Tuesday, January 20, 2009

One asshole (to scale)


This egotistical little jerk was basically like "Check me out, eh? EH?" and then when people didn't respond he was all "Okay, maybe you don't understand, I AM ONLY ONE AND A HALF INCHES TALL" and stood next to a fucking ruler to illustrate his point.

Well, first of all, Quail, I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ALLOWED TO USE CAPS LOCK ON THIS BLOG. And second, just because you are an impossibly small version of a bird doesn't make it okay to show it off. I know you grow up to be a bit of a dandy, so you have to go for it while you still got it, but you are going full court press at the moment. I need you to slow down or face the consequences, you miniature bastard.

47 comments:

Jessica Mooney said...

What a sphincter! Big fucking deal ruler boy--I've crapped out bigger turds than you. Screw you asshole!

gradschoolknitter said...

Everyone can see that you're slouching, quail. Who do you think you're fooling anyway?

Sean600 said...

god dammit quail! I hate you -__-

Super Ninja Mommy said...

quails think they're great because they start with a q. assholes.

Anonymous said...

This needs to be on Cute Overload! Sweet little quail!

David Dust said...

Don't let them lie to you, Quail - size DOES matter. And you are one tiny little twerp.

Fuck You, Quail.

Becky said...

I can just feel the smug, quail chick. Just remember, when you're all grown up your ass will be mighty tasty, stuffed with bacon and fried. So molt those downy pinfeathers already, people are hungry over here!

jflorek said...

God! How annoying!

Tim McNutt said...

Why is there a brown spot just below the 1? Did the quail wipe its ass on the ruler? Prick.

Carefree Mel said...

you make me want to kill myself.

G double dash LOC said...

Quail you think your so cute you can just flip me off...ass.

Mark said...

Wipe that smug look off your face, quail. You think you're so tough. What? You're gonna what? I'd like to see you try. Bite me.

Anonymous said...

Fucking miniature fowl piss me off.

Anonymous said...

Haha that quail is the cutest show off I have ever seen...

Nicole oh-so Lovely said...

his brothers and sisters were made into delicious sushi

love,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com

Tara Rabeumdeay said...

I'm ignoring you, tiny quail, so maybe you'll go away.

Krissyface said...

Little douche.

I eat his eggs for breakfast.

Spittalker.com said...

Fuck quails!

DH said...

I am assuming this quail is female. No self-respecting male would ever brag about being only one and a half inches--anywhere.

furiousBall said...

ask that quail to spell "potato"

Mary Elizabeth (MErider) said...

The quail has beaten me into submission...he is really that cute. Ahhhh...

Traycina said...

Jesus, I can only read about half of this because I got my eyes dilated at the doc today, but I'm laughing so fucking hard I'm crying and it fucking BURNS, thankyouverymuch.

Jenny said...

Short man complexes make me SICK.

JoeBama "Truth 101" Kelly said...

Fuck that fucking Dan Quayle also! Thinks cause he was vice president and his daddy owns newspaper his shit don't stink.

Anonymous said...

FUP!

I do believe you have outdone yourself with that heading and photo combination.

That quail actually looks like it heard you telling it off.

ROFLMAO

Sedition said...

Fail Quail

kilgore said...

dude, you are totally squishable. totally. come'ere. i'll show ya.

M said...

Ha, a week ago and he'd have made a nice breakfast!

Anonymous said...

Geezuz quail, you look just like an Araucana chick. You can even come up with your own look? You have to steal one from a chicken? My gawd you're an asshole!

Pogue said...

Mmmmmm... quail. I'd eat him, but that don't mean I want to hang out with him or anything. Fuck that delicious bird!

laughingwolf said...

not even worth a wuff opening his mouth for!

Jeff said...

That little shit is a poser. If he stood up straight he could be a good 2 inches. Fuck him.

Anonymous said...

Alright Im not gonna lie I want that quail...

SwaggerMagic said...

yeah at first glance your an adorable little chuff quail, but then, i saw your freaky ass little (huge) feet and was totally turned off. fuck you quail.

Michael said...

"I need you slow down or face the consequences, you miniature bastard. " That my be my favorite quote ever (certainly for this year).

JAMES WOE said...

i'd let this little quail perch on my flaccid mansack and then crush him beneath some fat hooker's labial carnage as she gyrated atop me. ever been in a sweaty threesome quail? i doubt it, you one-inch, virgin-beaked freak.

www.gizzardsandgravy.blogspot.com

The Jules said...

It might be massive in the tiny stakes, but so are headlice.

Also, you've only got one leg, and that's HUGE!

Anonymous said...

Silly quail.

Anonymous said...

WTF. What good are you? How can I eat you if you're so tiny? Humm... OH! Touche.

cutefuckingkills said...

James Woe,
Dude, are you alright? No seriously, you have me concerned here. That poor innocent little quail did not have shit to do with the fish sofa and there are lots of people who can help if you would give them a chance. I'm just saying, and we are here for you man.
Oh yeah, fuck you baby quail.

Ann Drogyny said...

You are hands down, without a doubt, one of the funniest people I've ever had the pleasure of hearing...in my head, as I read your blog to myself. So thank you, and I think I am in love with you. Really.

JAMES WOE said...

thank you cutefuckingkills for your concern...i appreciate your intervention. I will not have sex with quails. youre right, they are gross little unattractive puds. not sexy.

Anonymous said...

oh fuck OFF with your ruler..

suzy yun said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
suzy yun said...

ok you are kind of being an asshole right now, all smug and shit. wake the fuck up quail! nobody likes that shit.

Amy-Lynn said...

What a collosal douchebag.

Fuck you, quail, and all your delicious unborn brothers and sisters that I'm gonna scramble for my breakfast tomorrow.

Fuck you.

Reeny's Ramblin' said...

Turd burgler.