One month from yesterday, the biggest sham in the animal world is back: the World's Ugliest Dog Contest at the Sonoma-Marin Fair. When I first heard about the Ugliest Dog Contest, I thought "This is something I can get behind." I mean, ugly dogs are great. You get to play catch without all the shame and feelings of regret you get with a cute dog.
Then I watched a special on the contest on the Animal Planet. THESE DOGS ARE FUCKING ADORABLE. Take fucking Gus here. First of all HIS NAME IS GUS. Plus, he has three legs, almost no hair, and fucking cancer. Who is going to not have affection for Gus? Satan? GUS IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF BERNIE MADOFF.
As if that wasn't bad enough, Gus then died of his cancer, which meant I had to to donate more money to the National Canine Cancer Foundation, WHICH I HATE DOING. But don't worry,
Not for me, though. I watch it for research.
29 comments:
"Who is going to not have affection for Gus? Satan?"
LOL - nicely put. These ugly dogs are full of emotional manipulation. You want to judge and laugh at them...But then you end up loving them. THEY ARE THE DOG VERSION OF SUSAN BOYLE!
Keep writing.
http://www.grinandbeerit.blogspot.com
Is there a requirement that you have to have your tongue hanging out of the side of your mouth to even qualify for the ugliest dog contest?
I actually saw Elwood in person a couple years ago at a Pet Expo. Yes I went to a Pet Expo.
I don't think Gus beats Elwood but I don't want to talk ill of the deceased.
Dammit Gus! Way to twist the knife in my back. I, mean, you were so ugly you were cute and then you're gone just when I began to care about you! It's cruel and unfair. I miss you! Come back! Please!
No question--something I learned long ago is that dog "ugliness" is simple hidden cuteness...and a major part of their plot to dominate the human race (which, obviously, they're doing pretty well at...I mean, how many species do you know of that walk around waiting for another species to crap and then pick it up for them?
i see a trend here...no hair, oversized tongue.....they are just ripping of each other!
love,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com
I miss the good old days when ugly creatures would slink off and be ashamed of themselves.
This is disgusting.
Ugly dog, but ugly dogs need love too...
OK, Gus had cancer. That didn't excuse the narcissistic little look he was giving the camera. He's on his back getting his belly rubbed yet he couldn't reciprocate all that love and affection. Nope - he's checking to see if he might find just a little more adoration waiting in the wings. Sad.
...and Elwood is clearly high.
Sorry, but Archie also died last year. Looks like you'll need to donate to a Chinese Crested foundation, or something.
Oh you ugly, cute things. I can't look at you in the eyes, because you are missing one. You poor, pathetic creatures.
Bless you, bless you, bless you. Win that ugly dog contest up in heaven.
Peace,
Phil
how the hell did elwood get a mohawk?
Gus rhymes with pus.
That is all the reason you need to love and animal.
Elwood looks like Yoda puking up a pink wash cloth after a three day bender. Stupid ugly-cute dog!
My own dog has this deceptive quality. If we cut his hair short, he almost looks ugly, but if his hair is long, he's cute as hell... Ohhh that Bailey is a real class A con artist... making me love him by using all his disgustingly cute tricks. I mean just look at him in this before and after pic... http://i44.tinypic.com/i6l7x3.jpg ...my avitar alone show's his disgusting decpetion, curling his tongue all cutely.
He's really just disgusting.
i just...i can't...really...ok, dogs are my #1 favorite animal... i just can't find anything wrong with these horrible cute little creatures!!!!
These little fuckers GLOW IN THE DARK.. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/27/glowing-baby-monkeys-marm_n_208296.html
But seriously? I was so much happier before I saw that picture of Elwood. Dear God. It's like that time I saw pictures of Tara Reid's botched tummy tuck.
If you'll excuse me, I have to go wash my eyeballs and brain.
NQbass7, that was a seriously funny comment. And I'm in the hospital right now. And still found it funny.
Seriously.
I met Elwood. He's a local, and I got to pet him. He makes you want to protect him and make sure every thing is ok for him. How does he do that??? It's just not fair!
Elwood is clearly not a dog, but a Gremlin. That is Stripe from Gremlins, don't be fooled.
Dog as just too dangerous & sneaky! When they fail to win us over by being loyal no matter what kind of an A.H. we've been, they come at us through the back door and are both Ugly and Hopeless and STILL love us and we haven't changed...we're still human A.H's
The cards are stacked. It is a rigged game. I'm going to confront my 3 legged dog with the facts...well...right after I groom & pick up after him and let him cuddle for awhile....
pabst is killing me with cuteness. KILLING ME!!
Yeah, my Uncle's old dog fang won like second place in that thing back in the eighties. Same deal with him - wretched old adorably ugly thing with his tongue eternally lolling out of his mouth.
The uglier one of these is, the harder your heart breaks! Dammit.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWQ4q6iKQJE
I agree that Elwood should elicit no sympathy whatsoever, the fucker had most certainly been making some bones in movies, as well as the roles mentioned he's been seen doing stunt double work for Sam Jackson.
That Elwood should not be eliciting any sympathy whatsover, he's been making some bones on movies for years, as well as the roles already mentioned he's been seen doing stunt double work for Sam Jackson.
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