Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Are you fucking kidding me, Tamarin?


What are you, in the witness protection program? Or is that supposed to be ironic and you actually hate beards? Honestly, Tamarin, I think it's time to move on to a style that says something other than "I'm a really big fan of the TV show 'Kung Fu.'" And the tail, GOOD FUCKING GOD, MONKEY. There's no excuse for keeping yourself in such shoddy condition. ARE YOU A FUCKING CLEVELAND BROWNS FAN? I'm sure you've gotten away with a lot up to this point in your life because you are a monkey, and the more you look like an old man the more attention you get. But it's time to grow up, Tamarin. Take some responsibility for your actions.

66 comments:

Anonymous said...

You should see the monkeys with willies for noses. Now that's overkill!

Anonymous said...

WHAT A MOUSTACHE!

JAMES WOE said...

when monkey's lick their testicles repeatedly,the hormonal smear upon their faces triggers hair growth...this is really just unfair to criticize this compulsive ball licker...its a condition...like acne factual encyclopedic ball-licking detailed information found here :
www.gizzardsandgravy.blogspot.com

Alex said...

Tamarin...do as the man says. Either wax that fucking beard up or shave it off. I mean you have the makings of a quality handle-bar moustache there...but frankly, you are letting EVEYBODY down.

Jessica Mooney said...

I think it's sexy.

Cindy said...

That is the silliest looking creature I've ever seen.

calicobebop said...

Old monkey men must get lots of play. Can't see any other excuse.

superBadGirl said...

Who does this guy think he is? The Wilford Brimley of monkeys?

DH said...

superBadGirl--you beat me to the Wilford Brimley punch...but the more I look at that Tammy, the more I am convinced Colonel Sanders was pl(f)ucking more than chickens...

Anonymous said...

i read somewhere that facial hair is a sign of a bad economy (i forgot where), maybe he's goin through hard times man

jmac said...

Looks like John Bolton to me

Fizzgig said...

omg he looks like a who from whoville

DH said...

jmac....that opens up the endless debate...is it better to look like John Bolton or Michael Bolton???

Joan of Argghh! said...

I'm surprised he doesn't wear a gold chain around his neck.

Poorly played, Tamarin.

Lulu said...

I think the stache looks like Jamie's from mythbusters:
http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/mythbusters/meet/jamie-hyneman.html
(sorry about the link, I am html ignorant and plan to stay that way)

Anonymous said...

Monkey's are evil. I should know.

cutefuckingkills said...

James Woe said...
when monkey's lick their testicles repeatedly,the hormonal smear upon their faces triggers hair growth...

Thanks for the heads up James Woe.
Now I know why my sweet innocent step-daughter all of the sudden needs a weekly lip wax. And why her new boyfriend Brandon has that smug little smirk on his punk assed face. He's all Eddie Hascall with his "you look so pretty today Mrs. Smith" (obviously not my real name out of embarassment for having such a slut in the family), and "your meat loaf is so good Mrs. Smith".
Well I've got some special meatloaf just for that son of a bitch tonight. Special sauce with my bioidentical hormones for his ass.
Maybe I can grow some man boobs on him just in time for varsity baseball season. That will fix his moththerfucking little wagon.

kingstreetfarm said...

Damn, I looked at that picture and I was hungry two hours later.

Kip said...

With great moustache comes great responsibility.

Nicole oh-so Lovely said...

www.yourbabyisanasshole.com has your back...sorry you lost your poll...their shit is shit anyways

wombat said...

I have known a number of tamarins personally and every single one needed a good talking to. Golden lion tamarins especially - they're the worst. Telling off golden lion tamarins - now that would be a true public service.

sacatholic said...

Oh Fuckity Fuck for Fuck's Sake... You don't fool me for a second, Fucktard. I know you are a CuteOverload spy, sent to see if we are on to you cheating Fuckfaces. That mustache isn't worth the giz that was used to attach it to your face. Now. Fuck. Off!

Misha said...

Don't even get me started on those eyebrows!

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Why am I having "The Karate Kid" flashback by just looking at this monkey.....OMG Monkey, are you Mr.Miyagi- the tamarin version?

Well, ARE YOU?!!

Well if you are-fuck you.

If you're not- well fuck you too.

Ain't no other way over here Monkey. Ain't no other way.

Cassaundra said...

look at this dude!
what a joke!

Unknown said...

Ignore them all. Let grow, let it grow, let it GROW!!

Allgaul said...

I see some monkey manscaping in this little fuckers future!

Me said...

OMG... FUCKING hilarious! Witness protection program... that is funny!

I'm sorry you lost in that poll... but that other site cheated and I would think the officials would know that... oh well... bad karma for them!

Unknown said...

I saw somebody on the subway today who looked just like that. She almost spilled hot coffee on me!

Colleen said...

The next time you go in to get your moustache blown-out, you might want to ask for a pedicure, too.

