Wednesday, January 28, 2009

What conceited meerkats really want to do is direct


Oh my God, you little highly social jerk off. It's not enough that you get your OWN FUCKING SHOW, you have to be Ansel fucking Adams with the camera. But this is exactly what happens when animals get too popular, it all goes to their heads and they start to think they should be running the show. Guess what, Meerkat? NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR POOR USE OF NEGATIVE SPACE. And yeah, your exploration of morality in a post-9/11 society would be much more impactful if you weren't a fucking cannibal, you sicko.

Let's both you and me face it together, Meerkat. The only reason people pay attention to you is for your looks, and once those go, you will be replaced by a cuter, more talented animal. I'm thinking, oh, I don't know, ELEPHANT ESTATE. Terrified, aren't you, Meerkat? Get ready to find out who your friends really are.

46 comments:

Tim McNutt said...

Hey Meerkat, I liked you better when we called you by your original name, Ferret. You appear to be shooting some sort of "Meerkats Gone Wild" pictorial, but Meerkat remember what happened to Joe Francis. He went to jail and got sodomized. Enjoy prison rape!

David Dust said...

Fucking Meerkats.

I have three words of advice for your directing "career":

Fade.To.Black.

That's a wrap, bitches.

Hello. said...

My gosh, I love you! Damn good hilarious!

kim said...

Maybe you could get a job hawking ProActive acne cream for those zits about to pop on your chest!

those aren't zits, you say? Well they sure as hell don't pass for boobs, either!!

Anonymous said...

Oh meerkat I love your good look... And now I see you can even photograph.

Joan of Argghh! said...

NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR POOR USE OF NEGATIVE SPACE.

Fuckin' A.

DH said...

In your case, Meerkat, f.stop means fucking stop. Just fucking stop.

Anonymous said...

Meerkat, u look stupid behind AND in front of a cam. Remember that.

Anonymous said...

"Forget cuddly and caring - meerkats are baby-killing cannibals"

Thanks for revealing the truth my friend...

Darci said...

FUP. I was trying to locate a really cool pic I had of some humming birds to send you, but it appears I have misplaced it. I have a strong desire to hear what you have to say to them, the flighty little syurp sucking bastards....
Oh, and about those Meerkats? If you jumble the letters around, its spells Me Takers....need I say more?

kristine said...

Hey meerkat! I hope your little friend sneaking up underneath you is there to tear out your throat and gnaw on your carcass, you little jerk.

tea_please said...

"Ansel fucking Adams"

Anonymous said...

Fucking prima donna Timon- no WONDER Pumbaa left you for a weasel!!

They're very happy together, living it up on the French Riviera and laughing their asses off at you. Pumbaa's agent, too- he fucked you out of all those Disney royalties.

Get bent, meerkat.

gregoryyy said...

Are we going to put up this stuff,people? Shit.

I am tired of Celebrity this,Celebrity that.This clearly shows the next level ,and, where the shots are coming from.

Meerkat,you are responsible for all the the bullshit reality shows,are'nt you?? Probably hanging with that skank Paula Abdul.Did you turn her into a drunk with your high standards?

Don't think we are going to let you off the hook for those American Apparel ads you silly freak.

Watch your back.

Jessica Mooney said...

That's just like an asshole--take, take and fucking take! Give me a fucking break.And FUP is giving you a little to much credit saying you have "looks"--you can't lose what you never had schmuckburger.

Anonymous said...

Hey Meerkat,

Can I get an autograph? I've been a fan of you guys since I was a kid and you were just rodents that hung out at the entrace to the Melbourne Zoo.

No?

Fuck you then.

Shimmy said...

Fucking Meerkat, you're as slow-witted and tasty as a bag of moths.

Anonymous said...

Little bastards better stay out of Louisiana -- we'll make a gumbo out of 'em.

Nicole oh-so Lovely said...

The Meerkat is the high-school-drop-out-trust-fund-baby verson of the Lemur.

Sincerely,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com

JPM said...

