Conclusion: hanging out with a lemur is like hanging out with a stuffed animal.

The other alternative, of course, is that this lemur is a fucking idiot. The mother realized this at some point, and while her dumbass kid was sleeping one night, she quietly slipped out of the baby lemur's arms and replaced herself with a teddy bear so she could go start a new, better family. I actually hope this is true, and that lemurs in general aren't totally lame, because I expect this sort of thing from hedgehogs (boo-ring), but lemurs really ought to know better.

48 comments:

yellaphant said...

Oh my god it's little fingers are clawing into my soul.

Walter said...

Lemur, what if th eanimals that want to eat you learn that you're dumb enough to think stuffed animals are your mom? They'll have a sure fire trap, and we'll all walk around the jungle tripping over stuffed animals.

Jessica Mooney said...

Do lemurs REALLY know better? I don't think so. I mean, look at those soul-less eyes! It's just plain creepy and totally wrong on so many levels. You'll find no sympathy here for lemurs OR hedgehogs. Ever.

Unknown said...

Seriously, look at those fingers! They look like the fingers of the grim reaper!!! Stay the fuck away from me Mr. Death!

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic said...

I like how the Teddy Bear looks strangely disturbed and violated by the whole thing...

Anonymous said...

Hey that is the awesomely tiny cute baby lemur Tahina that was also on Holy Cuteness.

Steve said...

stupid f****ng lemur! I may have died a little inside

Colleen said...

Hilarious from start to finish!

Baking and Mistaking said...

Hey!
My mom did that to me, too.
One day, it was hey mom, whats up.
The next it was, whoah mom, you look kind of...stuffed.

Unknown said...

It's all a ruse...you get closer to it to "oooo" and "awwww", and then it uses those friggin' alien fingers to poke out your eyes, reaching in through you eye sockets to feast upon your delicious brains.

DH said...

Now what would be cool if that was a real grizzly playing a stuffed bear...then he comes to life...and the next thing you know, appetizer a'la lemur!

wombat said...

You have hit the mark today, penguin. I have known some lemurs personally and it is exactly correct that they have the brains of a stuffed animal. But you wouldn't believe the shit they get away with anyway because they are SO FREAKING CUTE.

get in here said...

Your mother looks like a bear.

M@ said...

I've read that chimpanzees have photographic memories.

Fuck THEM, too.

Liz Wilkey (a.k.a. A Mom on Spin) said...

that bear is creeping me out. , ,

Janine / Being Brazen said...

Oh my goodness I am having a cuteness overload here....I cant stop looking at the cute lemur...

SJO said...

Yo mama shits in da woods!

Mame said...

Googly eyed freaks.

Melody! said...

It is very and more than likely evident, that that there lemur would give me a very good backscratching! I must look into getting one of these things! I will put this lemur thing on my back and me and this lemur will walk in the woods with fully bellies at sundown!

I will look into doing these things!

JediJeff said...

Wait until he tries to nurse that stuffed bear.

Rude awakening.

Unknown said...

The bear looks like it's a little surprised cuz the lemur just tweaked its nipple.

dreXeL said...

i hug my giant plushy cow and i know she's not my mom.

skwilli said...

Lemurs are almost a monkey!

Reed said...

Idiot lemurs need love, too!

ghersionmyjersey said...

awesome.

Ms Martyr said...

Wait a darn minute. I thought lemurs liked to "Move It, Move It"

Will Niccolls said...

That's not a lemur, that's the offspring of gollum and the stuffed animal for chrissakes.

Barry Newsdesk said...

I am consistently outraged by your posts. Well done.

mrbarrington said...

That poor lemur. He's having an identity crisis. Doesn't that get him anything?

get in here said...

Hedgehogs aren't boring, they are self-centred little fuck nuggets.

Steph(anie) said...

It's time someone tells YOU what's what. Leave that adorable fucking lemur alone and pick on someone your own size. Yeah, I said it, what are you going to do about it?

morbidlylila said...

Just to be fair.... I say..... fuck the bear too! REALLY! Does he think he's so cute too! WTF!

Anonymous said...

....the eyes....

DKG aka Scrappy Doo said...

Just what are you looking @ Lemur?

Anonymous said...

Oh god. It's got me. It really has. Some of your other pictures, I could live with. But THIS?!? THIS!!!???

Oh god. My heart is melting. I caught myself doing that little 'awwwww...' smile in spite of myself. Damn.

Great blog btw. =]

kristine said...

Um, that's not a teddy bear. That's a teddy LEMUR. Duh.

GreatSheElephant said...

damn, how did I never realise before? This explains so much about my childhood

Lee Bemrose said...

Baby zombie. Easier to pronounce than "lemur."

Kennedy Smith said...

Hey, not all lemurs are totally lame: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epJTvIlk4hM

Though this one humps gumball machines. Also, he "doesn't panel well," limiting his talk-show viability.

Christine said...

Not the mama!

Laura said...

You, sir, have clearly never had one of them jump on your head before because he's trying to be friendly.

Jamie said...

oh my god stop it. please please please stop it. please please please please please stop.

JKenny said...

Not only does that pipsqueak have the brains of a dehydrated pea, but the sick little incestuous fuck is trying to cop a feel on his own mother (or so the dipshit thinks)! Yuuck! I think I'm gong to throw up the spaghetti i had for dinner...

Unknown said...

Holy crap, I can't stop laughing. Good stuff.

Unknown said...

the other youtube video of supposedly cool lemurs mentioned by Kennedy has been yanked but while investigating it, i saw this. The millipedes who suffer daily at the hands of these crack whore lemurs are the real victims and they need a support group or a facebook page or something. i don't even know what to say about the monkeys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HN46PjBbns0

Unknown said...

Lay off the baby lemur, jeez! Just because his mom left him and he's trying to hold on to something soft for comfort doesn't mean he's stupid! HE'S ADORABLE!!!!!!!!

Ann Sterzinger said...

awwwwwwwwwwwwww my brain just ran away and joined the pet store...

The Wang said...

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others are SesliSohbet, Sesli Sohbet thinking out of the [cake] box, too!