All or nothing, Tamarin...

JAY AWESOME said...

My grandpa was a cleveland browns fan... well I thought he was my grandpa...then he died...turns out he was just a tamarin in disguise. fucking con-artist grifter prick.

JAY AWESOME said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I moustache you a question monkey... What the fuck.

B to tha H said...

Lay of the fucking Cleveland Browns fans! At least we're not Raiders' or Steelers' fans! AND our team blows anyways! That pic is from the Dawg Pound si it not representative of the more upscale fans. Assholes.

B to tha H said...

@Alex I hate when people post shit that tries to better than the original fucking caption!

Theo said...

Oh my stars and garters!!

Unknown said...

i think you would really enjoy this....www.trulyheinous.blogspot.com


-love your work-

Root said...

Holy shit, that looks like John Mayer!

Corey Ryan said...

fuck dat tamarin slut.

James K Fung said...

Moustaches and Facial hair are becoming more stylish recently... maybe the monkey is just fashion forward! haha

Taste of Luxury said...

Hey Tamarin! Nice Wilford Brimley reference, but I'm not buying anymore Oatmeal. That asshole has pulled off the greatest scam in breakfast foods since breakfast was invented. That Jerk-off said oatmeal will cure diabetes, lower your cholesteral, and make you more approachable to women. Well you know what? YOU ARE FAT! Eat the crap you are pushing.... and now Tamarin, don't even get me started with your veil of lies. We all know you use "Just for Men" on the Body and yo momma's orange die for your tail. Well guess what? Everyone knows you dye your hair! You are like the 70 year old guy at the liquor store with Jet Black hair except for one inch of Ghost white hair at the root. Does it grow in like that? NO YOU JERK OFF!! Age with Grace, instead of shame.

i have the sickness said...

that Tamarin looks delicious!

Erin Stuart said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Soldy'09 said...

the monkey is adorable. Even if it is strange that it has a white beard.

Trish said...

I gotta know, I mean this tamarin is a mess for sure, and we can all agree and poke fun at his arrogance and stupidity. But what could posters possibly have said, to be so offensive as to be removed?

JAMES WOE said...

i think the removed posts are from the tamarin, trying to defend its undercover detective stupid looking ass. pathetic. weak.

Anonymous said...

Hey now! Not every Cleveland Browns fan dresses like a moron. And definitely not like that fucktard monkey.

SCORPS said...

You say funny things

monkeyrotica said...

I think he's cute. I'd do him. So long as he waxed that 'stache, put on a pair of ass chaps, and threw "Can't Stop the Music" on the stereo.

ez cheese said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kilgore said...

"mustache you a question"

hahahahahaha! oh...

kingstreetfarm said...

Beer me this: why the hell is my word verification "asysings"? Is it just me or does that read "Assy Sings", which of course as everyone knows, refers to farting.
Is the point of all this that the tamarin is a flatulent creature? Because that might explain the yellowed hindquarters. And indeed the fu manchu might assist with diverting the noxious monkey assgasses away from the delicate and oh so cute nostrils...DAMMIT tamarin! You almost tricked me again!
Tamarins suck.

http://goeastyoungwomantodubai.wordpress.com/ said...

What is this thing? A rejected understudy for the Pai Mei character in Kill Bill?

Anonymous said...

Sweet Betsey Ross' Best Sunday Bloomers Hanging Out To Dry, what the FUCK is this mess supposed to be?

"Intelligent Design For Dummies"??

OzarkTroutBum said...

Wilford Brimley indeed!

Next thing you know the little poo flinger will be on TV with public service announcements about monkey diabeetus....

Put that opposing thumb to work and learn how to use a razor monkeytard!!

DaveW said...

Lord this thread is hilarious. Cutefuckingkills had me crying.

fred davis said...

Hey you little prick, now that you've got your stupid little beard where's the ironic t-shirt, messenger bag and the fixed gear bike? Hipster trash!

InstanthumanJustaddcoffee said...

best yet

Anonymous said...

I am a cleveland browns fan, and I approve of this message.

Anonymous said...

Tamarin, you and your buffy-headed little cousins, the marmosets, need to stop and re-evaluate the way you've been living. It's all about choices, Tamarin.

MeanWillieGreen said...

Fucking hipster doofus primate with ironic facial hair - probably just bought the Bon Iver and Fleet Foxes albums, too

Christina Berry said...

But just look at the baby Tamarin! How can you deny that thing as being absolutely adorable? The grown up one, not so much. But the baby? Awwww.

alana.julia said...

take your ironic facial hair back to williamsburg

Unknown said...

DIABEETUS.

Biff said...

Brilliant. Absolutely Brilliant.

Anonymous said...

you are very shallow aren't you? just an observance by the way you focus so much on even the animals appearance..i wouldn't want to be a friend of yours knowing all you would do is ridicule and put me down for every flaw i have even the ones i can't do anything about.