I know many of you have been waiting for this week for a very long time, but perhaps you didn't know why. Well, your suspicions were correct: this week THE GREATEST MOMENT IN AMERICAN HISTORY IS HAPPENING.
That's right: Fuck You, Penguin T-Shirts have arrived. (I believe there is also a new episode of Biggest Loser: Couples on tomorrow!!!)
Yes, because I hate ads, but love meth, I came up with the most original way to get your money ever!!! (I also sell X-Box 360s on Craig's List.) Show your devotion to the cause by displaying the super-cool Fuck You, Penguin logo designed by secret graphic-design god Dan Lopez all over town. YOU WILL BE THE HOTTEST BITCH ON THE BLOCK!!! T-shirts have been around for practically thousands of years, so there is no way these will ever go out of style.
Thrill to the straight-up logo shirt:
Marvel at the ladies version of the shirt:
Totally fucking go batshit insane for the censored but still paradigm-shifting hoodie:
Warning: THESE SHIRTS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! Also, do not wear pants with these shirts, because you will end up having to take them off anyway as soon as your biggest crush sees you in one!
Just read these testimonials from actual made-up people:
"Thank God I don't have to murder everyone in my office and I can just buy this shirt to make up for the fact that I hate my job!" -businessman, 35
"Holy shit, Mom, is that a Fuck You, Penguin shirt? When did you get to be so cool? Just for that, I won't steal money out of your purse in fifteen years." -baby, 6mo.
"Could you get me one of those? If so, you can come back for a second interview. How's tomorrow at 2?" -important person, 56
"Hey, where did everyone go? I'm being cute! Goddammit, I bet it's those damn shirts again." -penguin, 3Make sure to get your shirt quickly, because these will sell out (not true). Note: 10% of the proceeds from these shirts will be added to 90% of the proceeds from these shirts, which I will then keep.
UPDATE: By popular demand (of three people), you can now get the Fuck You, Penguin store logo on a T-Shirt. I AM HERE FOR YOU.
More stuff:
52 comments:
I WANT ONE!
Do you also ship to Germany or do I have to come over?
I will buy 367 of the hoodies and distribute them to various homeless people in the LA county to prove we have way too much money over here and are always trying to prove a point with creativity.
love,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com
These might actually be too hardcore for me, yo.
Thank God for these Tee's (no relation). I had no reason to be HOPEFUL tomorrow! (except for that whole new Biggest Loser episode thing)
I had a dream that my four little children would one day live in a nation where they would not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their t-shirts.
Check!
Wow, that are some cool shirts/sweaters... I am seriously thinking of buying one.
I think you should only take 5% of the proceeds and add them to the 95% and then keep.
i want one but i live in hong kong and the stupid site that sells them doesn't list it (or china) as a valid billing address country.
doesn't have india either. so take 1/6 of the world's population, add it to another 1/6, and that's how many people can't give you money.
where's the love for asia? i just want to buy it, i can have it shipped to family in the states if you won't ship overseas. otherwise, 100% of my money will not go to you.
small request lest you should tell me to go fuck myself...
can we get that top logo on a t-shirt, it would be amazing if the penguin were kind of wearing the "fuck, you"
I want!!! But I need a censored t-shirt. I strongly suggest that be an option.
And yes, you can tell me to FOAD for suggesting it.
until now, i had been running around town with a t-shirt that had "fuck me penguin" written in sharpy on it...never had to take my pants off, ever...but now, with the promise of a real Fuck You Penguin t-shirt, i know my 4 inches of rock hard manpole will receiving endless favors via fashion power. Maybe even gettin some teabag action if i opt for the hoodie.... thank you, for helping me orgasm repeatedly.
First Springsteen sells his new album exclusively through Wal-Mart...now FUP is offering "officially licensed" merchandise...What next? Colleges exploiting their student-athletes to pad their coffers? Oh, the humanity!
ok James it's not that serious...
cool shit yo, as if this week couldn't get any better!
Ooops--I just shit my pants!
HOLY FUCK!
I want the hoodie. Do you do international shipping?