Is he wearing eye makeup!? Soooo pretentious.

Unknown said...

YOU'RE ONLY FAMOUS BECAUSE OF TIMON IN "THE LION KING." FUCK YOU, MEERKAT. YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT A WARTHOG.

furiousBall said...

i can totally see your nipples (all 30 of them), you dickwad

M@ said...

I would fight a whole flock of meerkats. If I was drunk enough.

Noob Mommy said...

Martin Freakin Scorsese!

Jenny said...

social climber. next he will be seen in a scientology center.

G double dash LOC said...

Oh Suricata suricatta, the animal that was so nice they named it twice. Yeah I am not buying your little shirade. You just made the american ground hog look a hole lot better. And hes a rodent for fucks sake!

Mame said...

Look at the suck-up weasel at the bottom of the tripod. Idiots.

Jon Defreest said...

You can easily star in a meerkat production... but you have to do things.

Meerkat things. If you have to ask, then you probably can't handle it.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, meerkat, like we're supposed to believe you're some frickin' artiste with a vision.

I know what you are up to. This is just a big show so you can get some easy pussy from meerkat sluts who want to be actresses.

You're basically a meerkat Woody Allen, an ugly little twerp with a tiny dick and no talent who has figured out that directing is the only way he can get laid. Stay out of my way, Mr. Artiste, or I will cockslap you into the next county.

The Val said...

I would like to smash this meerkat's face into a car windshield, and never call it again.

Jeff said...

I've seen tougher fucking meerkats on the way to a fight.

Thinkinfyou said...

This is the funniest shit I've read all day! Great blog!

Anonymous said...

I'll give you this, Mr. Artiste. That slut you're banging in the photo I linked is pretty hot.

Shahana said...

Who does he think he is, frickin' Jason? At least he knows his scary-ass face belongs BEHIND the camera, not in front of it!

Allgaul said...

Meerkat-and you can't even spell 'cat' right-you suck! You are SO not a cool cat, not a hep cat, not a fat cat-you are merely a loser meerkat. More like a Krazykat-a kantankerous katastrophy of kataclysmic proportions kind of kat. F'ing loser. I hate you and your successful show on cable. Now Scram!

Edward Von Bear said...

I want to go back in time and kick this meerkat's father in the nuts, just for the hell of it.

Edward Von Bear said...

Give this critter its own show on Animal Planet, and it thinks it's Matt Freakin' Damon!

Elemente Magazine said...

he clearly doesn't know how to use the camera...he's looking through the tripod! Stupid Meerkat!
- Angus MacKenzie

Angus Mac said...

Is he a kat or posing as a confused, transgendered, ferret-like wannabe? Clearly his compositional skills are there but his use of the tripod to frame his subject is unconventional. As is his/her standing-on-the-tripod shooting style (are those tits on a dude?) His assistant is clearly sexually confused, as are most meerkats. I think this kat has potential either at Vanity Fair or at the very least as an sexually consused assistant for Annie Leibovitz.

Jess said...

Sadly, I liked Meerkat Manor until some bigger animal killed a baby. But then I laughed...I have a sick nature.

Kennedy Smith said...

Nicole is right. This pretentious Hollywood asshole is nothing more than a over-nippled lemur, who'll hump a gumball machine as soon as look at it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epJTvIlk4hM

HAPPY IN YOUR NAPPY said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0mXUC0cUPg

Check this out! Fecking Meerkats are everywhere.

HAPPY IN YOUR NAPPY said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0mXUC0cUPg

Check this out! Fecking Meerkats are everywhere.

Anonymous said...

hahahaa.Ansel fucking Adams.

Guy's worthless anyway, oOoh laaaandscapes. My 4 year old NEPHEW can take landscapes with his eyes shut.

The Sexy Pedestrian said...

Ha! He's concentrating so hard, that's focus.

spikejazz said...

I'm so sick of meercats! They are the new penguins! They are not even CATS! Get yer own species name...loooozers! With that stooopid show on Animal Planet and all. Gimme a break!