Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Baby aardvark breaks email


What are you, Aardvark, some kind of anarchist Marxist fascist? Obviously, you must have known that uploading this picture of yourself onto the internet would single-handedly bring down the modern world. Moments after this baby updated its Facebook profile, millions of people stopped what they were doing to email this picture to everyone they knew. MANY OF THEM WERE GRANDMOTHERS, AARDVARK, WITH NO DEFENSE AGAINST YOUR POWERS. Have you no shame? We are already in a depression, Aardvark, what more do you want from us?

Wait a second. Solitary and nocturnal. Doesn't eat fruit. "An aardvark emerges from its burrow in the late afternoon or shortly after sunset, and forages over a considerable home range encompassing 10 to 30 kilometers, swinging its long nose from side to side to pick up the scent of food." It's an entire species of hackers! More snouts and tails and giant feet and wrinkly skin and goofy ears are coming, UPDATE YOUR NORTON SOFTWARE PEOPLE.

31 comments:

G double dash LOC said...

Is that a ballsack with legs and a face? Now I have rid my mouth of this bile taste.

Nicole oh-so Lovely said...

i always wondered what Madonna looked like with out her make-up....i thought it was this: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/152/345885181_50c1e45d55.jpg

but i have been proven wrong

love,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com

Jessica Mooney said...

Thanks a lot douche. Attacking the defenseless? That's such BULLSHIT! God, you are totally pissing me off! And do you really need two "a"s in your name? What is that--besides unbelievably annoying? Get over yourself. Really.

Mame said...

I see a baby aardvark vs. baby pangolin cute-off in the near future. Assholes.

This Idiot
idiotdog.blogspot.com

JAMES WOE said...

just living rectal tissue. thats it. bastard hacker.

Tim McNutt said...

That thing looks like it moved to Palm Beach, sits at the dog track all day, complains about the heat, then comes home to a condo set at 82 degrees. Wait, is that you Grandpa?

Cindy said...

It's some kind of weird combination of donkey/pig/elephant - that mother baby wiki picture. Gives me the creeps.

Anonymous said...

Oh boy this animal is getting a hard time. And aardvark is already such a crazy name for an animal...

Modern Hooker said...

Looks remarkably like a client I once had.

--Modern Hooker
www.modernhooker.com
http://twitter.com/modernhooker

mel g said...

heehee sometimes i can't tell if the comments are directed at the critter or the blogposter and i think to myself, "woweee, there's a bit of tension." animal haters and animal lovers are equal in hilarity. thank you to all but the apathetic for the laughs. no thank you to the nastiest aardvark i have ever seen in my life.

Will Niccolls said...

Looks like a European male genital organ to me. Not that I would know. Ahem.

Misha said...

It looks like something that erupted from John Hurt's chest.

Allgaul said...

Aardvarks are merely a lost tribe of elephants (their nearest relatives). They took a wrong turn somewhere around Libya and got lost in the jungle and never got back to the group and never evolved into full blown elephants. So not only are they ridiculous-looking, they're stupid, too.

furiousBall said...

this is exactly why some men refrain from performing cunnilingus

Mark said...

Aasshole.

Dughallmor Beagles said...

Aawww, but just look at it's ugly cuteness though!

G said...

Also annoying is that damned Jewish accent of theirs.

Meeg said...

Kind of cute, but I think you can tell from the pic that its evil.

DH said...

Never--and I mean never--trust an animal that has a double vowel in its name.

Mark Johnston said...

Oh my God, it's my new favorite animal! Thanks Fuck You Penguin.

Anonymous said...

It does look like a cute skinny baby elephant. Have you seen the cute elephant that is selling more paintings than I am?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He7Ge7Sogrk&feature=related

Anonymous said...

Y'know the whole ET thing where something is so revoltingly ugly it starts to become cute? Yeah that's what this thing is.

Anonymous said...

Its head is a skin milk bottle.

Who could even estimate the pleasure such a structure could bring to a female homo sapiens with the will and necessary lubrication?

The market for Aardcore remains an untapped, niche market.

GRK. said...

Jez, there's three A's in "aardvark". The greedy vowel-snaffling git.

foreverinautumn said...

Im most curious as to how the aardvark has its own cucumber. the "aardvark cucumber", really? just because its the only fruit YOU eat Aardvark should not mean its forbidden to the rest of us...NM, I wont give you the satisfaction. Im going to go eat a HUMAN cucumber. Wait, that didn't come out right at all.

Unknown said...

And no I do NOT appreciate your impression of the hideous creature that Angelica Huston turns into at the end of Roald Dahl's The Witches.

THAT'S AN OUTDATED REFERENCE, ASSHOLE!

Anonymous said...

Who glued plastic eyes onto this shaved scrotum?

Damn, whoever this dude is, he is gonna REGRET drinking that extra bottle of champagne Tuesday... and that's gonna itch like fuck when it grows back.

Ly said...

Knock Knock.
Whos there?
Aardvark.
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a million miles for you!

yarravillewahine said...

You sure this is an aardvark and not a walking foetus?

funnydaddy said...

this baby aardvark looks remarkably like my son when he wakens on a school day what an ugly big eared kid he is a photo will come soon to kill this website for ever and ever

funnydaddy said...

dont u just love their big fat noses and big flappy ears !!!!!!!!!!!lol :)bet they would make gr8 fun pets just like ma brother btw it is funnydaddys daughter here :P