Ooooh...I want one, but I can't go around wearing "fuck." (Children...not mine, but, well, around. All the time. With jumpy parents.)
But I really want one. Really really. Just that, well, I'd have no where to wear it. Since, well, see above.
Sigh.
This is seriously the best ad I have ever seen/read. Except for the Durex ads with the condom balloon animals. But how are you going to compete with that?
people in my office are wondering why I have tears in my eyes right now. This shit is just too funny.
When I try to buy one, it tells me my shopping cart is empty. Has unprecedented demand caused the shopping site to crash?
Have you come across the Long eared jerboa, an animal which must be fictional based on the fact that it is too cute to possibly exist in real life.
i love you.
In the immortal words of Chazz Michael Michaels, I couldn't love a human baby as much as I love Fuck You, Penguin.
I almost always only wear shirt-no-pants, but never have I seen it as a prescription. I feel much better now.
20 Dollars? I'm buying a sharpie for a buck and drawing my own. Okay, no I'm not - the cachet of owning an original is too strong. Damn you and your hipster cachet, Fuck You, Penguin!
"Yes, because I hate ads, but love meth" GENIUS...
I want one!!!! but i cant have it.... a little bit (more) censored would help!!! why must the word fuck not be allowed at school?!?!?!??
WHY are you the funniest person ever, WHY I implore you?!
I think I love you.
Oh great, now the L train is going to look like MARCH OF THE (fucking) PENGUINS. And once that happens, then we'll see the Wall Streeters wearing FUP t-shirts at the gym and then they'll be on the old bats at your mom's book club and then, well, forget it. All I can say is, FUP blog posts better be keeping it real. Because just about nothing makes me laugh harder.
This Idiot
http://idiotdog.blogspot.com
This will finally show those effing penguins and their animal kingdom ilk just who (or is it whom) sits at the top of the food chain. That's right - t-shirt wearers! Make mine an XL, please. I need full range of motion to flip off the beasts.
I love you and you should have my babies, like that guy on Oprah.
Hahaha, you are so brilliant.
GIMMEE GIMMEE - Sweeney5211
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I WISH I had a job (and therefore some money to buy one of these)
Do you take credit?
OMG T-SHIRTS!! I just shit my pants!
Holy SHIT....get the hell outta my head.And soon.
Well,this will be the best way to show those thought police who we really side with.That would be the Penguin.Take that Cute Overload.
I am on my way to the pawn shop now to dump my bikes,the George Forman grill(with bun warmer) and whatever else I can dig up in my frenzy
Ok, so this is the first time to your site but my friend Loves penguins and I woud love just to get him this to mess with him! How much are the tshirts???
I seriously want one, but I can't wear a t-shirt with a swear word on it. Could you make up a t-shirt for wusses like myself? Maybe it could say FU Penguin, or something like that.
For everyone who needs more polite t-shirts, fear not, other shirts are coming.
However, this is your best shot at a shirt with a penguin on it, at least for the near future. Maybe in a while there will be others. But maybe in a while we will all be dead.
What I'm saying is, live for the moment.
fuck you fuck you penguin. i really want that hoody but i am b-roke! what do i have to do to get it for free? hmm?
I am such a hypocrite!!!!
http://www.printfection.com/fupenguin/FU-Penguin-T-Shirt/_p_3494393
Hope you enjoy, and wear with confidence.
So now were gonna start with the penguin-bashing again!
fuckin' "The store where I SELL cute animals' what's what." HA.
i am unemployed, going on 6 months and i WILL BUY ONE OF THESE SHIRTS!!! i probably wouldn't have had time to find you if i had a job. thank god for being terminated! you are so funny. like really funny. i laugh so hard. i love you.
I could totally go for that top log on a hoodie. I've got too many tees, and it's cooold now :(
Can you make them available in other colors?
I <3 the tote!!! totally getting it!!!
U rock!
You are seriously hilarious! Seriously.
where's the thong? i want a thong
YES to the dog wearing the I AM PART OF THE PROBLEM tshirt. genius
I would never wear a shirt that disses the linux mascot!
This will totally blow your mind.
http://www.act-i-vate.com/58.comic
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