BREAKING NEWS:
Just one week after the Fuck You, Penguin tipline went live, we have our first major arrests. These assholes were running all over town standing on their hind legs like they were homo fucking sapiens. But thanks to our ever vigilant readers, these pandas will not terrorize innocent civilians any more.
Unfortunately, moments after this photo was taken, these conscienceless, unrepentant bastards decided to hold hands. There were no survivors.
28 comments:
How dare they be so freakin' cute?! I mean don't they consider the pain they're causing people around the world? Its Christmas for Pete's Sake!!
I hope the book is thrown at them. Bastards. They'll probably just get a good lawyer and get off on probation.
Wait, is that a flying monkey?
Too cool.
And take off those ridiculous looking masks. You black and white bastards.
I am pissed off as well but with much less creativity.
Pandas come ONLY from Communist China. Are they really agents of destruction, and possibly in cahoots with the upcoming administration? The Clinton administration may have arranged their preservation and subsequent spread around the world in exchange for massive political donations. Bush only delayed the inevitable by 8 short years. Damn the pandas.
Are those jagoffs SMILING?!
The utter fucking nerve!
I hope the warden is feeding them a couple liverwurst sandwiches instead of their precious bamboo. That'll wipe those damn smirks off their faces...
Is that lust? Or is that murder lurking behind their cold black eyes?
Just asking.
Give Cheney a couple of hours to waterboard those two at Gitmo and we'll see who's doing the fucking smiling now.
Fucking commie bastards. I hope they are waterboarded for the audacious adorability that they exude.
And when they started to make out? I can't lie, I got all melty!
C'mon, that's the fakest pair of panda suits I've ever seen! It's obviously just a couple of pervs with a plushie fetish!
Don't they have showers in Panda jail? Those cute dusty bastards could use some hosing off!
Pandas are evil and they use the 'cute' for so many crimes. It's about time someone locked their black/white asses behind bars. No jury will be impartial due to how cute they are, though, so they won't be found guitly. Fuckers.
My sister just sent me a link to your blog-- you're fucking hilarious.
Merry Merry!
It's a great start but the job is not done people. The problem is everywhere. Just yesterday, I saw two bunny rabbits in a park, nibbling at grass or something. We need more aggressive tactics. Let's start a petition for the govt to start paying people for the tip offs.
Larry and Moe better give up Shemp. God only knows what they know. If we could find a way to know, what they know, we'd know what they know about their next "job".
Our Response
Larry and Moe are on the outside looking in at that poor girl dressed in a prison jumpsuit, being held captive. They're taunting her. Look at the one on the left with his head tipped to the side and the fake, I feel your pain sort of smirk on his face. The one on the right just looks plain dopy. This may need some investigation. FUP may have stumbled onto something here.
OFF WITH THEIR BIG FURRY HEADS!
You're a wiener.
Pandas ares really just fat old men with lots of hair.
Actually, this photo was taken at the Ping-Ping prison in Southern China, and those are in fact the guards. ALso, if you look closely, you can see the prisoner making a feeble attempt at a bribe by passing them a bamboo fatty.
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